You know you wanna google it

Q:  who is a good marriage partner for an electrical engineer

A:  Me!

Q:  does tiaa-cref deal in gold?

A:  don’t do itte!

Q: can an emergency room dr. charge a level 3 office copay

A:  probably?

Q:  is love for food a sin

A:  Love for food is not the same as gluttony, which requires over-indulgence (to the point of waste).  So, no.  Also, this would require you to believe in the concept of sin, so…

Q:  by what name we shud call our partner

A:  ask them what name they prefer

Q:  something snart to say to grumpy people

A:  Snart you!

Q:  how to deal with bad grade in grad school

A:  vodka.  (Disclaimer, grumpy rumblings does not promote irresponsible drinking)

Q:  why do people have comforts

A:  Because otherwise we wouldn’t stay alive long enough to reproduce and the human race would die out.

Q:  why im considered authoritative

A:  because of my fancy moustache.

Q:  what are you doing my parents are home

A:  Sorry!  I’ll just move… that… over here.  Yeah.  My bad.

I’ll just put these right here

I have all these cool pics that I was going to add to posts but they don’t seem to fit in places, so… here you go!  Amusing things to look at.

64500_4720549303975_240072075_n

This is so gorgeous and also BOSS

librarian humor

nice sloth

The top part may or may not be true

why is this trueDon’t we all?

Ok, grumpeteers, amuse us!

Dear RBOC,

  • Dear students, The time to ask questions because you’re not keeping up is when I ask, “Any questions?  Has everybody gotten this file open?  If not, I can come over and show you how right now,” especially if I’m walking around the room while I say this.  The time to ask questions is not right after class, especially not, “Could you go through the last 20 min of class again right now because I was never able to get that file open?”
  • p.s.  The time to ask about questions on the homework is not right before it’s due.
  • Dear Students, If you’ve already taken a class on this topic that is more difficult than this intro course and you got an A in it, then yes, you should waive it.  Even if you took that course 2 years ago.  Honest.  You will be bored stiff in this class and you will make everyone who needs to take it nervous.  Seriously, this is a remedial class.  Please waive it!
  • p.s. When your HW says it is due on labor day, and all your friends are saying, “See you on Monday,” it might be a good time to check the school’s academic calendar before taking a three day weekend.  Just sayin’.
  • Dear Colleague, I’m not sure how to respond to your email, “I was talking with an alumni yesterday and he said that you were his favorite professor here, although he is pretty sure he was not one of your favorite students.”  So I think I’ll just delete that.
  • Dear Colleague, if you have someone from NSF visiting campus and you want people to meet with them, you need to tell us before the day on which it’s happening!
  • Dear random mother at the library, you are wrong when you tell your son that the book he picked out himself is too girly and he has to put it back and choose another one instead.  (And then you tell him that the second book he picked out is too difficult.  Why did you let him have the illusion of choice in the first place?)  And no, I don’t feel guilty about judging you on gender issues.

Help me Google, you’re my only hope!

Q:  when did you want another baby

A:  When my first started being able to entertain hirself and to help out around the house.  (Also, DH saw his sibling’s newborn and got baby fever.)  YMMV.

Q:  can i have a gardening business as a second job

A:  Can you have it as a first job?

Q:  reasons you are from the midwest

A:  1.  You were born there;  2. Your parents moved there when you were a child (often for job purposes) and stayed for a while;  3.  Your escape pod from Krypton landed there.

Q:  places for gifted children to hang out on the internet

A:  probably not where I hung out in high school and early college, that’s for sure.

Q:  is it better to have a 403 b or a roth ira?

A:  Both!  If you can swing it.  What do you think your income will be like when you retire?  Would you rather be taxed now or later?

Q:  funny things to say to good looking people

A:  “Madam, I may be drunk but bllllearrrrghhhh.”  –Winston Churchill after too much alcohol

Q:  what will happen if we don’t eat radishes

A:  radishes will overrun us all and start getting all up in our grills.  Please do your part.

Q:  should i buy a home in december

A:  Sure, why not?  (Assuming you have 20% down and can afford a 30 year fixed rate mortgage)

Q:  “pay off mortgage or buy another house”

A:  The former, then the latter, unless you have a lot of money (and the temperament) to play investor.

Q:  nice things to say to your best friend

A:  I couldn’t blog without you!

Ms. Linken-McLoverton

This is seriously the best idea that anyone has ever had: Privacy PopTent
for your bed.

BuzzFeed brings us 17 problems only book lovers will understand.

Planting our Pennies talks about stretching her boundaries and adorable tiny baby turtles.

Surviving academia talks about the benefits of daycare.

Chacha discusses self-publishing.

Not of general interest finds that sometimes charts and lists don’t work.

This page explains why we can’t get amazon affiliates links to work on our blog.

Ann Friedman discusses men and women and empire building.

this is weird

kawaii baby griffin is scared to fly; also funny: Mutual startlement

more grammar fun from the oatmeal.  Do it for the steeds.

I am very glad that my mom has confidence in me.  I can’t imagine how crushing it would be to have her tell me I couldn’t handle both work and kids.

What now’s partner got the job she wanted!

We were an editor’s pick in this week’s carnival of personal finance!

If only Google could show me the way (or at least point me to grumpy rumblings!)

Q:  my marriage is becoming shit, how do i not wallow in misery?

A.  Seek counseling, possibly a divorce, and possibly medication.

Q:  should you only go into academia if you are independently wealthy

A:  No.  One could also be very frugal.  Or in a field that pays well.  Or you could have really low expectations!

Q:  when should an untenured high school teacher have a baby

A:  whenever ze is ready

Q:  can a person have a phd in accounting?

A:  Yes

Q:  what is the salary of an accountant with phd

A:  http://www1.salary.com/Professor-Accounting-Salary.html says the median salary is ~109K for accounting professors.  We can’t vouch for its accuracy.  Presumably those in the private sector make more.

Q:  what you advise people if it was your last day

A:  It is really tempting to tell people what you really think of them… don’t.  If you can possibly help it.

Q:  can the government take your home when you die even if you have a will

A:  We Are Not A Lawyer.  Consult one.  But, probably not.  It depends what you mean by “the government” (see eminent domain, etc.).  If it’s not paid off, the bank can certainly take it!

Q:  how long does it take to furnish an apartment with a kitchen

A:  Anywhere from 1 hour at Ikea to 35 years (and counting).

Q:  what to do after mortgage is paid off

A:  Have a drink, celebrate, take a trip, bulk up your retirement accounts.  Buy a pony (warning:  your HOA may not approve the pony and may then take your house)?

Q:  when will i want baby #2

A:  Next Tuesday.  Or maybe never.  Is never good?

Recent trends we’ve been noticing

  • gelato!
  • bicycling
  • going to Italy
  • old-school mustaches
  • hybrid big cars and trucks
  • chia seeds for eating instead of pets
  • American pop that sounds like K-pop
  • rash guards instead of regular swim suits

What trends have you been noticing lately?

What’s your theme music?

My sister was recently maid of honor at her best friend’s wedding.

For the reception, they requested that she pick some music to introduce her before her speech or something.

“So, basically, they want you to pick your own theme music?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she replied.

“That seems like a trap!” I said.

“I know!  If it weren’t a wedding, I’d pick Don’t Rain on My Parade, but somehow it doesn’t seem fitting.  Or Loads of Lovely Love from No Strings.”

“You just want money, a nice position, and loads of lovely love?”

“Who doesn’t?” she asked.  “How about Side by Side by Side?”

“Company is so bittersweet.  Really anything Sondheim isn’t wedding appropriate.”

“Nope.  If I can’t think of anything good I’m defaulting to Dancing Queen, or maybe Good Morning Baltimore cause I used to wake [best friend] up to that.  Or maybe Come So Far to Go, but that might be insulting,” and then it was time for her to board the airplane.

So I asked around.  My partner suggested the Knight Rider theme song, or Magnum PI, but I think that we’re of a slightly different generation than she is.  My mom noted she probably shouldn’t do “Baby I Was Born This Way.”  No mom, she probably shouldn’t.

In the end, she went with “Friendship” from Anything Goes.  Which is a nice song (and better for a wedding than Bosom Buddies!), but maybe not so much of a theme song for an individual.

I have to admit, I’d be kind of stumped on this question if I were asked.  Maybe Loads of Lovely Love after all… she’s right– who doesn’t want money, a nice position, and loads of lovely love?

#2 says: I’ve always thought about what should be my theme music, but nothing seems great enough to truly capture me.

What’s your theme song?

My body defies science, or else everyone lies.

Ok what is it with this idea that you are getting enough sleep when you can wake up without an alarm?  Who does that?  Maybe if I set my alarm for 11am!  Even when I go to bed early, and set the alarm for 8 – 9 hours later, the alarm always wakes me up.  What is WITH you people and your freakish lack of need for alarm clocks?  That’s why they make alarm clocks!  Because we need them!  Perhaps if I never had a class or meeting before 2pm then I wouldn’t need an alarm clock.  But seriously!  Getting 8 – 9 hours of sleep is NO guarantee that I will then wake up at the right time.  Ha ha.  I laugh upon your alarm-clock-not-needing!  [#2 does not usually use alarm clocks, and even when she does use them, she usually wakes up before they go off.] [#1 sticks out her tongue at #2.]

I *always* feel groggy when I get up.  And there is nothing wrong with my thyroid [#2, using her armchair internet skillz, suspects it's a difficult to diagnose thyroid problem], I get plenty of vitamin D, I exercise several times per week (which only makes me MORE exhausted, but that’s a separate post).  If I was pulled over on my way to work, I would fail a field sobriety test because I am uncoordinated and usually sleepy at that hour.  I can’t even reliably touch my finger to my nose when stone-cold sober, and I do drive sleepy.  I know I shouldn’t.  But there’s no other way to get to work!  Or, if I’m awake when going TO work, I’m very exhausted when coming home, which leaves the same problem.

Who’s with me?!?!?!?!?

Superstitions

I constantly knock on wood.  I even carry some around with me just in case.  I hope the wood spirits bring me luck.

I throw salt over my shoulder whenever I use some in cooking, or spill some elsewhere.  I want to appease some sort of spirit with that.

There’s a song that whenever I hear it I get bad interpersonal luck.  I hate that song.

I like to think when something bad happens to me, it’s saving up karma for something good in the future.

I cross myself when the airplane takes off.

I believe it is tempting fate to say something like, “I’m all caught up on all my work!”  (Related:  “I have no more referee reports to do.”)

What are your superstitions?  Or are you too rational to have any?

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