OMG we are spending SO MUCH MONEY

Mint keeps emailing to tell me that we’ve had an unusual amount of spending in various categories.  Usually we spend far less on these categories, Mint says.

I’m not even talking about the required increased expenses, like daycare costs doubling or our rent being 2x our mortgage.  I’m talking about the optional things that all those early retirement blogs would say we’re horrible people for doing and a few career women blogs would say we should do more of.

Turns out DC1 is a chatterbox when not in regular organized activities, so instead of having hir home all summer keeping hirself entertained with homework books, video games, novels, and the like, we quickly realized that ze will have to have some organized activities once we get to Paradise because we won’t have built-in playdates to take any of the edge off, at least not until school starts.

And the organized activities available through the park district in paradise look SO COOL.  Unfortunately the prices also add up.  $700 later, DC1 is enrolled in two week-long half day camps (engineering/minecraft/legos) and 2 week-long full day camps (traditional crafts + swimming + games + field trips etc.).  Also swimming for the rest of the summer at an additional $55/week for 30 min each morning.  There’s a lot of weeks left that ze will still be at home alone with DH and I’m not sure what we’re going to do about that.  The park district daycamps that still have spots for the remaining weeks are $300/week (10am-4pm) which we just cannot justify spending.  The YMCA also has some daycamps that are $250/week (7:30am-6pm), and we don’t know if they still have slots or not.  If DH goes crazy we’ll investigate those.  Or maybe DC1 will find neighborhood kids to play with, though I’m not really sure how one does that in these hyper-vigilant parenting days.

At some point I also said “screw it” on moving expenses.  We ended up not driving any of our stuff to Paradise except what will fit in a car or on the airplane.  For $1K we got a couple of big pieces of furniture that we needed (beds + mattresses) and a bunch of stuff we don’t really need, or a higher quality of stuff than we really need (like a wooden table with leaves and wood chairs rather than a folding card table with folding chairs) from a family moving away from paradise.  Then we needed to get a uhaul to pick it all up and I figured, why not get the 2br size instead of the studio.  And yes, we need dollies.  And hey, instead of getting day laborers who are potentially illegal immigrants at $15/hr, let’s spend $200 on a couple of people from a uhaul-connected moving company.  That way I won’t have a  Zoe Baird moment if the president wants to appoint me to government office decades from now.  So I dunno, is $1500 less than what we’d be paying buying cheap stuff new (with potentially free or cheaper delivery), browsing craigslist, and waiting for hand-outs from people wanting to empty out their garages?  Probably not.  But we saved some time.

We also ended up not bringing our piano, even though it’s digital, because it won’t fit in the car with all the electronics DH needs to bring in the car for work.  We might end up getting one free from a friend wanting to empty her garage, but we’ll still have to pay piano movers and probably a tuner.  We can rent one locally for ~$400 for the year including shipping.  Or we could buy a cheaper one from amazon for the year.  We’ll see what happens.

We’re also going to have to store my car for half the year (our tenants are allowing me to keep it in the garage until January, but then they’re planning on purchasing a second car and ours isn’t nice enough for them to rent).  That’s $400, though I could spend $250 on a parking permit at the university, but then I’d have to be vigilant about getting someone to move it the few occasions that the lot has to be emptied of cars.  The bluebook value is $3.5K, and logically I should just sell the car and buy a new one when we get back, but that’s a hassle and I’m attached to my car.

Then there’s all these after school programs at a few hundred dollars a pop (most of which I didn’t value at cost when DC1 was getting them for free in private school!) and we might pay for bussing at $800/year (which is a complicated subject– the school is 20 min away and the bus stop is 10 min away but closer to DC2’s daycare so DH’s drop-off/pick-up commute would be cut in half).

I’m also planning to spend a lot of $ eating out.  And I’ve got all these local vacations planned.  And fun activities for the weekends that will not all be free.

I keep going back and forth between “OMG we’re spending so much” and “screw it.”  I think, as is evidenced by not paying for the $300/week daycamp, that we’re hitting a happy medium that won’t leave us having to dip into our secondary emergency fund (the one in the stock market), but I’m not so sure that there will be money leftover from the trip to allow a kitchen remodel when we get back.  We will see!

Still, it’s hard to see the numbers in earmarked savings going down so rapidly.  Hopefully that pace will slow once we’re actually settled.

Have you been in a situation where you spend a lot more than you’re used to?  How do you feel when you spend a lot of money–Do you feel terrible, do you hit “screw it” and let the floodgates open, or are you super-rational about it?

Link Love

Detroit cops hit-and-run kill 2 black kids in the course of duty

FFS.

John Oliver FTW.

A history of gay marriage rulings in the US state by state.

teens rapping the news in Uganda

posted without comment

Guess that giving lectures on abstinence works about as well as getting said lectures.

Vacation economics vs. real life economics.

I’ve been enjoying these introspective money posts (see earlier ones too) from Not a Wasted Word.

a site to compare moving costs (didn’t use it though)

I kind of want to rent this now.

Ask the readers: Help! DH stepped on my oldschool Kindle 3

We didn’t have an ask the grumpies thing queued this week because it has been a crazy insane week, but I have an emergency question!

#1 asks:

DH stepped on my old school Kindle 3– the kind with the side page turners (which I love) and the keyboard.  If money is no object, should I get the Voyage, the Paperwhite, the currently-offered no frills kind, or a used ebay replacement?  (Amazon no longer sells refurbished Kindle 3s and the replacement screens are no longer available for sale anywhere.  We tried all the recommended kindle rebooting things and they erased the stuck picture but it still no longer shows new text.)  If money is an object, what would you get?  Anybody have personal experience with multiple kindles?

I don’t have an answer to this.  The replacement kindle 3 is $35 (including S+H) but sold “as-is” from a 99.4% satisfaction store that has sold 45 of them so far.  The no-frills is $99 without ads.  The Paperwhite is $139.  The Voyage is $219.

Like I said, I really like the side page turners, but I haven’t tried reading with the screen touch, so it might be fine.  I am also skeptical of lighting, but again, haven’t tried it so it might be fine.  I don’t want to see how much time the kindle things I have left– I liked the percentage left options, but I might get used to it.  Basically I’m scared of changing up something I like for something that might irritate me.  But it might be fine!  Is it fine?

Thanks in advance for your help.  I need to keep reading She (free on kindle!– also the origin of the honorific “She who must be obeyed”).  Analysis paralysis is not fun at all.

In which we talk about good books that are great to read

#1:  BTW, *all* of the Survivors’ Club books I’ve read so far have been delightful.  It is a fun fun series.
#2:  I stayed up late reading The Escape.  It was so good!  I was impressed with how Balogh managed to work everything out neatly at the end of The Escape.  Not TOO neat and tidy, but everything turned out in the end!

#1:  right now I’m knee deep in the first one I think the Escape’s been the best so far, but I seriously enjoyed the first two.
#2:  who gets together in the first one?
#1: Hugo, Lord Eames.

#2: Big ups for disability representation. I was impressed.
#1: YES! and she’s obviously done her research on the disabilities, even the mental health ones, which you will see in Flavian Lord Ponsoby’s story
#2:  excellent.  He has the stutter, and doesn’t Hugo have the PTSD? At the end of The Escape is a short story called “The Suitor” about Vincent, too.
#1:  Hugo mostly came to terms with his disability in the 7 years between leaving the war and the book starting. But there’s another mental health story that rings really true in the first book
#2: Excellent.
#1: You know I’m going to have to get the series.
#2:  Phillippa Dean is supposed to go marry Vincent the Viscount, but her heart is set on old flame Julian Crabbe…. CAN TRUE LOVE WIN THE DAY?
#1:  oh man oh man.  We meet Phillippa Dean at the beginning of Vincent’s book and her engagement is mentioned in his book near the end. They’re all so good. Vincent is a good guy.
#2:  well we already know who Vincent marries

#1: Get The Proposal (Book 1) next that’s the one I am thoroughly enjoying.  It also has a lot of commentary on class and culture and some signs of the end of the victorian age. The only thing it’s lacking is more stuff about agriculture.  I mean, it talks about agriculture, but doesn’t get into the weeds like I like.  Heyer does a good job getting into the weeds there.
#2:  if you want long tracts about agriculture you can always read Anna Karenina
#1: ugh, no thank you
#2: so many cabbages
#1:  I wrote a paper in college on Emma in the midst of an agricultural revolution
#2:  you are delightfully nerdy
#1:  My prof was especially impressed with me noticing that the only time Harriet says anything sensible is when she’s talking about agriculture.
#2:  you are one smart cookie.
#1:  That semester I was taking three classes that spent large portions of time on 19th century England.  Only my math class was exempt.
#2:  in college I wrote snarky-ass papers about how much I liked the characters in the V.I. Warshawski Novels by Sara Paretsky.  Especially Lotte, the Austrian Jewish doctor who performed free safe abortions
#1:  I have not read Sara Paretsky
#2:  I dunno that you’d like her. Chicago-based private eye VI Warshawski solves mysteries. If you like detective novels they’re good.
#1:  My mom left a bunch of similar themed books here the last time she stayed.  They haven’t been light enough for me to want to get into them
#2: yeah, they’re probably not fluffy enough for you right now
#1: it must be a sub-genre, mystery novels with abortion doctors in them.  My mom left one series about a historical midwife who solves crimes, I think.  They’re all just a little bit sordid
#2:  oh, hunh.  I didn’t know that.  This character’s main trait isn’t that she does abortions though, it’s that she is a great friend
#1:  mostly they seem to be early 20th century.  Wait, does this have an Australian mini-series based on it?
#2: no
#1: have you seen that?
#2: not that I know of anyway.  What series?
#1: Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries I think set in the 1920s.
#2:  no, these ones are later than that
#1:  we saw two episodes and it was really high quality but too sordid for me
#2: these [Paretsky] ones are like in the 1990s
#1:  ah, the ones my mom left are all 1920s-1950s
#2: and I think (IIRC) that the friend is not specifically an abortion doctor, just that she knows how to do abortions and so she does them (in addition to other doctoring).  The VI Warshawski ones are like 1990s. If I’m thinking of the right series, she goes rollerblading.
#2:  hunh! Never heard of those but it does look like lovely production values
#1:  I suspect you will love it.  Australian.  Really interesting because the upper-crust all have British accents, but the normal people have Aussie accents.
#2:  actually I think I have heard of the book series but not read them
#2: I will probably enjoy that, you’re right

#1:  I want to read the stories of some of these other characters too [in the Survivors’ Club].  The glimpses of backstories are so interesting that I’m certain there must be another series that gives them full attention.  I love the way Balogh has created an entire world and we see people in it multiple times.  Even if there are still more young attractive dukes than could ever be possible.  I wonder what book is Lily’s story
#2: mmm delicious dukes
#1: this one has a lovely way of showing the same scene from both the hero and the heroine’s perspectives. Aiee, I just hit the part where the reader is firmly convinced that they’re perfect for each other.  Balogh is CLEVER.

Eczema is driving me crazy

and it’s not even mine!

DC2 had a good month or two with perfect skin, and then eczema hit again.  Ze is finally old enough to get allergy testing done, so we got it done, and ze came up clear.  Ze can still have food intolerances, but we don’t have to worry about anaphylactic shock.  The internet (including more reputable places like webmd) notes that age 3-4 is when food allergies stop leading to eczema.  So wheat should be fine now.

The allergist gave the same advice the pedi had given– bathe or shower once a day, lather with lotion or creme (preferable aquifor or aveeno) 3-4 times per day.  The problem is that when we do that, DC2 gets big flare-ups and ze hates hates hates the lotion and says it itches… which makes us suspect that some of these lotions are part of the problem not the solution.  Ze seems better with aquifor and hydrolatum.

So the day after the allergist, we gave hir wheat-based lasagna (to eat) and Aveeno (topically), and had hir take a bath in the tub.  Ze had a HUGE flare-up.  On the plus side, coconut no longer makes hir throw up and seems to have zero ill effects.

We switched out regular sunblock with Badger Zinc Oxide sunblock.  We got rid of the Aveeno and switched to different supposedly-eczema-friendly lotions and cremes.  We had several meals without wheat.  We switched from baths in the DCs’ bathtub to showers using my special shower filter (the water here gives me hives sometimes).  It didn’t clear up but seemed to be doing somewhat better.

Then it got worse and DC2 started tantruming when it was time to put on lotion.  Then it got worse than we’d ever seen it before, turning an angry red with bumps.  So we stopped the daily baths and didn’t put on lotion unless DC2 was willing and it stopped getting worse, though didn’t get much better.  We went to the doctor again and he said that even though it was now “moderate” rather than “mild” that we should continue doing what he told us to do and he was sure that the flare-ups that happened after we followed his instructions were entirely coincidental.  He also suggested oral steroids.  We called DH’s mom who is both a nurse and has had the experience of dealing with DH’s siblings’ eczema.  She suggested different lotions, a different anti-histimine, and fewer rather than more baths (an internet search suggests that more baths are what is en vogue but 5 years ago they were suggesting fewer, which suggests to me that they really don’t know).  She nixed the oral steroid and suggested a topical steroid.

After a lot of looking online and comparing and contrasting the ingredients of different lotions, we noticed that the ones that caused obvious flare-ups all have alcohol as an ingredient, and given that DC2 couldn’t handle wipes with alcohol and I used to have a topical allergy to rubbing alcohol, we thought maybe that might be contributing to the problem.  We noticed that the first two ingredients in one baby lotion formula were water and sunflower oil, and figured, maybe #2 has a point and we should just use oil (crazy online sites all recommend coconut oil or complicated mixtures of essential oils, but we’re not totally on board with coconut yet and both too lazy and too skeptical to combine oils that come with warning labels about overuse).  DC2 hasn’t complained at all about getting olive oil– no screams or tantrums– and it didn’t seem to be making anything worse, which, while not the same as making something better, is better than the alternative.  One application of the topical steroid before bed combined with benedryl completely cleared up one of DC2’s arms and made the other three limbs look markedly better.

#2 has topical allergies too, and eczema for the rest of my life.  There’s nothing like grad school for giving you a lifelong medical condition!  I had a conversation with #1 about my allergies (which is a boring conversation but maybe helpful if DC2 gets more topical allergy tests).  I have an ointment now that works, but big flares are only controlled with Prednisone.  Hopefully baby won’t need that.

My eczema is exacerbated by water sitting on my skin, which means that I can’t use most lotions (creams, gels, anything you leave on) because they have water in them.  You can always buy cheap olive oil and use that, but then people might try to lick you.

#1 notes that DC2 smells delicious after being coated in olive oil.

Isn’t this fun??!?!?

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July Mortgage Update: Renting a house for a year is a pain

This month (July):
Balance:$22,465.56
Years left: 1.6666666667
P =$1,121.04, I =$93.36, Escrow =$809.48

Last month (June):
Balance:$23,586.60
Years left: 1.75
P =$1,116.62, I =$97.78, Escrow =$809.48

One month’s prepayment savings: $0

We put our house on the market for under the market value.  We gave a $200/mo discount on top of that for a family to rent it furnished rather than unfurnished.  We only advertised on the university web-page and on sabbatical homes and the MLS.  No Craigslist!

A family from overseas contacted us right away.  They had their local friends look at it.  We had a brief discussion via the internet wherein the husband tried to bargain us down from the listed unfurnished price, not understanding that we were renting it for less than what he was trying to bargain it down to because he wanted it furnished.  The wife and I discussed daycares and leaving DC2’s outgrown clothing and toys since her child is a year younger and how much cheaper water is in the US than in her country.  We put the husband in contact with our real estate agent.  We hammered out all the details like dates.  The wife contacted the agent with a lengthy list of demands of things she wanted cleaned before they got here (all of which we were planning on doing anyway) and a demand that we get rid of some of our paper blinds which she thought were grey and covered in dust from her friend’s video, but are actually peach and what she thought was dust are shadows from the pleats.  We said no to replacing the blinds.

I got a few more contacts from less desirable prospective tenants (two dogs and a cat kind of less desirable– our HOA only allows two pets, or people needing the house for less time or wanting to bargain us down more), but they didn’t contact me back when I said we were in conversation with another family.

And then nothing for a few weeks.  With the end of the school year etc. we didn’t really notice things weren’t progressing, but once that settled down we wanted to nail things down.  We contacted our real estate agent, who said things were progressing.  And then a week later things stopped progressing.  So the real estate agent sent a firm email noting he’d been turning people away from looking at our house, and that activated some action from our prospective tenants, the irritated full professor noting that he is a very busy man in the middle of organizing a conference.  Which is no doubt true, but he really should have taken care of the lease before the conference!  He sent the background check information and passed the check.  And our agent sent the lease to sign both electronically and in pdf form (in case the electronic version wasn’t working).  And… then nothing.

So then our agent stopped turning other families away from looking at our house which meant we spent some time outside at the playground where it is very very hot.  The first new family to look at the place texted right away and said they loved the place.  They wanted it for the full time and they wanted it unfurnished (so another $4K for an additional 2 months + $1200 to rent unfurnished instead of furnished + the utilities we wouldn’t be paying those two months… but also plus hassle, storage, and potential breakage) and were willing to give us a deposit and signed lease right then and there.  We gave the family we had an agreement with until the weekend was over to get us the signed lease and deposit or we were moving on.  And they did.  So we turned the second family away and took down the sign on our lawn and the listing off sabbaticalhomes.

Hopefully this will all work out!

I do think it helps that we listed the place under market price and that we had two prices for furnished vs. unfurnished that reflected our desire not to move our stuff into storage.  We have more money than ability to deal with hassle these days, and it’s nice being able to just say, screw it, we have the cash for this, we can take a risk or pay to not have to deal with something.  Me five years ago (when DH was still a tenure track professor) would have been freaking out at every point, and we’d have had a higher listing price.  And I can’t even think what me when DH was between jobs would be doing.

Wish us luck!

Have you ever acted as a landlord, temporary or otherwise?

(link) LOVE IS LOVE

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People, a moment here.  I got my wedding invitations from the printer yesterday.  They are gorgeous.  I am grateful that yesterday, same-sex marriage was declared legal throughout the US by the Supreme Court.  I’m so happy.  There’s something in my eye.

One of us is at a conference while the other holds down the fort this weekend.

Here are some links we found this week.

My favorite part of this 10-second video is the baby’s surprised expression at the end!

Goddamnit EEOC get your head right!!!

If you’ve ever wondered how clothing donations get processed

Explaining the Large Hadron Collider using Frozen.

The 10 most famous internet cats (my favorite is Lil Bub!)

Jessica Williams continues to be brilliant

Pie Charts of Sadness

moar sad.

This is cool:  crowdsource some lost ancestors

do you think this is true?

Help the animals

The #Charlestonsyllabus is a great resource

It’s always fun to play “Prof or hobo?”  (Although note how men get away with looking like this …)

I’m #16 in this list (if it loads really slow, it’s probably because the servers at pride.com caught on fire from the load).  Don’t have time to read the whole SCOTUS decision?  Here it is in haiku.

kittens do stuff for the first time: this may be happening in my house….

 

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