Student dumbhattery

CPP has indicated that “Delusional student antics never fail to cracke me the f*cke uppe.”

And now, an IM with #2.

#2: I was stern with a couple of students today.  They discovered that horror of horrors, I get some of my lecture examples from the gasp textbook.  And they figured they could just read the textbook during class rather than paying attention to lecture.  And you know, snicker about it.  Obnoxiously.  So then I asked them how to do a problem.  He was like, “the answer is 2.09.”  And I asked how he got that.  He didn’t know.  So I asked someone who had been paying attention in class.  She knew.  Then I told him maybe if he’d been paying attention during lecture… I teach a 3 hour class

#1: me too. It makes me want to DIE.

#2: I got an email at the break from a student saying “I overslept, here’s my homework.”  I replied, “Class is still going on.”  There was a good hour more he could have been learning.

#1: just sack up and be like “I’m not coming to class today.” Make your choice, and take the consequences. Geez.

#2: sucks for him because this chapter is really tough, and it will be on the midterm and final

#1: ha!

#2: I’m full of so much hate today.  That’s what happens when I lecture for 3 hours when I’m sick and two of my students are disrespectful.  My students have taken to wandering in 5 min late.  Today I said screw it

#1: I would do a pop quiz in the first 2 minutes of class.

#2: ha.  but then I would have to grade them, and that would suck

#1: nah, just collect the pop quizzes, put the fear of time into their hearts, then categorize as done/not-done.

#2: I just didn’t give the homework solutions to the late students.

#1: GOOD FOR YOU

Ok readers, who will be the first to amuse us with a witty comment?

16 Responses to “Student dumbhattery”

  1. Comrade PhysioProf Says:

    Three hour classes are f***en ridiculous. There is no way for faculty or students to pay attention for that long. When I was in college, many of our three-hour classes were scheduled on Thursday evenings from six to nine. During the break, we would rush over to the bar and down as many tequila shots as possible before rushing back.

  2. Leah Says:

    I teach a three hour class — one hour of discussion and two of lab. Not quite the same as a three hour lecture. I don’t mind three hour classes as long as it’s not three hours of the same thing for the whole time.

    I totally get the same emails from my students. My “favorites” are the ones who consistently email me about not being able to make Monday class (“can’t get a ride back,” “family event,” etc). My response after receiving at least two of these from students? “Perhaps you should not sign up for Monday classes if you are unable to plan far enough in advance to arrive back on campus for your commitments.”

    Oh, and when I notice a fair number of people are late/not there, I throw out a 5 point assignment. The assignment? Coming to class on time. I congratulate everyone there for their work and move on.

  3. Linda Says:

    Sorry, I overslept. What did I miss?

  4. Renee in BC Says:

    Pretty cheeky, emailing the prof DURING class.

    Love not handing out solutions to late arrivals, as well as Leah’s 5-pt assignment.

    Linda – lol

    I wouldn’t last five minutes as a prof. Wouldn’t know how to be semi-gracious (a.k.a. not outright nasty) when dealing with lame, excuse-making 20-yr-olds. Hats off to you both.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Acting semi-gracious takes work. That’s why we vent here on the blog!

      For a while I had a class that thought I really loved them, because the more I hated them the more I would smile.

  5. frugalscholar Says:

    I finally figured it out: this is the crabby teacher phase of the semester. This is followed by student panic. Followed by angry teacher. Followed by serene teacher.

  6. Trish Says:

    college is one experience where people don’t seem to want to get their money’s worth!

    • Leah Says:

      haha, you’re so right Trish. It really bugs me when classes are canceled, because I’ve *paid* for that class. I’m not sure the undergrads at my school get that. Perhaps to them, “their money’s worth” = a good grade.

  7. Revanche Says:

    I was still obedient for much of college. I wouldn’t have dared to make excuses! Except for that philosophy class during which quarter I was newly working 80 hours the week and hadn’t learned to cope so literally couldn’t keep my eyes open. Sorry good-natured philosophy prof! (I showed up for EVERY class… I just didn’t make it through every single one ….) Even then, I was just sheepishly hiding in back, hoping he wouldn’t notice my lapses.

    Oh students.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I really don’t mind that much if a student quietly falls asleep on the side or something. At least it’s not disruptive. And I won’t claim I never dozed off in a class, myself…

      • Revanche Says:

        Heheh. Non-disruptive yes, but it’s been an age and I STILL FEEL GUILTY.

        I don’t feel guilty about tons of things. Wasting someone’s time or my money (in this case, both?): *tsk*

  8. becca Says:

    One option for handling the late-student issue: add a bizarre extra credit question to your next test (the kind with a simple fill-in-the-blank answer, for easy-as-you-please grading), then give out the question ahead of time in the first five minutes of a class. Ideally, the question should be something hilarious, vaguely on topic for the course but not covered anywhere in the text or lectures, and in the top 2-3 hits of Google if the student can search ahead of time.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I’ve been known to say, “Pop quiz time. What color sweater is Dr. #2 wearing today? For anyone who’s color blind, my sweater is blue. Write down ‘blue’. Turn it in. Ok, thanks.”


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