Helpful Hints from Hellapissed

Hey kids.  Your friend Hellapissed here with handy-dandy life advice!

  • Don’t antagonize, bait, irk, and otherwise fash the person responsible for your final grade.  Why would you do that?  Yes, I am a professional and probably it won’t affect the grade you earn.  Probably.
  • Don’t be a dick.
  • As my dad told me, “If you want to drink soda, go to the grocery store and buy a case.  It’s way cheaper than getting it from the vending machine.”
  • More great advice from dad: “Never close the car door unless you are holding the keys in your hand.”  Wish I’d taken that one to heart a little sooner and better than I did at first.
  • If you have an electric toothbrush that vibrates all around, and you just put some toothpaste on it, make sure the toothbrush is all the way in your mouth before hitting the ON button.
  • You can’t solve major life problems at 2am.  Just go to bed.  You can think about it more later when you wake up.
  • Apparently diatomaceous earth is great for keeping the creepy-crawlies out of your house while not poisoning your beloved housemates.  Who knew?  Diatoms are cool.
  • Clothes don’t fit.  They just don’t.  Yes, I know: take them to the tailor.  Then they will fit.  Two months later, you’re a different size and they don’t fit again.  Give up.  There is no hope.

#2, would you like to add any advice?

  • If you have the same problem every single fricking month… well, maybe it is time to try something different because whatever it is you’re doing, you don’t seem to be happy with the results.  Just sayin’.  Either try to fix the problem or stop complaining.
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17 Responses to “Helpful Hints from Hellapissed”

  1. eemusings Says:

    I love #2s advice. So obvious, so true.

  2. First Gen American Says:

    I have one to add, given the way I’m feeling this morning.

    Don’t expect your brain to function properly when you are sick

  3. Linda Says:

    I’m really cranky today, too. There are too many work things piling up on top of each other! I feel like whining at length, but I’ll stop myself here.

  4. Dr. O Says:

    I’m just tired today. Monkey is waking up earlier since we got back from travels, which means I have no time to get some coffee in me before he wakes up. Which means I’m a crank most of the morning. I should stop complaining since he’s also sleeping through the night. But I want to complain a little. Sorry #2 – I can’t fix this one so easy. ;|

  5. MutantSupermodel Says:

    Doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results is the definition of madness.

  6. Jacq Says:

    Hey – we can look on the bright side – doing the right thing over and over and having other people tell us it won’t work is also madness. Their madness.
    And a simple rule – unless you’ve tried to do something to change things, no bitching allowed.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I think you’re also allowed to bitch if you’re doing it to get suggestions on what changes to make.

      Also, in some cases if you preface with, “I don’t want advice right now, I just want to complain.” And then try to do something to fix it after you’ve had some time to settle down.

  7. Comrade PhysioProf Says:

    If you have the same problem every single fricking month… well, maybe it is time to try something different because whatever it is you’re doing, you don’t seem to be happy with the results. Just sayin’. Either try to fix the problem or stop complaining.

    INTERNAL GRUMPY RUMBLE!!!! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!!!!!!

  8. SS4BC Says:

    Amen to the first one. I never understood the angry, bitchy student. Some people need to be taught about flies and honey and vinegar.

  9. Rumpus Says:

    Regarding soda, I had this mental conversation today. I was getting a burger for lunch and the free-refill sodas/tea were like $2. I went back and forth on it, to the amusement of the person on the other side of the counter, and ended up getting the tea. I believe I got my $2 out of the experience, but I hope that I don’t make too many other such purchases without noticing. Also, I should probably drink more water…even if I really don’t like the taste of the tap water around here.


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