They’re all fighting with their husbands.
They tell each other it’s normal. All marriages go through these kinds of issues.
I really like being abnormal. I like having a husband who doesn’t take his stress out on me. I like having a partner who eases a burden rather than adding to it. If my partner purposefully caused me stress, I think I would probably be happier being single. Not 100% sure, but I like to think that I have high standards and wouldn’t be too uncomfortable in my own skin even if it meant I had to clean out the cat litter every night.
Of course, I can’t comfort these ladies. I can’t make up problems. I can’t give advice (or rather I could, but I’m fairly sure my head would be bitten off… the other woman on the board who actually gets along with her husband and has a well-behaved kid has tried in the past, and it wasn’t pretty). I don’t like fighting. I like problem-solving. I like using “I” words and “we” words. I like appreciating my husband and having him appreciate me. I like feeling like we’re on the same side.
I wish everybody had as good a relationship as we have. Maybe it was the years of having roommates that forced good roommate skills. Maybe we’re just romantics and totally believe in love and trust. Maybe it’s because #2 schooled me in communication without confrontation in high school (even though she often chose not to use it herself!) Maybe we got all our fights out the first 4 years of our relationship when we were teenagers.
Anyhow, I just wanted to share that it makes me sad. And I hope I’m not the only person who rarely fights with her spouse and likes not doing so. (I know of some folks who never fought and divorced because the marriage was too boring. But we prefer positive excitement in ours– mostly food related.)
#1 reminds #2 of her addictions. This is the legacy forum. I’m always trying not to start another! (Though I may have to get off the forum… one woman on there is totally passive aggressive and I don’t think she has ever said anything to me… a bunch of people wish her luck for something, she thanks them one by one and deliberately excludes me… a number of folks say their kids are sick, every one gets a hope you feel better except me… everyone who says something gets a reply, except me. This is the woman I blogged about earlier so I’m pretty sure it is deliberate. And I just don’t care enough about drama to confront her, so much easier to leave.)
Do you think couples have to fight? If someone actually asked for advice (they never do… they just want to complain), what would you suggest?