Eeeeeeeeemail

Makin up a song about email in a chat log

#1:  my brain is exploding with email, I don’t understand
whyyyyyy
whyyyyyyy so much email

#2:  why are you getting so much email?
who is sending it?

#1:  many peeps

#2:  networking peeps?

#1:  all sorts of peeps. Some is forwarded from [university]. Some is colleagues. Some is friends, some is listserv, some is “your order has shipped”, some is my mom

#2:  “your order has shipped” is always nice.  Does your mom have an unsubscribe button?

#1:  hahaha unsubscribe mom from sending me stuff she thought I might like that is either irrelevant or I thought about it 3 years ago. Sigh.

[begin music]

My password expires in 30 days…. would you please allow us to use your stimuli (sure!), would you like to read these books or attend this sale or be a co-author, the conference information has changed….. eeeeeemail.

The third co-author needs to talk to you, here is your lease, here is the name of a headhunter, our baby is cute….. eeeeeeemail.

(Bridge:  Here’s your receipt; would you mind taking this survey?)

Your review is due, someone’s changing their email address, times for riding….  eeeeeeeeemail.

Sing it with me, y’all!  (#2 also has 200+ emails to go through right now…)

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Before and after: Housing edition

Before:  big, cheap, stupid, and located in hell

After:  small, expensive, smart, nice and in walking distance to everything– restaurants, parks, shopping, grocery stores, public transportation, THE LIBRARY

I think Imma need these.  You put them under your bed frame legs to get your bed up higher so you can store more stuff under there.   I have some plastic drawers that I can stick under there.  I might get some cardboard ones for sweaters (so they can breathe). or I might put books under there. Or general stuffas! I feel like “random crap” should maybe go in there rather than valuable shelving. Good times, good times

Downsizing sucks.  It’s work. Boring and tedious.

That’s it.

I refuse to talk anymore about apartments. You don’t even know how burned out I am.  It’s MY apartment and even I’m tired of it.

I have one.  It’s nice.  Though I won’t really know how nice it is until we’ve lived there for a while.

The end.

Next up:   I refuse to talk about moving.

How does your toilet paper roll?

My first roommate that I shared a bathroom with took me aside one day, exasperated, and told me I was putting toilet paper rolls back all wrong.  I’d been flipping them under without even thinking about it, possibly because that’s what they do at my house.  My family has always been a bit different (my father is an immigrant), so I figured I wasn’t doing it the American way or something.

The next year, I had a different roommate.  After a few weeks of conscientiously making sure the toilet paper was flipped over when I put in a new roll, I noticed the toilet roll flipped under.  So I asked my roommate about it, and she said not only had she been putting in rolls flipped under herself, but she’d been changing my rolls because I was *doing them wrong* and found it seriously annoying but didn’t want to bring it up with me.

The next two roommates I had, I brought up this question the first day because I figured this was something I didn’t care much about, but a lot of people have strong feelings about it.  (Me, I’m just happy that the roll gets replaced at all!)  They both thought I was crazy for even thinking about it.  (And indeed, with them, sometimes the roll would be over, and sometimes under, almost at random.)

How about you?  Is this something you have strong feelings about?  Are there other kinds of habits like this where your way is the right way but other people do it wrong?  (Squeezing toothpaste from the bottom is my hobby horse.)

Useless skills

I’m terrible at remembering names.  Absolutely terrible.  To make up for that, I have a superior memory in some pretty useless areas.

I can remember things I’ve eaten.  Like, if you ask me what I had at a restaurant a year ago, I can remember that.  Often I can also remember what everybody else had too.  And sometimes how much each item cost.

I can remember where I read a specific book (in the bathroom, in the tub, on the couch, in my in-laws’ basement etc.).  Not what the book was about mind you, just where I read it.

I can also remember how many comments there were on a post the last time I checked it.  (Maybe this isn’t so useless if it saves a click?  Though usually it doesn’t really because I just hit reload if the number hasn’t changed.  You know, just in case.)

Do you have any completely useless superpowers?

RBOQ

Wandering Scientist (aka Cloud) has mentioned that age 7 is questioning age for her daughter.  DC1 is also in on it.  As with Cloud, we’ve had lengthy conversations about race and inequality and gay marriage and so on in the past few months.  Here’s some other random conversation starters.

  • What is gummi bear juice made of?  (Answer:  it is a secret!)  Why do gummi bears bounce?  (Answer:  Gummi berry juice!)  Yeah, but why?  For what purpose?  (Answer:  Um, maybe we should hook you up with some of the cartoon episodes on youtube…) There was a tv show?  (Answer:  Yes, that’s where the song came from.)
  • How much pee do you have?  How could we measure it?  How much water is in the pee?
  • How do people make so many cars?
  • Why do people mostly have multiple [significant others] before they get married?  Why didn’t daddy?  Why didn’t you know what love is until you met daddy?  Why is the type of love you have for your parents different than for daddy?  Is the type of love for us different? How many types of love are there?
  • Why is Boston so big?  Why do people live in cities?  Why is there more stuff in cities?
  • Do you wish you could be daddy?

In which #1 tries to cajole #2 into blogging about her move

#1: We don’t have much in the blog queue. A bunch of ask the grumpies though, so we’re set on Fridays for a few weeks. I put a book review on Monday, but there are many other Mondays ahead if you feel like doing something monetary.
#2: I dunno bout money.
#1: Well, anything to do with the move and career is money, because career is money. And quality of life can be money.
#2: Hm. I’ll think about it.
#1: I bet our readers want to know what’s up with you, even things you find boring.
#2: We don’t really know what we’re doing right now anyway
#1: you can post about that
#2: sometimes we have a serious talk, and then sex.
#1: I don’t think they need to hear about the sex
#2: (sometimes we have sex without the talk beforehand, too)
#1: it would be sad if you only had sex after serious talks. I’d be like, let’s talk about global warming.
#2: I’ll warm your globes, baby!

Also…

#2 would like to espouse the opinion that moving is the MOST TEDIOUS of all things and it even bores ME, and I’m the one doing it.  Oof!

What do you all want to know about #2’s current situation given that she’s quit her job, recovered from pneumonia, and is in the process of scheduling a move, finding a new job, and reinventing herself?  (Note that talking about the logistics of moving makes her seriously grumpy– speaking from experience.)  Please keep it PG-rated.

The Lawn

We have a corner lot and a big lawn.  We get nasty letters from the HOA from time to time.

In the past we’ve had a full-service lawn company (until we moved in ourselves– they were super expensive), mowers every 2 weeks, mowers every week, DH using the manual mower (big muscles!), DH using the gas mower…

We started out with one kind of grass, but now the Bermuda has moved in.  That means it has to be mowed once a week or the Bermuda heads start showing.  And the manual push mower doesn’t get the stupid Bermuda head seeds.

Drought has also done a number on our lawn, killing shade trees and trees that were meant to become shade trees.

DH now doesn’t have enough time to work as much as he wants, spend as much time with his family as he wants, and take care of the yard.  And taking care of the yard used to be a family affair, but as the years have gone by, my grass allergies have gotten so bad that I really just can’t.  I’ve tried, but even the smallest touch of grass (and many other green things) results in major hives.  I’m not much help.

We got a recommendation for a new lawn person.  He quoted $500 for a full yard cleanup (which it needs– bushes need trimming, flower beds need weeding and mulching) and $50/week for mowing and edging.  $50/week is a bit high, even for our massive lawn.  When he was talking to DH he said that would include weed maintenance in the flowerbeds, which might make it reasonable, but he didn’t write that on the estimate form.

We spent literally hundreds of dollars every month in the summer to keep the lawn watered and it still doesn’t do great.  DH spends hours every month fixing and replacing sprinkler heads.  We’ve called around and can’t find a sprinkler place that does drip irrigation.  They say the soil here makes it wrong, or something.  But that can’t be true because the city nearby has the same soil and there are people there who do drip irrigation.

It may be time to seriously consider xeriscaping.  We have a couple recommended xeriscapers in town (we called into the local gardening radio show to ask!).  It’s possible that xeriscaping the lawn would pay for itself pretty quickly given the costs of yard clean-up, mowing, and watering.  I don’t know.  Problems:  1. The HOA may not approve.  2.  We may still be stuck with a weeding nightmare because the weeds here are insane.  3.  We’re kind of on a hill (very small hill) which means the lawn isn’t conducive to just being paved over.  (DH has always wanted plaza.)  4.  If we ever move or go on sabbatical, the xeriscaped lawn might be a liability (and we’ll have a hard time pulling it out and replacing it with sod after all the expense of putting it in).  5.  $$$.  (I’m not sure how much, but it sounds like a lot!)  There are very few xeriscaped lots in our town and they’re mostly small (not corner) lots with lots of mature trees providing huge shade cover.

Anyway, I don’t know what to do.  The lawn is a huge hassle.  We hate it.  We hate taking care of it.  We hate paying people to accidentally mow down our bushes and trees and then over-charge us for the privilege of doing so.  We’re worried about the expense and outcome and time spent trying to re-design everything.  *Sigh*.

So, that’s my lawn rant.  Thoughts?

My ideal house and a weird/fun website

I have complained before about the difficulty of having a house in a 4-season climate (even worse when you rent, not own, and/or when all the available properties in an area are shoddily built!).  I have moved since I wrote that, and the new place is definitely better.  However, the HVAC system is in no way balanced between the upstairs and downstairs.  In my dream world, I live in a house with correctly-balanced temperature control zones and better insulation and larger eaves, especially on the side of the house where it always rains into the windows.

I found this interesting (?) website called truehome.net.  I have many opinions about interior designs, but a lot of them are surface-level that wouldn’t play into buying a home.  For example, if the flooring’s not ideal, that can be changed pretty easily.  Anyway, truehome asked me to describe my ideal home in detail, and here’s what I wrote:

Built-in bookshelves EVERYWHERE!  Comfortable, supportive seating.  Lots of places to sleep and be cozy.  Bathrooms with separate tub & shower (deep soaker tub, no jets).  Shower does not require curtain or door (nautilus).  Toilet next to sink.  Gas stove.  Areas to be together but also lots of privacy and sound isolation.  Garage.  No-maintenance yard.  Well-insulated with a well-balanced HVAC system and zones of climate control.  Fireplace.  At least 2 bathrooms.  No HOA.  Hardwood floors.  Maybe 4BR.  No dogs nearby!  Near or in the city.  Not modern, not minimalist: comfortable.  Not country.  Colors on walls.  Efficiency, low-maintenance, green.  Comfortable, safe, easy, lovely.  High ceilings in main living areas.  Cabinets I can actually reach.  Big closets.  Maybe a courtyard.  Privacy is a high priority for me.

(#2 likes modern and minimalist and dislikes fireplaces, also prefers neutral walls.  The rest sounds great.)

Then it also had fun questions where you could pick out which castle you wanted, and the reasons you need it.  My answers to “Why do I need a castle?” included the multiple-choice options:  My servants are bored.  I identify with eccentric Bavarian kings.  Everyone needs a moat.  I like how this house is protected from pirates.

Readers, why do you need a castle?

Mutual fund taxes: Lessons learned

Every year I learn a little bit more about investing that I often wish I didn’t know.

Why?  Well, back in the day, my father took care of my investments and he’s really into complicated stuff.  Each year I can generally only handle untangling one crazy thing.  (I think I’m going to have one share of AOL for ETERNITY.  How?  I had AOL, then it became TWC, then it split off again, so now I have a bunch of TWC, some other Turner/Time Warner company, and one lonely AOL share.  Figuring out the cost-basis on that share is a really low priority.  Update:  And now Comcast is buying TWC… that’ll be fun.)

This year I learned that mutual funds can generate capital gains without your knowledge, and they don’t give you the money but instead they reinvest it, buying more shares of the fund.  This particular capital gain hasn’t done any such thing since like 1994 (before I was paying attention), so the $4K capital gain was a surprise.  I immediately groaned and wished I’d given these funds to the school instead of cash back when my dad was donating money to the school, but I was worried about dealing with that paperwork then too.  Or that I’d taken leave from the school when DH was unemployed so that I could claim a 15% marginal tax rate and sell every single one of those tangled up funds.  (Or better yet, taken a capital loss on all of them when the markets were down during the recession!)  If only I were more organized and not still learning in the past.

But, it turns out that paying capital gains taxes now on mutual funds isn’t such a horrible thing.  The tax I pay now will reduce my tax bill in the future when I actually sell the whole thing.  So it may be best not to donate these shares to charity.  (I probably have some QQQQ with a higher capital gain anyway.  QQQQ has been good to me.)

Still, this mutual fund has a 1% expense ratio, and I think it’s just a large cap fund, so I should get rid of it one of these days anyway since I can get large cap from Vanguard much less expensively.

So anyway.  None of our readers probably cares about this, but hey.  Stick with Vanguard index funds or Target date funds and you’ll be fine.  Stay away from needless and expensive complications!

And so say I.

A review of this library that you might not even know is here

There is kind of a “stealth” library really near where I live.  It is part of the county system, not the city system, so I didn’t know about it until I walked in looking for a place to work on my laptop.   It looks like a secret from the parking lot.

It turns out to be a pretty good place to work if I’m feeling done with the coffee shop for the day.

It’s quiet, with just enough noise to not be creepy.  It has lots of places to sit, including this:

bookcase fakeout

Facilities include study rooms, a computer room, and a surprisingly decent collection of graphic novels.  I started a new series while I was there, and I’m planning to go back for 2 more.

Near a sofa is a vase with some yarn and a pair of knitting needles in it.

In the back is a huge classroom with kid- and adult-sized chairs.  I don’t know what classes are held there.

It has carrells, an enclosed children’s room where they can make some noise, and a “Christmas tree” made out of old encyclopedia volumes (it was summer when I went).

If you get bored you can wander around and look at all the pocket pets they have distributed throughout the library in little cages: tiny tree frogs, a guinea pig, gerbil, bearded dragon, gecko, dove, koi.

As you may be gathering, it’s much bigger than it looks from the outside, as well as having good a/c and wireless access.  On the somewhat sad side, there are surprisingly fewer books than I think it needs (the shelves are not full and there is room for a lot more of them).

There are some “honor books” by the front that you can take without checking out and return whenever.  I haven’t checked out their bookstore yet.

It’s really doing a pretty decent job overall!  It sort of looks like they have not grown into their huge space yet, though they have been there at least 3 years.

This review does you no good, Grumpeteers, but it amuses us.  #2 adds:  What do you like about your favorite library?  What would your dream library have?

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