I have to pee a lot these days. Before I had a kid, or rather, before we started potty-training, if I had to leave a meeting early or something at work to use the restroom (if looked askance), I would say, “I had/need to use the restroom.” Then came potty training and a lot more comfort with bodily functions, and I say, “I gotta/hadta pee,” or occasionally, “I haveta go potty.” Which is silly and unprofessional, but pretty much all my colleagues are at that point as well.
Back in college, I would say, “I must needs micturate” because in college one can say things like that.
Growing up, we would use the euphemisms “big” and “little” for #2 and #1 respectively. DH’s family uses the standard poo and pee so we went with that. My grandma would always talk about her dogs widdling (whereas our cat “used the litterbox.”)
Here are some options from #2:
wee
tinkle
urine
wee wee
golden showers
peepee
What words do you use for pee? Have they changed throughout your life?
Grumpy Rumblings (of the formerly untenured) 
December 29, 2011 at 7:52 am
I miss the UK. They had a term, “the loo” for the toilet. So you could say, “I have to go to the loo” and be dead on accurate without feeling like you were being crude or over-sharing, and without weird euphemisms. (Restroom? I’m not taking a nap there! Bathroom? Many don’t have baths and I’m not taking a bath there, either!)
I’ve heard the term “making dirt” for cats.
December 29, 2011 at 9:46 pm
you could also say “head” for “loo”. Nobody says “lavatory” anymore, which anyway is like “washroom”.
Widdle. heehee.
December 29, 2011 at 9:07 am
I think you left out ‘CaCa.’ I remember being at a dinner party where the toddler came in the dining room and announced with a big, satisfied smile, “I just went caca all by myself.” We all applauded. And then her mother hustled her out of the room!
December 29, 2011 at 10:09 am
go to loo is most common used downunder but as an ex-nurse I’ve heard a lot!
shake the snake
take a leak
siphon the python
tinkle
go-potty
spend a penny
take a piss
do a pee
go wee – wees
use the ladies room
powder my nose
… and I’m sure there are more! :)
December 29, 2011 at 10:42 am
Also whiz… if that’s how you spell it, as in, “I’m a gonna go take a whiz now.”
December 29, 2011 at 10:44 am
I gotta go take a whiz!
December 29, 2011 at 11:21 am
Haha. Growing up we used ‘pee’ or ‘big pee’ for poop, and ‘pee pee’ for pee. We just go with pee/poop now for the toddler. I remember being REALLY confused as a kid, because I heard it as ‘P’ and ‘PP’ and so totally didn’t understand when my mom told me the proper word was ‘urine’. I was expecting it to start with ‘p’ and be some kind of abbreviation :)
December 29, 2011 at 11:22 am
Also, at what point do I get to “use the facilities” by myself again? I’ve always got company these days, even though the toddler does NOT want to actually try it herself.
December 29, 2011 at 4:08 pm
Umm… well, my 4.5 year old will still barge in sometimes, but we’re working on that.
Of course, the 2 year old is in the “actively insist on coming with” phase so it won’t do me much good to finish convincing the 4.5 year old not to barge in.
On the original question- we use pee and poop (me)/poo (husband- he’s foreign, what can you do?)
I’ve heard men refer to peeing as “draining the weasel”
Also, from my Irish ex- go for a slash.
December 29, 2011 at 5:18 pm
OMG – draining the weasel?! holy crap that’s hilarious!!!
December 29, 2011 at 11:27 am
I say “I need to be excused” or “I need to use the restroom” in group situations but I never thought much of the actual words. Pamela is right, I am not resting in there! If I am around friends, then I will say “I have to pee”. As a kid I was all about “tinkle” or “sprinkle”. My nephew likes to say “wiz/whiz”? Not sure of the correct spelling.
My husband says piss but for the “big” he says:
drop the kids off at the pool
I have a duty to fulfill
We have many euphemisms for the dreaded “1 1/2” but those are not so polite.
December 29, 2011 at 12:58 pm
It’s to the point in Spanish – «hacer pis» or «hacer pipí»
December 29, 2011 at 3:03 pm
In Mongolia, there is a charmingly specific euphemism. If you are going to go urinate outside somewhere (which is common, things being what they are in Mongolia) you say “I’m going to go look at the horses.” Which is euphemistic but generally also true, since there usually are a few horses around to look at while you’re peeing. But the catch is that you can’t use this euphemism if you are using a toilet.
Which brings me to:
I will ask someone where their bathroom is, since that’s what we call it.
Depending on how easily offended I think my interlocutor, I might say “I need to pee” or “I need to use the toilet.” In some circumstances I might say, “Excuse me, I need to use the ladies’.” That last has the advantage (or maybe just characteristic, sometimes desired but sometimes irrelevant) of being extremely nonspecific about what I will be doing in there.
December 29, 2011 at 4:33 pm
Itte’s definitely “whiz”.
December 29, 2011 at 7:49 pm
I don’t talk about such things. Talking about things makes them more likely to happen. I’m just thankful that our publicly elected officials have managed to create some laws requiring videogames to be rated by the level of “bathroom” events: A for all clean, B for barely any, C for creating much water, D for dropping the kids off at the pool, and F for …let’s not go there. Unfortunately, ever since the “hot coffee” mod for My Little Pony, even games that initially were considered all clean are now suspect and grounds for a visit from the Spanish Inquisition (and their comfy chair).
Uh, and now I feel obligated to state that I’m actually not against ratings on video games or Senator Clinton…but it blows my mind that the FTC was called in against Rockstar.
December 29, 2011 at 8:55 pm
With Monkey, we’re pretty much locked into to “pee / poop” or “peepee / poopoo”. I don’t announce my own poop needs at work, but I have been known to say “I’ve gotta pee” in the lab. Considering some of the things I’ve heard come out of labmates’ mouths, I’m not sure I have too much to worry about on the professionalism scale. ;)
December 29, 2011 at 8:57 pm
Also, Hubby has some interesting ones akin to “draining the weasel” mentioned above, but I don’t know that I have the, ahem, *balls* to mention them here.
December 29, 2011 at 9:48 pm
NOW I’M CURIOUS! THE PEOPLE DEMAND TO KNOW!
December 31, 2011 at 11:19 pm
I think the term ‘golden showers’ has a sexual connotation, as in, it refers to a specific sexual fetish.
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