Google may not have all the answers, but we do

Q:  how do you pay for a phd when you have a family

A:  You don’t.  The PhD needs to pay you or you shouldn’t get it.  (Assuming you’re asking this question because you don’t have enough money, not that you’re asking which trust fund you should sell in order to keep up with your lifestyle while you’re away from being a middle-manager at daddy and mummy’s company.)

Q:  list 10 interview questions to ask her mother like about school life, etc

A:  Seriously, kid, if you’re trying to cheat on your homework now for these low-ball, no-wrong-answer sort of things, you’re going to be a huge PITA when you hit college.  Instead of asking the internet, sit down with a pencil and paper and just think about this a little bit. What kinds of questions would be interesting to you?

Q:  can la people tell youre from the midwest?

A:  People in LA will ask you where you’re from and all sorts of invasive questions before they have a chance to figure out you’re from the midwest based on your tells.

Q:  why does my husband feel bad for living a better life than his parents

A:  Was he raised Catholic?

Q:  how to teach someone not to take things that are not theirs

A:  If this someone is over the age of say, 4, you should probably seek professional help on this question.  For ages 4 and under, gently say, “No, this is X’s [thing].  We don’t take other people’s stuff.”

Q:  the inlaws got new carpet so no one got thr usual chridtmad money?

A:  Good for them!  You know, that money is a gift, not an entitlement.  You should not be expecting it.

Q:  how to make my face look friendly

A:  Probably not permanent makeup

Q:  how to transform the mean priming to percentual

A:  Um.  Math?

Q:  if you have a masters in accounting does that make you a phd

A:  No.

Q:  how do gifted students cope with stupid kids

A:  They grow up and write snarky blogs.

It’s a long way down to the bottom of the LINK LOVE

this site is so interesting

A Brooklyn Boy at the Library

Poor Dr. Notorious.

Tips for the library book sale, from perennial favorite Book Riot: pro tip:  don’t click on their “Book Fetish” series of posts or you will lose your entire afternoon!

seems right to me

so much this

When can you shoot a student?

Somewhat touching.  Also parenting in the eldrich realm

We cannot wait!  Though our waistlines will probably suffer.  In moderation!

I was about to send you that cartoon! That exact one!  Also.

chris kluwe continues to be cool

hahahaha oops

Obvious state.

I should download this video.

d’awww

Because you always need more emergency kittens

Gorgeous and worth watching all of:

Ask the grumpies: longest owned item

Debbie M. asks

What one thing have you owned the longest? How have you maintained it?

Hm, I have some of my mom’s books (children’s classics) back from when she was a child.  They maintain pretty well in bookcases or boxed up.  I also have a couple of child-sized wooden rocking chairs.  DH refinished one of them when DC1 accidentally left some water on the seat of one of them.  Embarrassingly I have some white socks from middle school PE.  I know they’re from middle school because they have my name across the toes.  I maintain them by never exercising.

#2 says:

Something I have owned the longest would probably be things I have had since I was a baby, like a blanket and a teddy bear.  These things aren’t “maintained” as such, and they are well-loved.  Somewhere is a picture that my mom’s friend made for me upon the occasion of my birth.  I also have things that belonged to ancestors (such as my great-grandmother’s costume jewelry from 1900s), but I didn’t get these things until I was older.

What about rest of you grumpeteers? 

Emergency office supplies

Keeping emergency supplies at work can help save time and money because you don’t need to go out and buy something more expensive (see: a meal out) and unplanned right when you need time most.  It can also improve your productivity by decreasing discomfort.
#1 and #2 discuss further.
#1: It rained really hard and I got soaked.  The sandals will dry eventually; meanwhile, I’m barefoot in my office
#2:  I have emergency back-up shoes here
#1:  I wish I had socks, but oh well.  I’ll just sit on my feet
#2: :  hm, I seem to have taken my emergency backup cardigan home to get washed
#1:  I have an emergency backup umbrella in my office, which enabled me to give my regular one to a colleague who was heading to class unprotected.  I have a blazer that lives on my office chair in case of chills. I also have tampons, floss, mirror, ibuprofen, etc.

#2:  let’s not forget emergency chocolate!
#1:  almost out of that!  Still good on emergency nuts though
#2:  mmmmmnuts
What contingency supplies do you have in your office?

You know you wanna google it

Q:  who is a good marriage partner for an electrical engineer

A:  Me!

Q:  does tiaa-cref deal in gold?

A:  don’t do itte!

Q: can an emergency room dr. charge a level 3 office copay

A:  probably?

Q:  is love for food a sin

A:  Love for food is not the same as gluttony, which requires over-indulgence (to the point of waste).  So, no.  Also, this would require you to believe in the concept of sin, so…

Q:  by what name we shud call our partner

A:  ask them what name they prefer

Q:  something snart to say to grumpy people

A:  Snart you!

Q:  how to deal with bad grade in grad school

A:  vodka.  (Disclaimer, grumpy rumblings does not promote irresponsible drinking)

Q:  why do people have comforts

A:  Because otherwise we wouldn’t stay alive long enough to reproduce and the human race would die out.

Q:  why im considered authoritative

A:  because of my fancy moustache.

Q:  what are you doing my parents are home

A:  Sorry!  I’ll just move… that… over here.  Yeah.  My bad.

I’ll just put these right here

I have all these cool pics that I was going to add to posts but they don’t seem to fit in places, so… here you go!  Amusing things to look at.

64500_4720549303975_240072075_n

This is so gorgeous and also BOSS

librarian humor

nice sloth

The top part may or may not be true

why is this trueDon’t we all?

Ok, grumpeteers, amuse us!

Dear RBOC,

  • Dear students, The time to ask questions because you’re not keeping up is when I ask, “Any questions?  Has everybody gotten this file open?  If not, I can come over and show you how right now,” especially if I’m walking around the room while I say this.  The time to ask questions is not right after class, especially not, “Could you go through the last 20 min of class again right now because I was never able to get that file open?”
  • p.s.  The time to ask about questions on the homework is not right before it’s due.
  • Dear Students, If you’ve already taken a class on this topic that is more difficult than this intro course and you got an A in it, then yes, you should waive it.  Even if you took that course 2 years ago.  Honest.  You will be bored stiff in this class and you will make everyone who needs to take it nervous.  Seriously, this is a remedial class.  Please waive it!
  • p.s. When your HW says it is due on labor day, and all your friends are saying, “See you on Monday,” it might be a good time to check the school’s academic calendar before taking a three day weekend.  Just sayin’.
  • Dear Colleague, I’m not sure how to respond to your email, “I was talking with an alumni yesterday and he said that you were his favorite professor here, although he is pretty sure he was not one of your favorite students.”  So I think I’ll just delete that.
  • Dear Colleague, if you have someone from NSF visiting campus and you want people to meet with them, you need to tell us before the day on which it’s happening!
  • Dear random mother at the library, you are wrong when you tell your son that the book he picked out himself is too girly and he has to put it back and choose another one instead.  (And then you tell him that the second book he picked out is too difficult.  Why did you let him have the illusion of choice in the first place?)  And no, I don’t feel guilty about judging you on gender issues.

Help me Google, you’re my only hope!

Q:  when did you want another baby

A:  When my first started being able to entertain hirself and to help out around the house.  (Also, DH saw his sibling’s newborn and got baby fever.)  YMMV.

Q:  can i have a gardening business as a second job

A:  Can you have it as a first job?

Q:  reasons you are from the midwest

A:  1.  You were born there;  2. Your parents moved there when you were a child (often for job purposes) and stayed for a while;  3.  Your escape pod from Krypton landed there.

Q:  places for gifted children to hang out on the internet

A:  probably not where I hung out in high school and early college, that’s for sure.

Q:  is it better to have a 403 b or a roth ira?

A:  Both!  If you can swing it.  What do you think your income will be like when you retire?  Would you rather be taxed now or later?

Q:  funny things to say to good looking people

A:  “Madam, I may be drunk but bllllearrrrghhhh.”  –Winston Churchill after too much alcohol

Q:  what will happen if we don’t eat radishes

A:  radishes will overrun us all and start getting all up in our grills.  Please do your part.

Q:  should i buy a home in december

A:  Sure, why not?  (Assuming you have 20% down and can afford a 30 year fixed rate mortgage)

Q:  “pay off mortgage or buy another house”

A:  The former, then the latter, unless you have a lot of money (and the temperament) to play investor.

Q:  nice things to say to your best friend

A:  I couldn’t blog without you!

Ms. Linken-McLoverton

This is seriously the best idea that anyone has ever had: Privacy PopTent
for your bed.

BuzzFeed brings us 17 problems only book lovers will understand.

Planting our Pennies talks about stretching her boundaries and adorable tiny baby turtles.

Surviving academia talks about the benefits of daycare.

Chacha discusses self-publishing.

Not of general interest finds that sometimes charts and lists don’t work.

This page explains why we can’t get amazon affiliates links to work on our blog.

Ann Friedman discusses men and women and empire building.

this is weird

kawaii baby griffin is scared to fly; also funny: Mutual startlement

more grammar fun from the oatmeal.  Do it for the steeds.

I am very glad that my mom has confidence in me.  I can’t imagine how crushing it would be to have her tell me I couldn’t handle both work and kids.

What now’s partner got the job she wanted!

We were an editor’s pick in this week’s carnival of personal finance!

If only Google could show me the way (or at least point me to grumpy rumblings!)

Q:  my marriage is becoming shit, how do i not wallow in misery?

A.  Seek counseling, possibly a divorce, and possibly medication.

Q:  should you only go into academia if you are independently wealthy

A:  No.  One could also be very frugal.  Or in a field that pays well.  Or you could have really low expectations!

Q:  when should an untenured high school teacher have a baby

A:  whenever ze is ready

Q:  can a person have a phd in accounting?

A:  Yes

Q:  what is the salary of an accountant with phd

A:  http://www1.salary.com/Professor-Accounting-Salary.html says the median salary is ~109K for accounting professors.  We can’t vouch for its accuracy.  Presumably those in the private sector make more.

Q:  what you advise people if it was your last day

A:  It is really tempting to tell people what you really think of them… don’t.  If you can possibly help it.

Q:  can the government take your home when you die even if you have a will

A:  We Are Not A Lawyer.  Consult one.  But, probably not.  It depends what you mean by “the government” (see eminent domain, etc.).  If it’s not paid off, the bank can certainly take it!

Q:  how long does it take to furnish an apartment with a kitchen

A:  Anywhere from 1 hour at Ikea to 35 years (and counting).

Q:  what to do after mortgage is paid off

A:  Have a drink, celebrate, take a trip, bulk up your retirement accounts.  Buy a pony (warning:  your HOA may not approve the pony and may then take your house)?

Q:  when will i want baby #2

A:  Next Tuesday.  Or maybe never.  Is never good?

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