#1 : I think imma have to stop reading Suzie’s blog for a bit. Her son is finishing his PhD and getting tons of offers from great schools in gorgeous locations. Must…. quench…. jealousy… of petroleum engineers….
#2: you wouldn’t want to be a petroleum engineer
#2: and they have to work, with like, oil companies.
#1 : he was like, Oh mom, what should I do, I have so many places wanting to hire me… I was like, I smash you.
#1: he has an offer at [school in Awesome Wet City]
#2 : don’t be jealous
#1: why not?
#2: you don’t want to be a petroleum engineer
#1: it’s like, I know exactly why it’s bad to be jealous, and how unfounded it is, and how everyone has problems, yadda yadda, but thinking I shouldn’t be jealous doesn’t stop it.
#2: yeah, but in this specific case
you don’t actually want to be a petroleum engineer
you wouldn’t actually trade with this person
#1: I don’t. But I might want a job offer at [Awesome School].
#2: but not a petroleum engineering job.
I’m afraid you probably wouldn’t get tenure at [Awesome School] in petroleum engineering. You’d have to do petroleum engineering theory or something (does that exist?) You would have to be really good at faking it.
“This theory is so brilliant no one can understand it!”
no, not in petroleum engineering. No petroleum engineering for me.
#2: You have my permission to be jealous of the profs [in your field] at Stanford. That at least makes sense. While you’re at it, stick to being jealous of the tenured ones
stanford won’t hire meeeeeeeeeee
#2: no, but at least you want that job more than one in a petroleum engineering dept…
#2: or maybe it’s easier thinking about being jealous of the petroleum engineering department in [Awesome Wet City] because deep down you don’t really want to be a petroleum engineer in [Awesome Wet City]
#2: because if that’s been your goal all along, you’ve made a few really odd choices
Grumpeteers, do you indulge in jealousy? Do you prefer more realistic targets or less? Do you feel like you’re being jealous of the right people? (Or should you aim higher or lower?) Is there anything that stops it???