Drunkblogging

(written by the non-preggers one of us… obvs… )

#1:  I came home from work and started drinking on an empty stomach.  This semester I must resolve to stay out of department and campus drama.  If I think about how bad things are I will just be angry all the time.  I should really try to care way way less about the lack of respect I’m getting.

#2:  was today your first teaching day or something?

#1:  no but first day of faculty on contract; college-wide meetings
#2: next time bring the alcohol with
in a thermos with hot chocolate they’ll never know

#1:   SO FIRST my travel request to a conference was denied for no stated reason.
then an administrator gave a 2-hr speech about strategic planning in which ze said how much ze hates research (not in so many words)
also a lawyer talked for 20 min straight about discrimination laws “here are some examples of harassment. Don’t do them. Here is a list of protected classes. I shall repeat them like 5 times.” [Note: we all did the required online training.  It was less detailed than that, but seemed to last forever.  Duh.]
and the ethernet in my office died over break for no real reason.

#2:   Alcohol in an insulated mug with chocolate.  It’s how I got through my philosophy class in college.
#1:  also it was cold out, and we had to SIGN IN for this meeting so ze can see if people are coming.
 Also I have some beer.
#2:  don’t drunk dial your partner
don’t make out with an ex boyfriend tonight
#1: I should probaly not drunkblogge

#2: no no, just don’t drunkposte.  we could use some drunkblogges
I’ll go over it before it posts to make sure you don’t leave any “F*ck You [name of university]” in.

 #1 : hehehe
  right
  and I don’t wanna be all [censored] in it
 #2: every single post queued up next week except the ask the grumpies is about kids
 #1: I’ll see if I can change that??
 #2: one of those could easily be moved another week
  apparently all I have to say anything about is money and kids
and the money post is about kids
  so…
#1: hahaha
 #2: Tuesday would make an excellent drunkblogge post
 #1: I will try to work on stuff perhaps about rage and drunkenness and how good my life is with partner except for things.
 #2: sure
  We’re gonna be ok. We have our men.   And OMG, at least we don’t have the lives of some of these humanities profs that started teaching this week
 #1:  yeah, more and more I’m thinking of getting out of this job but the alternatives are not better

#2: I shoudl go to sleep
don’t get too hungover
drink gatorade or something

#1: I’ll be fine
  I have only 1 beer

#2:   ah, that’s not so drunk blogging
unless you’re a lightweight
mildly buzzed blogging

 #1: I am a lightweight
 #2: tipsy blogging!
#1: yup
 #2: wherein you flirt with wordpress
  and giggle a lot
 #1: heee

23 Responses to “Drunkblogging”

  1. Comrade PhysioProf Says:

    “the money post is about kids”

    You sold your kids and used the proceeds to accelerate paying off your mortgage and saved $3.57 in interest!

  2. feMOMhist Says:

    I’m reliably informed that the booze in coffee travel mug is how many a parent makes it through wretched kid events like t-ball or pee wee soccer. I’ve yet the guts to try it myself

  3. bogart Says:

    Pizza, followed by beer. Works for me (actually I’m more of a red wine gal, but trying not to discriminate)!

    • feMOMhist Says:

      at game or before? See before doesn’t work for me as I’m lightweight and cannot reliably drive offsprings to field after even 1 drink. Could be great team fundraiser no? Selling booze on the DL out of my minivan?

  4. Bryan at Pinch that Penny! Says:

    If you do bring a specially prepared thermos to work meetings, just make sure not to give the game away by following someone else’s asinine comment with, “You people are why I drink!”

  5. chacha1 Says:

    Bailey’s hides extremely well in hot Ovaltine. And Amaretto masquerades as soymilk. Or so I’m told.

    I sometimes think the cruelest thing about the modern U.S. business environment is that it’s no longer “okay” to have a drink with lunch.

  6. Rumpus Says:

    Sometimes as I add vanilla extract to my coffee in the morning I ponder how vanilla extract is basically flavored vodka and I’m tempted to just go ahead and make it an Irish coffee. I don’t because jeesh that’d be a downward spiral….and I’d probably get all sorts of questions about how I seem to smell like vanilla all the time.

  7. rented life Says:

    A bunch of my colleagues used to show up to graduation drunk (we were all required to be there). It’s fantastic when you’re all sitting on a stage, in the front for all the students and parents to see, and the dude next to you reeks, is talking to…well someone, it was never clear who, and was dangerously close to falling out of his chair. All I’m saying is: find that line. Unless of course, your goal is to freak out those next to you.

    I had those awful meetings last week and I just brought work to do. So did the people I sat with. Makes things more tolerable.

  8. mom2boy Says:

    Am I the only person that drinking (alcohol in coffee) at Saturday morning soccer/basketball/tball wouldn’t have occurred to? The wife of the coach referenced it and now here. Is it that bad for most people or do I just not think to drink early enough in the day?

  9. MutantSupermodel Says:

    Wheeeee! I need to possibly abuse alcohol a little more often in my life.

  10. Funny about Money Says:

    LOL! Been there. Still there.

    Fun post…but be careful of what’s hiding behind it. Like everyone else at GDU, after a few years in harness I found myself wanting, nay, needing a drink to unwind after a day like this. And whaddaya know? Almost every day at GDU is a day like that.

    Time passed and I learned a) that just about everyone I knew was doing the same thing (or indulging in harder types of intoxicants); b) at least two therapists in the Valley had developed practices that specialized in GDU employees; and c) a Starbucks mug makes good camouflage.

    One of my colleagues is a full-blown alcoholic. Nothing like chairing a department to push you over the line from recreational tippling to hard drinkin’. And I write this with a tall bourbon and water at my side. I don’t drink as much as she does, but I do drink every day, and I do not limit my little self to one swiggle. This may be OK when you’re in your 20s and 30s (maybe), but as you get older you get more prone to ailments like, oh, say diabetes. Two or three boozie-poos a day do nothing good for that tendency.

    In retrospect, I’d probably look for some other way to soothe my nerves. Torturing the neighbors’ cats, maybe…

  11. femmefrugality Says:

    I love you guys for this! Totally agree with #2….you need more drunk blogs!


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