Superstitions

I constantly knock on wood.  I even carry some around with me just in case.  I hope the wood spirits bring me luck.

I throw salt over my shoulder whenever I use some in cooking, or spill some elsewhere.  I want to appease some sort of spirit with that.

There’s a song that whenever I hear it I get bad interpersonal luck.  I hate that song.

I like to think when something bad happens to me, it’s saving up karma for something good in the future.

I cross myself when the airplane takes off.

I believe it is tempting fate to say something like, “I’m all caught up on all my work!”  (Related:  “I have no more referee reports to do.”)

What are your superstitions?  Or are you too rational to have any?

Our next blog

One of these days, when we decide to leave academia or decide it’s time to sell our souls for more income…

We’re going to create a new blog.  We’re going to call the guy who owns the blog, Steve.  That way we won’t have to put up with patriarchal BS.  (Shhh “Steve” doesn’t really exist.  He’s just a front man.)

Steve will run a personal finance blog.  He will recycle our old and extremely awesome money posts.  We’ll disappear them from this blog so if anybody notices that there might be plagiarism, only google cache will be able to help.  We may even say that we sold the posts to Steve, so he’s not actually stealing our work.  In theory the controversy would drive up hits, and we could even write a guest post for Steve explaining that we love his blog and sold him a few posts.  Something like that.

We’re thinking of some version of  quitmydayjob.com for the blog host.  We’ve got some back-up plans in case that turns out to be too expensive.

He’s going to start with the plan of making moneys.  He’s going to have advertising.  He’ll do the Yakezie challenge.  He’ll accept sponsored guest posts.  He’ll do all the things that Nicole and Maggie don’t have time to or don’t want to sell their souls to do.  Heck, depending on how much time we have, he might even write paid posts for other blogs!  We’ll see.

Readers will be able to cheer him on as he works to make money so he can quit his soul-sucking dayjob.  We haven’t decided what his current job is, but we know he doesn’t like it.

We’re not sure if he’s single or married or if he has kids yet.  Probably if he has kids, there’s only one.  Hm… maybe he could be a divorced single dad with custody, but the kid has insurance through the ex-wife.  I dunno.  Or maybe he’ll just be a single guy.  So many decisions!

It’ll be awesome.  One of these days when one of us quits her dayjob.

Until then…

Chicken with waffles: a theory of meat and bread

So, the other night my partner and I were talking right before sleep.  For some reason he was telling me about chicken with waffles.  Despite living in the South for several years, he has only recently tried them, and waxed quite poetically about them.

Something about the warm crispness of the waffle, the meatiness of the chicken, and the delightful crunch of the fried part, tied together perfectly with only the lightest of syrups, syrup that would be totally out of place on the fried chicken by itself but seems integral to the chicken-with-waffles experience.  (Yes, you eat the chicken and waffle at the same time, he says, the chicken is on top of the waffle, syrup on top of that.)

This lead us to discuss what seems to be a hierarchy of breaded products and meats.

Beef we eat in Roast Beef sandwiches, or in a pot pie.  It stands up well to rye and hearty wheats.

However, pork needs a lighter touch, but still more dense than waffles.  Think bacon and sausage with pancakes and syrup.  Nom.

Waffles with chicken we have already discussed, and their part in the breaded meat hierarchy should have been an obvious missing link.  Someone would have had to invent it if it hadn’t already been invented.

Then, of course, we have the most delicate meats of all– seafood.  Obviously we have those in crepes.  (Assuming we’re sticking to wheat products.)

Are you a fan of meat and bread combinations?  What are your favorite?

How do you refer to someone’s romantic partner?

If they’re married, you can say husband or wife.  If they’re engaged, there’s various spellings of fiance.

What about all those other situations?

Boyfriend and Girlfriend sound a bit adolescent.  As do “young gentleman” and “young lady.”

We use partner a lot, but we’ve heard people complain that it often signals a non-heterosexual relationship or a couple that does not believe in marriage, and so it’s too focused to be used more generally.  (We use it anyway, just not with people who complain about it.)

#1 is a big fan of significant other, or SO for short.  She picked that up from her mom.  But Debbie M suggests that she has many others in her life who play significant roles, “Highly significant other–in a good way”–isn’t quite right either, though.

Sometimes I’ll say, “your guy” if I can’t remember the guy’s name.  (Shhh.)  But it doesn’t seem to work so well in my mind if the significant other in question is female.

We don’t say, “your old man” or “your old lady” anymore.  And with good reason!  My grandma used to say beau.  Does anybody say swain anymore?

Soulmate seems a bit personal.  I figure people can make that determination about their own partners but probably not about other couples.

Mi mama sometimes says inamorato(a).  What can I say, we’re a family of romantics.  (Though with exes, it is always “former flame”.  What can I say, we adore alliteration.)

Some other suggestions:  helpmeet? life partner? partner in Romance?  Most significant other?  Best beloved?

How do you refer to someone’s romantic partner?

I had a midlife crisis in class today

There comes a point in a young professor’s life when nobody in the class gets her jokes anymore.

So today, I made the off-handed comment, “Not only am I the hairclub president, but I’m also a client!”

Student 1:  Wait?  You’re the president of a hairclub?

Student 2:  Huh?  Obama uses rogaine?

Student 3:  I think she means the college president.

So after my little mid-life crisis, I pulled up the commercial on Youtube so they wouldn’t think I was too crazy.  They made fun of the cheesy 90s music.  “This commercial is sooo 90s, ” student 4 proclaimed.

That made me feel even older.

The new assistant prof told us over lunch the other day that she had a nightmare that her students were laughing at her.   A more senior associate and I told her that our students laugh at us all the time, and sometimes even when we intend them to.  I also pointed out that I read somewhere that they’re more likely to remember material when there’s humor.  So that’s good, even if the humor was unintentional.

So my joke didn’t go over the way I planned today, but they did get a hearty laugh out of my mid-life crisis.  Hopefully that will help them remember non-linear functions.

Help me feel better!  Do you have any interesting stories to share about feeling old or people just not getting your jokes anymore?

If you were stranded on desert island…

And you were allowed the full library of only one band, what would you choose?

Partner and I were discussing this last night…

He asked if instead of a band, it could be a composer, and we decided that yes, that is allowed (though only original arrangements– so you could have the jazz version of Rhapsody in Blue and the classical version of Rhapsody in Blue, but not the Swingle Singers version).

He then pointed out that a classical composer is probably the way to go.  I agreed.  Someone very prolific who has a wide range of style and influence across the genre.  Probably also someone who wrote for piano, orchestra, and voice.  (Maybe someone who does movie soundtracks too?)

But who?

#2 picks J. S. Bach.  I love fugues and counterpoint, and he wrote a lot.  Love it!

So, if you were stranded on a desert island and had the full library of only one band or composer, who would be a good choice and why?

Dear Family,

I love you all so very much and I am so grateful to have you in my life.  I love getting tiny presents from you at Christmas, because you were thinking of me.  I love shopping and trying to find the perfect gift for you.  I love Skyping you and seeing pictures of your new baby.  I love you all.

That having been said, there are some things I really have enough of.  I really don’t need as many gifts, just a card or a book or a photo is great.  Or a letter.  But if you’re going to get me gifts, we’ve got more than enough of:

• beer steins / glasses.  We love the ones we got this year from family, all with personal meaning, but we have to store them and only one of us drinks beer at all (and I’m a lightweight).  We’re at the max.
• scarves.  They are gorgeous and I often wear them, but I only have one neck!  Likewise earrings, though many of you have beautiful taste:  I have only 2 ears.
• candles.  We don’t need more, thanks.
• re-useable bags for groceries or whatever.  I love them, but we now have quite a collection.
• placemats or other kitchen pretty things.  We don’t entertain, and we’re not fancy.  We carefully fold these things up and keep them for a year or until the next move, whichever comes first, then they go to Goodwill.  Or get regifted.

Please do keep sending books, if you want.  We can never have too many!  Also tiny, handcrafted chocolates are always appreciated.  We don’t need money but thank you for the checks; we’ll use them for something fun.  Tiny things that make you think of us are great.  I actually like socks.  Once again, we love you, and thank you.  But please stop with the candles.

Readers, is there anything you’ve gotten too many of, or that people just keep on getting you?

#2 notes that her partner’s mother got her an incredibly nice bathrobe… that is almost identical to the one her partner’s mother got her a few years back and is still in great shape.  #2 also notes that she believes there are still candles from wedding presents stored in her parents basement.  She hates candles and flowers.  Fortunately people seem to have stopped getting her either.  #2 also wonders what her partner’s sister is going to do now that there’s no longer anything marked “low” or “lowest” priority on #2′s Amazon wishlist.  She might have to go up to medium!  (Not that #2 is sensing a pattern or anything… And really, she shouldn’t feel obligated to get anything at all!)

Answering questions posed by Christmas carols

Is it far to Bethlehem City?  How long is a piece of string?

May we touch the gentle oxen?  Yes.

May we pull the curly sheeps’ wool?  Please don’t.

Do you hear what I hear?  The question you should be asking is, Do you smell what I smell?

Oh sisters too/ how may we do/ for to preserve this day/ this poor youngling for whom we do sing / by by lully lullay…?  National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Who is the King of Glory?  Duh, it’s the Lord of Hosts, pay attention.

What child is this, who, laid to rest, in Mary’s lap is sleeping?  Once again, you’re not paying attention.

I wonder as I wander… Sorry, that’s not a question.

What was in those ships all three, on Christmas Day in the morning?  Probably smuggled rum and spices.

How shall I send thee?  I’m gonna send thee right to the campus writing center because you don’t know what a topic sentence is.

Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight?  F*ck you, pay me.

Link love

Feral homemaking also wanted to do a personal finance reality check this week.

Jim C. Hines demonstrates how ridiculous book cover poses for women are and raises money for charity in this pose-off with John Scalzi.

Dreadful acres discusses crappy cellphone and internet reception in the country.

Teaching kids programming skills by letting them “program” their parents:  I want #1 to do this and send me video.

In case this tenure thing doesn’t work out, to simplify discusses the benefits of living in a van down by various rivers and how to do that with a cat.

Speaking of hilarious cat antics, Scott Eric Kaufman has a cat that looks funny now.  His funny posts make me LOL.

Should you work for free?  A flow chart.  Related (and also stolen from Scalzi comments section):  A great video on contracts (and how to get paid).

Leah solves our holiday Christmas tree problem for this year.

A sweet gift for the dad who has everything, including a loving daughter, from tales and trenchs.

I have two very different songs stuck in my head:

Because Google doesn’t always know the answer

Q:  should i marry my best friend if she is not attractive

A:  Not conventionally attractive is irrelevant.  Not attractive to you– definitely not.

Q:  what’s academic life like after tenure

A:  Busy!

Q:  does part time in a job get less taxes taken out

A:  Yes and no.  Taxes get taken out based on the money you’re making.  If you’re making less money, then you get less tax from a flat dollar amount.  In terms of percentages, the amount you get taken out varies based on complicated rules– you get more taken out as your marginal rate goes up but you also get less taken out (as a percentage) as you start reaching income ceilings for various taxes.

Q:  where was video games made

A:  All over the place.  Including San Diego.

Q:  putting washed dishes in sink unhealthy?

A:  Sinks are pretty disgusting, but if you’re not immunocompromised you’ll probably be ok.

Q:  howbdo u spell the word when u poo andvpee at the same time

A:  Though not technically correct (as liquidy poo is not technically pee), we would like to quote the following:  “When you’re diving into first, and you feel you’re gonna burst:  diarrhea.”

Q: is it normal to feel like you dont want another child when you already have one?

A:  Yes.  Or even if you don’t have one!  It is also normal to feel like you do.

Q:  how to pay off debt with two jobs

A:  Spend less than you earn.  Apply extra money to debt.

Q:  when do professors vacation for summer

A:  If they are French, then in August.  Otherwise it varies, and some don’t vacation at all.

Q:  why single moms pretend things are perfect

A:  They don’t.