When will we leave a sharply worded comment on your post?

You have been warned… !

These are gathered from general patterns across the blogosphere, not from anyone’s particular blog.  (Well, except #4.  Thank goodness we’ve only seen one blog that does that.)

  1. When you claim that it is poor people’s fault for being poor, or black people’s fault for being unemployed, or Hispanic people’s fault you don’t have a job, and similar things.  (Note:  these are not true.)
  2. When you attack a woman’s children because she is successful and thus cannot be doing a decent job of raising her kids.  (Note:  this is not true and there are better ways to justify your lifestyle choices.  If you need to attack someone else’s choices that they have no cause to complain about, then perhaps it is time to re-examine your own.)
  3. When you’re always blaming other people for your problems.  We try really hard to avoid these blogs but occasionally (we click on a tantalizing headline off someone’s blogroll and) we snap.  And although in this case, our comment is generally gently worded, we have made an enemy for life (because, oh yeah, you see the worst of every single interaction you’re in).
  4. When you sexualize infants, children, and attachment parenting.  That is just MESSED UP.
  5. When you’re always complaining about the SAME THING and then you go and make BAD CHOICES that are going to result in the same thing you’re always complaining about only worse.  We don’t mind complaining about the same thing if it’s justified (it’s not your fault your ex isn’t paying child-support), we don’t even mind what kinds of foolish choices you make with your money, it’s the digging yourself into a deeper hole just so you can complain even more that gets to us.  We try reallly hard to never read your blog again, but sometimes Schadenfreude wins, and when that happens sometimes we say something even though we know it won’t do any good.
    • #1 has much more of a hair-trigger on this one than does #2. #2 is hamstrung by the fact that my browser keeps logging me out of wordpress, so leaving comments becomes a several-step process and by then I don’t care anymore.
    • #1 notes that isn’t true– #1 is much better at not visiting said blogs.
  6. When you tell everybody that your life choice is the One True Path and that everybody else is destroying their children, is a wimp, a spendthrift, a loser, and so on.
  7. When you say that other people are not doing enough even though you’re not doing anything yourself.  Example:  telling infertile couples they should just adopt when you haven’t adopted, saying that people who don’t send their kids to public school are selfish when you’re not supporting public schools (this one even inspired a post)
  8. When you say that worrying about education for gifted kids is a terrible thing and you should let kids be kids.  Or that kids need to stay with their same-age peers.  Or that there’s no reason for kids to read early.  Hulk smash.

What gets you ticked off enough to be snippy?  We already know Cloud doesn’t roll that way, but what about the rest of you?

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70 Responses to “When will we leave a sharply worded comment on your post?”

  1. Laura Vanderkam (@lvanderkam) Says:

    I tend not to read blogs that I’m not going to be (mostly) sympathetic to. Life is short. What I more am trying to figure out is how (or if) to respond to comments on blogs I like from people making some of the points above.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      We tend not to either, but sometimes that headline off someone else’s blogroll is just too tantalizing.

      • Laura Vanderkam (@lvanderkam) Says:

        True. I probably read more “women can’t have it all” posts than I should — even though I know the poster will be describing why her life is difficult, and then generalizing to absolutely everyone else.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        Helpful hint: They generally don’t like it when you suggest that they get their husbands to do some housework or anything home-related requiring mental load.

      • GMP Says:

        Let me offer a bit of perspective from a person who wishes her husband did more, or better yet, different type of housework. We have been married nearly 14 years and in that time he has gone from doing squat (as we were both brought up with traditional gender roles) to now doing the yard (mowing/snow blowing), all of our laundry, vacuuming/dusting, and some kid entertainment. He’s sometimes grumpy about it, but he does it. I still do most of childcare, 100% of cooking, dishes, grocery shopping, doctor’s appointments, and all the stupid mental-load stuff like organizing playdates. filling out childcare forms, thank-you notes etc.

        We have had many, many arguments about chores, and even separated for a few months about 3 years into the marriage; chore division was not the only issue, but it was a big one at that time.

        At some point I decided to stop arguing about chores as I didn’t have the energy any more. I don’t know if this is the case with other women whose husbands don’t do chores, but in my case it certainly isn’t like I am avoiding having “the talk;” it’s more about deciding that 783 talks is enough and that I can’t have that fight any more.

        One thing is that I recognized, which I probably could have sooner, is that my husband does not respond well to being pushed and generally does arrive at the right conclusion if you give him enough time to process (which is really hard, with me being super impatient and all). For instance, I was pressuring him to have Baby #3 and he was adamantly against it. I left him alone and, within a couple of months, he came around and was quite enthusiastically on board. So badgering him about how I have no free time and he does so he should do more in the house etc did not work, but pointing out non-confrontationally that I am tired and stressed and how much work I have does eventually register with him and he offers to take on more at home.

        I work (and earn) way more than him, so even with a perfect 50-50% chore split I am likely to be still be much more overworked than him. While I wish he’d do more, or better yet different work (more of the stupid everyday stuff) and I sometimes succumb to whining online over chores (usually when I am just exhausted), I think we are ultimately doing OK. He’s a good guy, a good dad, and a good husband, and chores aren’t everything.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        Oh, it doesn’t generally matter how the outside commenter suggests it. Demanding is one possibility. But there’s also the women who say their husbands can’t do anything right (especially common with cooking), and suggesting that the husbands just need practice doesn’t go over well. And suggesting instead of criticizing how dishes are put in the dishwasher just to ignore it so long as the dishes are still clean… also doesn’t go over well. Suggesting the baby will like the husband more if it spends more time with him, also, not a good move.

        Granted there’s also the women who never even thought to ask DH to do anything because their moms also did all the work and it seems weird for the husband to lift a finger… sometimes they don’t bite your head off.

        In any case, we don’t actually care what anybody’s household situation is (so long as there’s no actual abuse), as long as we don’t have to hear the same complaints over and over and over without any effort to say, fix the problem. Double negative points if they decide to make things worse by, for example, taking DH off laundry duty when he turns a load of whites pink or shrinks a sweater.

  2. Debbie M Says:

    Oh, oh, I want you reading my blog whenever I’m doing #5 (complaining about the same thing over and over and then sabatoging myself). Of course I like to think I’m never doing #5 (don’t we all?), but if I am, I do want to hear about it.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      hm, haven’t checked your blog in a while… should do that…

      • Debbie M Says:

        Uh-oh. :-)

        I was going to warn you that my blog has been boring lately, but I checked and there are a few funny bits. So maybe you won’t regret this plan.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        I don’t know how you can jog in this weather.

      • Debbie M Says:

        Ha! It still gets below 80 in the morning. And I am still extremely slow. And I wear a hat. And the house is as hot as my roommate can stand it, which feels uncomfortable cool to me (when I’m just sitting around the house), so it feels good when I get home and take a shower.

  3. Jacq Says:

    Saying or implying that a life choice is somehow a more moral choice bugs me to no end. The adamantly child-free people seem to be that way.
    The only post where I got angry and said something recently was comments on a GRS post where the couple were saving about 25% (which I think is a really good number to aim at for younger people) and everyone was like “sell your car!” with no knowledge of their other goals.
    People who post that single parenthood => guaranteed poverty tends to drive me nuts. Although I admit that I’m an anomaly.
    People who get their facts wrong (it wasn’t a COOKIE experiment, it was a MARSHMALLOW!!) Did you even read the study??? But mostly I don’t read those kinds of rah-rah under-educated bloggers.
    Here’s a good post on that study:

    http://drdavewalsh.com/posts/154

    People who seem to believe that at 25 or 35 they’ll have the same perspective at 45 or 55. Like “oh, I never want to retire/take time off and be useless.” Well kiddo, wait until you’ve been in the workforce 30 years, have spent most of your free time putting in OT, raising kids and taking care of a house, have some other life goals that you really want to devote some serious time to and then maybe we’ll talk. Generally, if you’re driven enough to attempt FI at a relatively young age, you’re a highly ambitious person that doesn’t just want to sit around watching TV in a vegetative state.
    People who are still angry about something that happened many years ago (eg. divorce, bad parents) and are really hurting their children and themselves by holding on to that anger. Or am I just assuming that my method of letting go is a “One True Path”? :-)
    Overall, I wouldn’t take the time to comment since it doesn’t do any good anyway.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      #2 is adamantly child-free but she loves other people’s children. :)

      In defense of the cookie people, there’s a college-level classroom exercise that does something similar with cookies instead of marshmallows. I ran one of them in grad school in a class I was TAing.

      In terms of single parenthood, empirically there’s a little mode of high-income educated people like yourself, though usually they’re single parents by choice in their late 30s, early 40s with high powered careers. In that sense, you are an anomaly!

      I suspect I’ll still want to work at 45 or 55, but the life of a tenured professor is in many ways capturing a lot of what financial independence does. Empirics support me here with professors retiring much later, on average, than most other professions.

      • Debbie M Says:

        The facutly I worked for (back when I was a typist) generally just quit doing the two roles they didn’t like (generally service and either teaching or research–usually teaching) and they were called emeritus. They kept doing the one role they really liked as long as they physically could.

    • Donna Freedman Says:

      Yes, this. I’ve spent years and years on a dead run. Now that I’ve cut back to part-time writing (“only” three times a week at MSN Money, plus my own site and freelancing for magazines) I’m beginning to understand that retirement could be a good thing.
      Specifically, it would allow DF and me the chance to spend more time together, to take on fun projects, to linger over gardening and food prep instead of rushing through them.
      It’s not that I want to quit writing. I probably never will. But sometimes I think it would be soooo nice to turn in only one assignment a week, or no assignments if that’s what I felt like. Not yet financially secure enough to jump off the treadmill, though.

      • Jacq Says:

        I think it’s unfortunate that so many bloggers are in their 20’s and 30’s – and they tend to be the ones that are the most popular (and they tend to be more sure that their way is right – when time may not prove that to be true). There’s a “silent generation” out there of 50+ that needs to be heard.
        There’s a lot of wisdom out there from the older ones…

        http://www.farnamstreetblog.com/2013/06/30-lessons-for-living/

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        There are a lot of 50+retirement bloggers out there… they just seem to be less likely to post on say, GRS. Occasionally I’ll stumble on a blogroll that is full of them. I don’t know how many of them there are, but they’re definitely out there! I think Frugal Texas Gal is one place they get linked from, but I can’t remember for sure. Graceful retirement has a few. I don’t know how much they rank in terms of popularity… it’s just not a circle I tend to frequent. I suspect some of the travel the world blogs I’ve seen linked to are pretty popular.

    • Mutant Supermodel Says:

      I miss you Jacq! And you’ve shut down your blog now? :( I haz a sad

  4. GMP Says:

    I am working on becoming less judgmental in general, IRL and blog-life.

    Also, I have a very low tolerance for being talked down to, it probably has to do with being surrounded by men all freakin’ time. But, have also been told that I can sound condescending myself, even when I have no such intention, so it may be that my condescension-meter is all over the place. Anyway, I am training myself not to respond.

    I am a very impatient person; on the upside, that makes me very proactive about getting stuff done in general; on the downside, I sometimes pull the trigger on things way too soon or jump on things when I should just chill, and I can generally be an intense pain in the butt. Consequently, the thing that ticks me off probably more than anything else in others is indecisiveness. There are a lot of people who act as if they are going to live a million years and there is plenty of time to make a decision, so they just postpone it or even pretend there is no decision to be made, ignore the problem and hope it goes away. I have a few such people in my real life and it drives me positively ballistic. I try to avoid those I can, and those I can’t — I try to keep myself very, very busy with other stuff while I wait for them to make up their goddamn minds. Takes my mind off wanting to shake the decision out of them, violently.

    I don’t mind people whining online, maybe because I do it to. Whining serves different purposes for different people. Sometimes it’s to vent, take the pressure off. Sometimes, people really have their hands tied even if it may not seem so to someone else. Someone, people honestly do not think or believe that things can be changed, even though others see a clear path to change; empathy and patience are probably key here. Sometimes, people know what they need to do and will do it in their own time, when they are ready; in the meantime, they whine to process what they need to do in order to make the change, as it takes time and courage; whining can be part of talking yourself into doing what you know you need to do. And there are those, as you say, who just won’t do what’s best for them and are even willing to dig themselves deeper into $hit to prolong the drama and collect whatever emotional reward this brings them; I agree that those are lost causes, as should simply be avoided. But, it’s sometimes hard to tell which is which, especially online, where we only see tiny glimpses of the lives of others.

    Overall, in recent months, I have been generally trying to comment only when I can say something positive/supportive or something neutral. As Laura says, life is too short.

  5. rented life Says:

    I used to leave comments on posts/blogs that really bothered me but I’ve stopped mostly. I start to type, realize I don’t really want to hear what the author has to say in response and I stop. And usually I stop reading their blog too. It started when a very popular blog attacked me for a book suggestion I left for her kid. (If you don’t want books you might not like, don’t ask for ideas. And stop seeing phallic symbolism everywhere.) I was out right attacked for leaving my comment and promptly stopped reading. I remember that every time I comment now–will this person respond reasonably or attack? If I feel the latter, I don’t comment. No longer worth the stress.

  6. Cloud Says:

    Hmmm, I was sure I could come up with something that would make me go snarky in a comment, but I can’t really. I did get in that rather silly argument about prostitution once, but I don’t think I got snarky. That is not because I don’t think snark is sometimes warranted. I just don’t do it particularly well, and in general, I get involved in online discussions to learn something (or, less frequently, to help someone else learn something)- and snark generally gets in the way of that.

    I think the closest I have come was when someone posted an excerpt and a link to one of my posts, and someone in the comments took offense at it, wondering whether “he also did X, Y, Z.” And I was really, really mad that this commenter assumed I was male and left a borderline snarky comment stating that I was in fact female, and why did the commenter assume otherwise?

    I generally avoid things that are most likely to set me off. Like @Jacq, that means I click away from most threads with active involvement for the aggressively child-free. I am 100% cool with people not having kids for whatever reason. But we were all children once, so bragging about how much you despise the very existence of other people’s kids just grates on me.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I cannot remember if I completely avoided saying anything on that prostitution post on Blue Milk because it was so gawd awful (including the comments), or if snark came out. I think I avoided it, but definitely remembered it and became a lot less inclined to click on a link to her blog.

  7. Holly@ClubThrifty Says:

    #6!!!! If another PF blogger lectures me about how not riding my bike everywhere makes me a lazy cow I’m going to flip the *F* out!!! I seriously cannot take it anymore. It’s okay to drive sometimes. It’s okay.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

      YES.

    • Linda Says:

      This! Yes, I enjoy running errands on my bike or walking or on public transit, but there are limits. If it will take me twice as long and time is in short supply (which it is most week days and some weekends), I will drive. Or if I am planning to transport stuff that is very hard to do on a bike, I will drive. Last weekend when I went to the farmers market to get a flat of strawberries for freezing and jam…that was in the car. I couldn’t imagine transporting a flat of strawberries on the el, bus, or bike. It was exhausting enough carrying it three blocks to the car! (Plus taking the car allowed me to also transport a couple bags of leaves from last fall to my friend who needed them for her compost.) Phew!

      • Holly@CubThrifty Says:

        Yes, exactly Linda. Sometimes I just need to go to the store to get a few things without making it into a huge ordeal. I don’t have time to tuck the kids in a cart and spend an hour biking there and back to get dog food or whatever. Time is a scarce resource around here….even now that I work from home!

        Plus, I just hate being lectured about it….especially when someone who is retired lectures that everyone should commute by bike to work. It’s really easy to say that when you don’t actually do it every day. Plus, being retired means you probably have time to take an hour to go to the store to get a gallon of milk or whatever.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        Well, obviously it’s your fault for not living the One True Way. If you were, you’d be retired too! Only because self-employment really is retirement, you must just be working too hard if you can’t take an hour to get a gallon of milk. And also you should be living in a nice climate with a big house, because that’s the One True Way.

      • Jacq Says:

        The Onion had an article related to this today:

        http://www.theonion.com/articles/us-citizenry-admits-it-could-kind-of-go-for-charis,32880/

        “There’s just something kind of nice about throwing your hands up and letting a tyrannical demagogue tell you what to do, where to go, and how to think…It would be a huge load off to just give in to a megalomaniacal despot’s grand, stirring rhetoric and no longer be burdened with having to engage in any critical thought whatsoever.”

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        hahaha, we have an unfinished blog post titled, “people like being told what to do”

      • Holly@ClubThrifty Says:

        In my neck of the woods, the one true way is whatever the hell I want it to be. And it’s not like I’m commuting 40 miles both ways in a Hummer. I have a hybrid vehicle so I feel that I am doing my part for the environment and gas prices or whatever else people are pissed about. Sometimes I just drive my kids around aimlessly with their DVD player on so they’ll shut up for a while. My life. My rules. =)

        And who cares.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        I think it’s hilarious that you must Ride a Bike but you also must have a huge House. Environmentally, isn’t that kind of the glass houses throwing stones kind of thing? People should be able to make their own trade-offs. Also, for some reason the big car is ok for frequent long road-trips, just not for the grocery store. Instead you must bike in snow, sleet, hail, and high temps to get that milk. But you still should take really long road-trips in your big vehicle. Because, you know, One True Way. Kinda that latte factor vs. large purchases thing… some of us would rather have the small wedding and the housecleaning or the smaller house and the daily lattes. Or some other trade-off.

        We have one hybrid and one tiny car. (And don’t vacation much.)

      • Holly@ClubThrifty Says:

        Futhermore, the blog in question deleted a few of my comments on the subject and actually EDITED ONE OF MY COMMENTS which made me really mad.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        WOW. You should totes do a blog post on that, I bet it would get a lot of hits! You can phrase it as a discussion– should blog owners be able to edit blog comments? Maybe even throw out the pros and cons.

        We sometimes edit comments for spelling errors. We can’t always help it. A compulsion.

        And very occasionally we’ll get an anonymous commenter who has a teeny tiny penis. When that happens, we rename him, “tiny penis man” and change his comments to being about his insecurity about his size. But that’s generally pretty obvious. Scalzi has started doing the same thing only with kittens and puts a link to the explanation on how people get kittened. We’ll probably do that in the future too.

      • Holly@ClubThrifty Says:

        Oh yes, a blog post is in order. I will title it “Deleting blog comments is for pussies.”
        I have never deleted anything other than spam and I think that those who delete comments (or edit them) should just turn their comments off. If you only want a one-sided discussion than have it with yourself.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        We delete harassing comments (threats of physical violence, for example) and those that use racial/gender epithets.

      • Holly@ClubThrifty Says:

        And that is understandable. However, most bloggers would never delete someone’s comment simply because they disagreed with them. I think that’s lame.

      • Jacq Says:

        http://www.fatwallet.com/forums/finance/1270289/?start=80

        pox3 got a pretty innocuous comment deleted as well.
        Major respect to Steve’s (sgogo) comment esp. re censoring and the kind of community/following it creates.

      • Holly@ClubThrifty Says:

        I just read that thread. That is the exact type of comments of mine that have been deleted. I’ve never said anything crazy…I’ve just presented an alternative view and my comments have been subsequently deleted. I thought it was just going into their spam for some reason UNTIL one of my comments was edited. Then it just didn’t make sense. Now I realize that they just delete the comments that they don’t like.

      • Dame Eleanor Hull Says:

        “Scalzi has started doing the same thing only with kittens and puts a link to the explanation on how people get kittened.”
        The feline takeover of the Internet is nearly complete.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        re: feline takeover: As well it should!

      • Debbie M Says:

        Thanks for cracking me up y’all. (I also delete comments, but only if they are spam. I haven’t had to delete a real comment yet–the benefits of having almost no readers!)

  8. chacha1 Says:

    During my first 12-18 months dabbling in the blogosphere I was more inclined to engage. But these days, I try to only comment on posts written by people who have written more than one post I found of interest – or whose entire blog is set up to be interesting to someone like me, e.g. “Not of General Interest” – and whose subject matter is not trigger material (not partisan politics, not religion).

    Now that I am a little wiser and much older, the idea of voluntarily getting into some kind of fracas in what is essentially an anonymous and consequence-free environment striked me as … unevolved. If someone who seems redeemable makes an error of fact, I may try to correct it. But if I just disagree with someone, I *usually* just walk away.

    I had one commenter (and mine is a very lightly-read blog!) who went totally apeshit over something I wrote … comment after comment saying how I was wrong wrong wrong and how dare I say such things and how dare I not correct my post based on what she said … I had to block her eventually, it went on for days.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Ah, you are so wise and so mature! Hopefully some day we, too, will reach enlightenment. (Though, what did that Australian general say? The level you walk away from is the level you accept?)

      We read your blog! Did she not like the cat pictures? Or was this a disagreement about dancing or gardening or books?

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      oh! Maybe it was the same person with eating issues who took personal offense to some stuff we said after gushing about how wonderful it was. Flipped out onna dime. We had to block her too. Some people are crazy.

      • chacha1 Says:

        It was a gal who had lost 100 pounds by lifting heavy weights. She violently disagreed with a post of mine concerning using *light* weights to establish & maintain a fitness baseline. Def. a little crazy methinks. I mean, that’s pretty innocuous stuff.

        In a sense “walking away from” is a tacit acceptance. But that is part of my yoga practice. Of all the stuff in the world, I can affect only a tiny, tiny, fraction. Being overly attached to all the things in the world I cannot affect – and that do not affect me – is a recipe for misery.

        While I sometimes write advicey posts, and I participate in a forum that is concerned with personal change, I cannot actually effect change in a random stranger on the Internet. I may help someone work through an issue they are having, but they have to be in a receptive place and we have to know a little bit about each other.

        Trying to do so via a commentroversy would really only be me trying to be right. It’s attachment to an illusory concept.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        But so cathartic!

      • chacha1 Says:

        After a certain point, I did not find it cathartic, just frustrating and pointless. ;-) But I am older than you! I had more fire in my belly 10 years ago.

  9. Linda Says:

    I lack the ability to come up with snappy/snarky comments. Plus I’m really tired of life being so full of negativity and tearing each other down. Enough!

    Re: #5, maybe I’m too much of a softy, but sometimes I think that it can take people a while to see patterns in their life or figure out that they really are putting themselves in the situations they don’t like. Sometimes this happens with people in the #3 example, too.

    I know it takes me a while to figure out what’s been going on in my brain sometimes. Like the other night when I got a call from my dad and after it was over something clicked in my head about why I’ve been avoiding my parents lately. Oh!

    Many years of therapy still haven’t helped me figure myself out completely, so sometimes I talk/think/write about things that could be understood by others who are sitting outside my head as situations I put myself in or have created for myself. Oh!

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      You are a better person than we are. In our defense, it’s mostly pf stuff we’re talking about in that respect… buying a house or throwing a huge expensive wedding with 0% down and going on that extended travel vacation you know you deserve when you have huge credit card debt and student loans that you’re always complaining about and you hate your job but you can’t afford to quit or even look around and so on. And, of course, even though you make more than either of us does, it’s not your fault that you can’t make ends meet. (Not you, Linda, that is, the hypothetical “you.” We know you’re good with the $$.)

  10. First Gen American Says:

    The main thing that will draw the edgy comment out of me is when someone proliferates bad information. Double negative points when its about science. Triple negative points when its about science and they don’t even have their bad science facts straight. (Like citing the wrong chemicals when talking about how toxic something is). Ugh..makes me want to wring necks.

    • chacha1 Says:

      Those are the ones I REALLY have to just walk away from. People who write like that don’t want to be educated. They just want people to confirm their beliefs.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        There’s also the question, though, of the other readers. When things are allowed to stand, that can change culture. It isn’t necessarily the poster, but the random readers. Delagar had a good post todayish about her daughter telling people to stop making rape jokes. I’ve seen vaccination beliefs change among the marginal folks when someone speaks up about how they’re important or who challenges the pseudoscience, especially if it’s a regular person.

      • chacha1 Says:

        That’s a good point. In the situation of a factually-iffy post that was on a blog by someone who is generally reasonable, I might feel compelled to put my oar in just because the readers on that blog might be amenable to some fact-checking – even if the author is not entirely so.

        I don’t mind having my own facts checked!

    • First Gen American Says:

      PS. It’s nice to see the tide turning back around on vaccinations. Too bad it took whooping cough to come back to do it. I think technical people should speak up when they know better.

  11. Revanche Says:

    Such good advice from Donna’s sister. Sometimes my rage meter can’t take it and I snap at stuff like people saying “All people in X group are terrible because…” or when comments left for me suggest that poor people are by-god bringing down the property values (recent thingy). And of course MRA type stuff bothers me, along with bloggers who beat the same “woe is me but I mock people who make stupid mistakes just like I do b/c I deserve better but they’re dumb.” I’ve managed to avoid the latter for the most part but all of the other three bring out The Grouch in me.

  12. oilandgarlic Says:

    Hmmm…it takes a lot for me to leave a snarky remark. I think I can do it more in-person and online. Anyone who is not open-minded or bashes working mothers get me very annoyed. I remember Penelope Trunk’s blog annoying me a lot, so I don’t read that anymore. It’s not that I don’t enjoy reading other viewpoints but some forums/blogs are too black and white for me. Ditto for Mr. Money Mustache.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I’m kind of triggered by any mother bashing, whether working or sahm or whatever, so long as the mother in question is not actually harming her children. It’s all, MYOB and take care of your own life, thankyouverymuch, just because someone has kids doesn’t give you the right to dictate what they do with their lives. That person’s kids are going to turn out just fine. Also, why not some equal opportunity dad-bashing?

      But I think I do see more of that bashing in the area of working mothers than SAHM. Not sure why.

  13. Mutant Supermodel Says:

    Sometimes I think of creating an alter ego just for the purpose of writing what I really want to say. I’m wimpy that way.


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