My body defies science, or else everyone lies.

Ok what is it with this idea that you are getting enough sleep when you can wake up without an alarm?  Who does that?  Maybe if I set my alarm for 11am!  Even when I go to bed early, and set the alarm for 8 – 9 hours later, the alarm always wakes me up.  What is WITH you people and your freakish lack of need for alarm clocks?  That’s why they make alarm clocks!  Because we need them!  Perhaps if I never had a class or meeting before 2pm then I wouldn’t need an alarm clock.  But seriously!  Getting 8 – 9 hours of sleep is NO guarantee that I will then wake up at the right time.  Ha ha.  I laugh upon your alarm-clock-not-needing!  [#2 does not usually use alarm clocks, and even when she does use them, she usually wakes up before they go off.] [#1 sticks out her tongue at #2.]

I *always* feel groggy when I get up.  And there is nothing wrong with my thyroid [#2, using her armchair internet skillz, suspects it's a difficult to diagnose thyroid problem], I get plenty of vitamin D, I exercise several times per week (which only makes me MORE exhausted, but that’s a separate post).  If I was pulled over on my way to work, I would fail a field sobriety test because I am uncoordinated and usually sleepy at that hour.  I can’t even reliably touch my finger to my nose when stone-cold sober, and I do drive sleepy.  I know I shouldn’t.  But there’s no other way to get to work!  Or, if I’m awake when going TO work, I’m very exhausted when coming home, which leaves the same problem.

Who’s with me?!?!?!?!?

Superstitions

I constantly knock on wood.  I even carry some around with me just in case.  I hope the wood spirits bring me luck.

I throw salt over my shoulder whenever I use some in cooking, or spill some elsewhere.  I want to appease some sort of spirit with that.

There’s a song that whenever I hear it I get bad interpersonal luck.  I hate that song.

I like to think when something bad happens to me, it’s saving up karma for something good in the future.

I cross myself when the airplane takes off.

I believe it is tempting fate to say something like, “I’m all caught up on all my work!”  (Related:  “I have no more referee reports to do.”)

What are your superstitions?  Or are you too rational to have any?

Do we Love Any Links on March 2nd?

Actually, we might not.  In apology for not loving the internet this week, here are some babies eating lemons to take your mind off things:

I think we have some, we just need to go through our gchat records.  Also I liked that gai shan life thing and the thing she linked to.

But I may not get to this until Saturday morning.  Let this be a placeholder!

love the title of this movie review from red eye chicago

*SO* much fatigue  from Jezebel

ooh look, a new post from FGA.  She has been missed!  (to clarify:  We’ve been enjoying her comments, but the posts have been missed.)  Also it’s a really good and insightful post on the emotions surrounding debt freedom– more complicated than you might think.  Single Mom Rich mom also appears to be back and has a related post.

delegar introduces us to gangstagrass.  It is as advertised.

This is an awesome marriage proposal, from yahoo.

This made me literally LOL: Best Short Story About A Robot Learning What It Means To Be Human And Also There’s A Cat #FakeHugoAwardCategories

did you write this post? did I?  It says academic cog wrote it.

I guess… it’s really cold in Norway?  And boring?  via the NY Times

Questions from Mados

Mados gave us a Leibster award and asked:

1. If you were to do a research project (no limitations, all resources provided), what would be its title and subject area?
2. Do you have a formal degree/education – and what is it?
3. What is the worst job you ever had, and why?
4. If you had the chance to travel to another planet and return, which planet would you go to (not considering risk and travel time)?
5. If you and everybody you knew were to leave Earth on a generational spaceship and never return, which 3 words would best summarise your feelings about life on Earth?
6. Who is your favourite author?
7. Have you ever thought of starting, or actually started, your own business – or undertaken freelance work?
8. What is your preferred balance between solitude and socialising (including with close family, but pets don’t count) – as a general ‘rule of thumb’, in percent?
9. How do you prefer to socialise most of the time – Online or Offline?
10. Has blogging helped you to develop as a person or change your life in a positive direction?
11. Which advice would you like to give new bloggers?

That’s a lot of questions.

#1:

1.  “#1′s thoughts on taste-testing ice cream and gelato throughout the world”
2.  PhD
3.  High school internship doing data entry for a geneticist.
4.  I’m fine with Earth, thanks.
5.  Wet.  Skies.  Ground.
6.  How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
7.  I do freelance work when it gets offered to me, which is generally a few times a year.  I don’t usually seek it out.
8.  Depends on if you’re counting work or not.  Without work, 10-20% outside the family.  Including work as socializing, more like 50% outside the family.  If the family counts as socializing then 95%.  I like my family.
9.  I do most socializing online these days, but it depends on who I’m socializing with whether I prefer IRL or online.
10.  Blogging gets me to think deeply about some things I only think shallowly about.  Don’t know if that is good or bad.
11.  Dude, it’s just a blog.  Also:  People who blog about being neurotic get more neurotic so they have something to blog about.  Don’t succumb to Sandra Tsing Loh syndrome.

#2:

1. If you were to do a research project (no limitations, all resources provided), what would be its title and subject area?  “How long would it take #2 to become bored if her only job was to lie around and read novels in between naps?  Followup: How much money would then be necessary to make an academic position comfortable again?”  These are empirical questions.  (#1 pokes in… ooh, I changed my mind, I want the latter!)
2. Do you have a formal degree/education – and what is it?  Ph.D.
3. What is the worst job you ever had, and why?  When I worked in a cubicle at a normal desk job.  It ossified my brain.
4. If you had the chance to travel to another planet and return, which planet would you go to (not considering risk and travel time)?  Can I pick a fictional planet?  Because the ones around here seem a little short on restaurant options.
5. If you and everybody you knew were to leave Earth on a generational spaceship and never return, which 3 words would best summarise your feelings about life on Earth?  Down With Patriarchy.
6. Who is your favourite author?  *Brain asplode*  Too many answers!
7. Have you ever thought of starting, or actually started, your own business – or undertaken freelance work?:  oh, heck, no.  I am not a businessperson.  I’m not averse to some freelance work if it comes to me; I have neither the time nor the inclination to search for it, and no time to do a lot of it.
8. What is your preferred balance between solitude and socialising (including with close family, but pets don’t count) – as a general ‘rule of thumb’, in percent?:  Dude, I am so introverted.  I prefer to spend lots of time alone with my partner, and some time alone by myself.  I like to hang out with friends occasionally, a few times a week.  My family all live very far away (except my partner).
9. How do you prefer to socialise most of the time – Online or Offline?  Depends on with whom.  Often, not at all.
10. Has blogging helped you to develop as a person or change your life in a positive direction?  Uh… not really.  I guess accountablogging is helpful but I don’t do that much of it.
11. Which advice would you like to give new bloggers?  Make sure people can leave comments in a non-irritating way.  Patrol for spam.  Please be interesting.  Capital letters are your friends.  I refuse to read anything that has 1 sentence and then a cut tag; you have to put at least most of it on the front page or I won’t go further.  No ads, please.  (#1 adds:  Centering all your text does not make your blog cute, just annoying.  Also, #2 has adblock, so you can ignore that part about ads– she won’t know.)

So now, gentle and grumpy readers, help us think of 11 new questions to ask!  (Also, feel free to add your answers!)

Dear Family,

I love you all so very much and I am so grateful to have you in my life.  I love getting tiny presents from you at Christmas, because you were thinking of me.  I love shopping and trying to find the perfect gift for you.  I love Skyping you and seeing pictures of your new baby.  I love you all.

That having been said, there are some things I really have enough of.  I really don’t need as many gifts, just a card or a book or a photo is great.  Or a letter.  But if you’re going to get me gifts, we’ve got more than enough of:

• beer steins / glasses.  We love the ones we got this year from family, all with personal meaning, but we have to store them and only one of us drinks beer at all (and I’m a lightweight).  We’re at the max.
• scarves.  They are gorgeous and I often wear them, but I only have one neck!  Likewise earrings, though many of you have beautiful taste:  I have only 2 ears.
• candles.  We don’t need more, thanks.
• re-useable bags for groceries or whatever.  I love them, but we now have quite a collection.
• placemats or other kitchen pretty things.  We don’t entertain, and we’re not fancy.  We carefully fold these things up and keep them for a year or until the next move, whichever comes first, then they go to Goodwill.  Or get regifted.

Please do keep sending books, if you want.  We can never have too many!  Also tiny, handcrafted chocolates are always appreciated.  We don’t need money but thank you for the checks; we’ll use them for something fun.  Tiny things that make you think of us are great.  I actually like socks.  Once again, we love you, and thank you.  But please stop with the candles.

Readers, is there anything you’ve gotten too many of, or that people just keep on getting you?

#2 notes that her partner’s mother got her an incredibly nice bathrobe… that is almost identical to the one her partner’s mother got her a few years back and is still in great shape.  #2 also notes that she believes there are still candles from wedding presents stored in her parents basement.  She hates candles and flowers.  Fortunately people seem to have stopped getting her either.  #2 also wonders what her partner’s sister is going to do now that there’s no longer anything marked “low” or “lowest” priority on #2′s Amazon wishlist.  She might have to go up to medium!  (Not that #2 is sensing a pattern or anything… And really, she shouldn’t feel obligated to get anything at all!)

Link love

Feral homemaking also wanted to do a personal finance reality check this week.

Jim C. Hines demonstrates how ridiculous book cover poses for women are and raises money for charity in this pose-off with John Scalzi.

Dreadful acres discusses crappy cellphone and internet reception in the country.

Teaching kids programming skills by letting them “program” their parents:  I want #1 to do this and send me video.

In case this tenure thing doesn’t work out, to simplify discusses the benefits of living in a van down by various rivers and how to do that with a cat.

Speaking of hilarious cat antics, Scott Eric Kaufman has a cat that looks funny now.  His funny posts make me LOL.

Should you work for free?  A flow chart.  Related (and also stolen from Scalzi comments section):  A great video on contracts (and how to get paid).

Leah solves our holiday Christmas tree problem for this year.

A sweet gift for the dad who has everything, including a loving daughter, from tales and trenchs.

I have two very different songs stuck in my head:

things I’m letting go (with the newest addition)

• My ability to remember words.
• Regularly commenting on posts … comments happen in bunches when nursing.
• Having a big blog backlog
• Getting dressed unless I’m going into work.
• Did I mention sleep?
• Because I can’t remember.  My short-term memory doesn’t encode so well.
• Faculty meetings, at least until I am out of sick leave.
• Long, deep and thoughtful blog posts.  (Thankfully there’s still #2!)
• The ability to think about anything other than work, kids, and dairy products.
• Socializing.  Which is probably just as well, given the above.

What do/have you let go when something new takes a lot of your time?

Google Questions, you know you wanna know

Q:  why does my 2 year old be grumpy to other people

A:  because ze is two.

Q:  equifax – do i need to send in copies?

A:  They say you do.  Good luck with that.

Q:  how is education these days

A:  still pretty terrible

Q:  how ask for notes from classmate

A:  Hey [insert classmate's name here],

I’m in your [insert class name here] class.  I had to miss class on [insert day].  I was wondering if it would be possible to borrow your notes for that day.  I will get them back right away.  Thanks in advance!

Q: why am i grumpy when i don’t sleep properly

A:  because that is the correct response.

Q: how to toilet train when working part time

A: It doesn’t have to be all or nothing– potty train when you can, don’t worry about it when you can’t.

Q:  should teens have the same minimum wage jobs as adults?

A:  We recommend against stripping for the under 18 set, though one of #1′s former roommates did work as a stripper when she turned 18.

Q:  how much do you need to pay for a master

A:  We’re not really educated on the whole BDSM scene, but we imagine it varies by city and popularity of said master.  It’s all about the supply and demand (supply of demand?)

Q:  what advice would you give a friend who has admitted she cheated on a exam to the professor and is awaiting punishment

A:  Your friend should check online for her school’s procedure for academic dishonesty cases.  Otherwise, wait and suck it up.

Q:  should you force a kid to do something they dont want to do if you know they will love it

A:  Depends what it is.

Google questions that keep you up at night

Q:  why don’t college teachers check their email in summer

A:  Because we do not get paid to.

Also, because your grade is final and no amount of whining from you will change that.  Unless a mistake has actually been made, but that’s not your argument.  Your argument is that you worked “real hard” even though the grade book shows otherwise.  You gotsta turn in assignments to get credit for them and you can’t get extra credit after the fact.  In other words, college teachers do check their email in the summer but chose not to reply to yours because there was no reason to.

Q:  my kid has mandarin enrichment, math enrichment, gymnastic, piano lessons and swimming lessons and she is d till asking for dancing and skating, is it too much for a 6 year old

A:  Probably not– 6 year olds are pretty flexible, especially if ze is asking for more.  HOWEVER, it sounds like too much for any sane parent, unless you’ve got a chauffeur who isn’t you.  And no, you don’t need to find an excuse that it’s not in the kid’s best interest in order to say no.  You can say, “Mommy and daddy aren’t martyrs and we already take you to 5 extracurricular activities and we don’t want to do any more driving.”  That way when (if) your 6 year old is a parent, she doesn’t feel like she has to sacrifice everything for her kids either.

Q:  who is an ideal student?

A:  We were.

Q:  should i buy a house in december

A:  why not?  There’s less supply and less demand in the winter compared to the summer, so you may be able to get a bargain or you may have to keep looking until Spring when people start putting homes on the market.  Also, some areas have more seasonal housing markets than others (college towns will have very limited supply in December, but also very desperate sellers).

Q:  is a second job at minimum wage worth it

A:  Not to us, but it might be to you.

Q:  do 2 year olds know how to manipulate their parents?

A:  Depends on the kid.  Generally we like to assume that kids want to do what is right, and when we do that, they tend to believe it too.

Q: what is level 3 monitoring in the emergency room visit

A:  Extremely expensive.

Q:  how tosay i can be shy at first then warm up

A:  with a t-shirt.

Q:  is it silly to have a full length blind on a half window

A:  A little bit, but we don’t judge you for it.

Q:  being grumpy pros and cons?

A:  Only pros.  (We lost our amateur status.)  [Not actually true-- we're not getting paid for our grumpiness.  We can still compete in the grumpy olympics, and not just in the off-season.]

Link self-love

Oopsie, we missed our two year bloggiversary… apparently that was last Saturday.  What were your favorite posts of ours this past year?

Hm… we had some pretty good ones… on uh, the science of potty training… why we have everything,  important relationship lessons, the persecuted majority, progressive taxes… gosh, there must be more…

And here’s some love for other folks:

We think Donna Freedman is awesome.

CNN discusses the july effect in more detail.  The July effect being the reason I have an irrational fear of anethesiologists.

Read this one from eco cat lady for the cat pics.

Texts from Jane Eyre.  Read it and giggle.

Another article from CNN on Romney’s tax returns and tax loopholes.

We were in this week’s carnival of personal finance.

Our one comment on the Yahoo CEO thing… We suggest banning the phrase, “If someone is going to do X, then why have kids,” unless X is something that would result in a reasonable person calling Child Protective Services.  Otherwise mind your own business.  What you choose to do with your kids doesn’t mean they’re going to turn out any better than whatshername’s kids, and if you’re always all up in everybody else’s business… well, maybe you need to get more hobbies (since working for pay is such a horrible thought).  Seriously.