Signage memes I hate

Driving around this place sometimes makes me ragey about the things stores choose to put on their signs out front.

My number one most hated meme: your husband says it’s ok for you to make independent choices.  Or spend “his” money, I guess.  Wow, awesome.

Actual signs:  “Hubby called, says ok to get $30 manicure!”

“Your husband called, he said buy as many beads as you want!”

It’s so wrong I don’t even know where to start!  You can’t communicate in your relationship… the two of you have control issues… your husband has to send a note to the teacher because little you can’t be trusted… ew ew ew ew.

In addition, I got all ragey at V-day advertising and told my partner he is NOT ALLOWED to get me chocolate or flowers on or around Feb. 14th.  Any other time of year is fine, but not for Valentine’s day.  The expectation of it grosses me out more than usual this year.  I mean, I like flowers.  I like roses.  Of course I like dark chocolate.  I like getting gifts and cards.  But the one-day doing-it-cuz-I-have-to thing is grating on my nerves in an entirely sandpapery way right now.  [#2 does not celebrate v-day with her partner, but it also doesn’t particularly bother her either.  Christmas is really the only commercial holiday she celebrates.  Mostly it’s the benefit from celebrating these holidays doesn’t outweigh the costs for her.  #2 also hates cut flowers, so her partner is not allowed to get them ever, v-day or not.]

Grumpy readers, what makes you see red?

35 Responses to “Signage memes I hate”

  1. Practical Parsimony Says:

    Signs that make me see red, only two, but I turn them to my benefit. I absolutely use the parking space for pregnant women and mohers of ill children. If I had not given birth and lugged around ill toddlers and older children, my back surgery I need would never have been in the picture…so there!

    Okay, I have three signs. When I go to a hospital, I park in the spots designated for ministers if they are closest thing I can find. After marriage and divorce from a minister, this perk was hard earned.

    By the way, I have never seen signs that says a husband allows a purchase. If I did, I would have to object to store manager and corporate. That is perpetuating abuse of women on several levels.

    I would rather have a plant/bulb for the ground, but I will absolutely love any holiday that promises chocolate. That said, I bought my own Valentine chocolate this year since I am not dating anyone at this time. Plus, I get the kind I want and don’t have to ask anyone’s permission or wonder if the chocolate will be forthcoming. It’s just easier for me.

  2. Pamela Says:

    It sounds churlish of me, but those bumper sticker sayings/dime store philosophy posts that used to make email glurge rounds and now get put on every third person’s Facebook wall. They annoy me to the point where I feel like I’m being unreasonable and I end up taking those people off of my feed.

    Also,the “Repost this if you belive in X. X is important because Y. I’ll bet 99% of you won’t repost this.” Yeah, you’re right. I’m not going to repost that.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I HATE THAT. I never, ever repost. Because I am evil that way. Also, most of them are about issues I don’t care about. Does anyone really think that a facebook status will cure cancer?

  3. feMOMhist (@feMOMhist) Says:

    wait I’m confused, are these actual signs inside businesses? or advertising slogans? clearly I’m not paying attention. Like P.P. I get plants, almost always for mother’s day and sciDAD plants them, which is even better. I buy flowers all the time for myself but none during vday week as the prices shoot up.

  4. myscientificlife Says:

    I hate the word hubby (is it even a word?!). My favorite things about Valentines day is that it is over and chocolate is now 50% off. I hate that the only message you hear for Valentines day is that the female (of course only in a hetero relationship) should expect chocolate, flowers, and shiny things, like the male is on a payment plan to date her. If you couldn’t tell already, my boyfriend and I don’t celebrate it.

  5. Perpetua Says:

    You know what I hate? Those little decals people put on the back of their cars (almost inevitably an SUV or minivan) that represent the family – you know, the mommy stick figure, the daddy, the various children and the pets. WTH? While I can kind of see why people think they’re cute, where does the impulse to advertise your family on the back of the car come from? Those people – the actual people – are often inside the actual car. So why the weird representation? So weird to me, but it feels very heteronormative.

  6. Linda Says:

    I’d be enraged seeing signs like that, too. I’ve never seen anything like it in store windows in Chicago. Except for groceries I don’t shop very often, though, so I could have missed something.

    I’ve been getting pretty bent out of shape whenever I see car commercials these days. So many stress the “fuel economy” of vehicles, but I don’t see how getting just over 30 MPG on the highway is so fuel efficient. Seriously!!?? I drove a Honda CRX back in the early 1990s that got over 50 MPG on the highway, and it wasn’t even a hybrid. Why can’t I buy a car like that in the U.S. anymore? I see adverts from EU countries where cars are getting mileage that that Honday, too. The fact that a paltry 34 MPG is considered “high fuel economy” in the U.S. saddens and enrages me.

    I keep holding on to my old car because it’s still running and I’ve yet to see something that I would want to buy since they are all gas guzzling POSs. I so hope car sharing comes to my neighborhood. That way I could completely eliminate my car when it finally dies.

    My guy and I spent VD at home and ordered in for the night. I can buy my own chocolate and flowers when I want them.

    • Debbie M Says:

      Another vote against the fuel economy thing. My 1984 Nissan Sentra usually got 38 MPG in the city. My new (2008) Toyota Corolla only gets around 29, and the later model is much worse, and the tinier reliable models are just as bad.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Yeah, those car things make me angry. Fuel economy? Dude, it’s like 32 mpg highway. THAT’S NOT ANY GOOD! I want over 40 for sure. If only the cost of buying a prius or something paid off, but it doesn’t. It might in Europe, where gas is more expensive. But then I also wouldn’t have to drive as far. And there might be public transit. Rrrgh.

  7. MutantSupermodel Says:

    I’ve seen those signs. I just roll my eyes.
    I can’t think of anything that makes me see red right now. I’m in a happy place.

  8. Grace Says:

    Back in the day, (late sixties, early seventies) I used to see bumper stickers that read: This (picture of a cross); Not this (peace sign). I was so confused to think that peace was incompatible with Christianity!

  9. Cloud Says:

    I can honestly say I’ve never seen a sign like you describe. I agree, though, I doubt I’d give any money to a place that had one, at least not if I could help it.

    I can’t really think of anything similar that annoys me, but I’m sure that is a memory problem and not an indication of my blissful existence.

    But… there was an admin at my last company whose email signature said “please think of the environment before you print this email”, which was vaguely annoying and condescending. But then I saw what she drove, and it just started amusing me. She drove an Expedition. I wanted to make a sticker that said “please think of the environment before you drive this car” and stick it on her windshield, but I was too chicken.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I imagine there might be a sit-in in front of the store if someone put something up like that in California. Maybe in orange county…

    • bogart Says:

      Ha! Actually someone did put a bumper sticker on my DH’s (our) Suburban (yes, he drove one) that said, “This vehicle emits [various gasses] and is harmful to [various things we care about, like children, dogs and daisies].” DH was outraged and removed it; I wanted just to leave it and get a bumper sticker that said, “But, it will pull a horse trailer.”

    • anandi Says:

      OMG, I totally would have left an anonymous note :)

  10. eemusings Says:

    Sentences beginning “I don’t want to sound like a feminist…”

  11. Debbie M Says:

    I’ve never seen any hubby-gives-permission signs. Sickening. (Sometimes tunnel vision is a good thing.)

    Are they at least still only advertising flowers, chocolate, and jewelry? Because at Christmas time, it’s truly pathetic what all gets advertised. Like home security systems. (Which actually would be a better Valentine’s Day present than Christmas present, now that I think about it.) I always think so many industries must be truly desperate and it makes me sad.

    This is on a billboard I hate: “Want to teach? When can you start?”

  12. Practical Parsimony Says:

    This is sort of off the subject, but flowers, cards, candy and KY Jelly seemed to take the center aisles and endcaps. It was sort of unnerving, and I don’t know why.

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