Google questions answered

Q:  how can you pay off credit card debt without getting a second job

A:  Cut expenses.

Q:  careerhow to have kids in acadimia

A:  Just don’t.  Neither the kids nor especially the academia.  Especially not the academia.

Q:  who are mothers

A:  Ooh ooh, I know this one.  To quote Free to Be You and Me.  “Mothers are women, women with children.”  They can be almost anything, but they cannot be fathers (barring hermaphrodites, and assuming that transsexuals are only one sex at a time).

Q: can i eat colby jack cheese if i’m allergice to cow’s milk?

A:  What?  No!  How did you survive long enough to be able to use the internet on your own?  (Now, if you’re just lactose intolerant, you’ll have to try it and see what happens.)

Q:  is it a sin that people are starving and yet we are wasting

A:  If I recall my Catholic indoctrination training, yes, it is a sin of omission.  We are all sinners because we cannot save the world and many of us are too lazy to try.  We should probably try a little harder than we do, but perhaps not so hard as we think we ought.

Q:  am i famous on the internet yet?

A:  Not yet.

Q:  who should i ask to buy stuff from my fundraiser

A:  Not us!

Q:  can i eat sharp humbolt cheese while pregnant

A:  probably not, for the same reason you should avoid brie and other soft raw milk cheeses– if you get food poisoning that’s dangerous.  You can eat it if it has been cooked extensively first to kill any potential pathogens.

Q:  do you cancel teaching when you’re sick?

A:  So far, no.

Q:  do leftovers from night before keep for packed lunches next day if not heated

A:  We don’t want to get sued, so we’ll say, “When in doubt, throw it out.”  Obviously different kinds of leftovers are going to make better packed lunches than others.  We do not recommend sushi, for example.  Pancakes are probably fine.  But always, be careful.

Q:  can we use the same dataset to publish different papers

A:  Of course!  So long as the questions and answers are different than your previously published papers.  Otherwise only one paper would ever be allowed to be published using say, the census, and that would be silly.

Q: should i tell my mom i have twitter?

A: Not unless you remove that link to the picture of your junk first. Actually, do that anyway. Nobody wants to see it.

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Posted in Uncategorized. Tags: . 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Google questions answered”

  1. femmefrugality Says:

    Oh, when I started working in schools I got so sick (my immune system was adjusting.) I called off because I thought it was the right thing to do..didn’t want to spread it. Then the teachers I worked with came in with diarrhea. So I learned that you don’t call off ever. Never did after that.

  2. Debbie M Says:

    I bet that sometimes one of the men in a family with two male parents likes to refer to himself as the mother. It just seems more fun to be “the mother” rather than “the other father” or “one of the fathers.” Especially if you have lots of facial hair.

    Of course they would have to explain to their kids that in most families, the parents don’t get to pick who is the mother and who is the father, but then they are probably reconciled to a lot of explaining anyway.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      One of my college friends had a mother, an “other mother” and a “step-other-mother.” But in this case the mother had actually gone through the whole giving birth thing (and got primary custody), so it was easier to decide who was mother and who other mother.

  3. Comrade PhysioProf Says:

    I wanna know how many pregnant people have had problems because they ate some motherf*ckern cheese. Not speculation, but actual numbers. I SAY EATT THE FDUCKEN CHEEZE!!!!!!!!

    • becca Says:

      CPP- I can probably look that up, assuming it’s only listeria that can do it. For reference, I think there was one miscarriage and four neonates sick in the cantaloupe outbreak this year. That was an unusual outbreak- more deadly than most. And, for whatever reason it looks like it hit pregnant women a lot lighter than other outbreaks. In other outbreaks, 1/2 of the victims being pregnant associated is more common. So… ballpark high number… maybe 70 per year, every 1-10 years (about how often you see it show up in cheeses relative to other things).
      Also, to clarify, listeria doesn’t really make pregnant women sick so much as the fetuses and babies.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      You can still eat any pasteurized cheese and any cheese that’s been cooked. Same with cold-cuts.

      It’s one of those things that’s good to avoid because even though the risk is small, the potential outcome is horrific, and it is fairly easy to avoid.

      If I accidentally eat the wrong thing I don’t freak out about it because the risk is small, but it’s something that is fairly easy to actively avoid. Microwave the sandwich meat. Choose the cheddar or melt the brie. Not difficult.


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