Hey kids. Your friend Hellapissed here with handy-dandy life advice!
- Don’t antagonize, bait, irk, and otherwise fash the person responsible for your final grade. Why would you do that? Yes, I am a professional and probably it won’t affect the grade you earn. Probably.
- Don’t be a dick.
- As my dad told me, “If you want to drink soda, go to the grocery store and buy a case. It’s way cheaper than getting it from the vending machine.”
- More great advice from dad: “Never close the car door unless you are holding the keys in your hand.” Wish I’d taken that one to heart a little sooner and better than I did at first.
- If you have an electric toothbrush that vibrates all around, and you just put some toothpaste on it, make sure the toothbrush is all the way in your mouth before hitting the ON button.
- You can’t solve major life problems at 2am. Just go to bed. You can think about it more later when you wake up.
- Apparently diatomaceous earth is great for keeping the creepy-crawlies out of your house while not poisoning your beloved housemates. Who knew? Diatoms are cool.
- Clothes don’t fit. They just don’t. Yes, I know: take them to the tailor. Then they will fit. Two months later, you’re a different size and they don’t fit again. Give up. There is no hope.
#2, would you like to add any advice?
- If you have the same problem every single fricking month… well, maybe it is time to try something different because whatever it is you’re doing, you don’t seem to be happy with the results. Just sayin’. Either try to fix the problem or stop complaining.