We’re from the Midwest, and in our part of the Midwest we don’t lie, we don’t dissimulate, and silence is deadly because if you can’t say anything nice, you don’t say anything at all. In the Midwest one of the rudest things a person can do is say someone is lying (without proof). We don’t *do* that. We’re not always the softest-tongued people, but you can trust what we say when we say it.
So when someone accuses someone else of lying, especially when the accused person is not there to defend hirself, we don’t really feel a need to be nice to that someone. That’s one reason people who say that “parents who say their kids are gifted are liars” are not welcome to say such things here. And we’re not happy when people make statements that they know people IRL who pretend to be happy or pretend to be balanced. Those are horrible bitchy things to say, especially if you don’t have any proof. And they’re worse when you’re telling them to someone from the Midwest where lying is taboo.
One of us has also lived in SoCal and knows that saying things people want to hear is more the social order and there isn’t as big a taboo on bending the truth. There was a period of adjustment for her learning that. Of course, she didn’t change herself to start bending the truth (when she said, “Let’s do lunch,” she really meant it– especially if she said it 3 times), but she learned the social cues that put truth probabilities to people’s statements so she could figure out what was actually going to happen and what people thought might be nice to happen if the stars aligned. That sort of thing. So perhaps our reaction to accusing people of lying behind their backs isn’t at the same level as or as understandable for everyone on the internet.
Still, if you’re going to accuse people of lying without proof… here is not a good place to do it. We’re likely to get out the big stick of moderation after warning you politely. Go find a blog with other assholes and you can complain about whatever you want behind peoples’ backs. That’s the beauty of the internet. But you’re not worth our time, and despite Midwesterners being a generally hospitable people, you’re not welcome here unless you can learn some manners.