You are destroying your child by allowing hir to think

Research shows that children whose parents who allow them to think end up socially maladjusted in middle school.  Sometimes they don’t get a date to prom.  They’re also not considered physically attractive by their peers.

Kids who spend time reading don’t spend enough time watching TV.  Even if they get in some screen time every day, they do not have enough to truly keep up with their peers.

Kids need lots of sleep.  If your child isn’t getting the average amount of sleep needed, then you are harming your child’s mental abilities.  Having your child lie awake with no distractions in a crib is better for hir than allowing hir to play on the computer.  We all know that unsupervised screen time is harmful to children.

Allowing one’s child to think is also harmful to parents.  They are branded, “pushy,” and socially condemned if they are egotistical enough to talk about their children instead of quietly listening when others talk about theirs.

This public service announcement brought to you by disgruntled grumpies.


19 Responses to “You are destroying your child by allowing hir to think”

  1. Leigh Says:

    The subject line of this post made me cackle.

    Research also shows that they will not have sex in high school or kiss boys and that kids who are left to think are terribly uncoordinated and can’t play sports.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Hm… girls aren’t supposed to have sex in high school (*cough* *cough*). Maybe thinking is only bad for boys… Except it makes girls so ugly and intimidating. Girls should not have sex in high school because they’re virtuous and pure, not because nobody wants to do them.

      • Leigh Says:

        Yes, it is also really important to let your kid go spray tanning and wear buckets of make-up. *nods* That way, no one will know that they can think!

  2. mom2boy Says:

    I have heard, but not researched, that there is a positive correlation between who girls playing sports in middle and high school and self-esteem. And not in the high school boy athlete way.
    Again, I am so excited for my nerd son to learn to read. I spent countless hours out of my mom’s hair reading. I don’t know that he will do the same or need the same hide-a-way but still. Reading is cooler than baseball. There I said it.

  3. Thisbe Says:

    Just a small note, not disagreeing with your basic point – there is decent science associating working on a bright screen at night and sleep deprivation/insomnia. The light tricks the brain into thinking it is not bedtime and one feels more awake; this can result in a positive feedback loop and insufficient sleep.
    This is a growing problem in our culture, but obviously I have no idea whether it affects your kid, and that is fundamentally not my business. I am sure you are a great parent.

    I do know that I see a lot of people who claim that they are just not sleepy at nine or ten at night and have to stay up for several more hours doing computer things. These same people cannot stay awake sitting in a darkened room at ten o’clock or eleven in the morning.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Silly Thisbe, you seem to think kids are only supposed to sleep at night. Don’t you know they’re supposed to have two three hour naps each day?

      • Jacq Says:

        You really have to stop reading those parenting forums. ;-)

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        It’s actually an old post (haven’t been on a parenting forum in *ages*)! (It was started and in the unfinished posts for a long time, but only finished recently.) Now that DC is in K, nobody comments on hir lack of napping etc. A nice benefit so long as they don’t know ze is young for hir grade (and now that ze is 5, how are they to know?).

  4. Bardiac Says:

    I know I would like a nap each day. 20 minutes would do!

  5. Cloud Says:

    Also, if you don’t force your child to eat vegetables now he or she will NEVER eat them. And we all know there is no worse fate than to be an adult who doesn’t eat brussel sprouts.

  6. bogart Says:

    Also, remember, don’t overschedule your child (covered elsewhere on this blog, I know). But also, s/he must progress in the chosen activity and not merely — oh the horror! — enjoy it!

  7. MutantSupermodel Says:

    It feels good to giggle

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