Google Questions Answered

Q:  how much did you pay for graduate school

A:  Nothing.  Except, of course, opportunity costs and sanity.

Q:  how easy is it to change a paid off mortgage into someone elses name if the current owner still has other debra

A:  If the mortgage is paid off, it no longer exists… Perhaps you mean changing the title to the house?

Q:  what would you do if you didn’t have school

A:  Apparently the answer is:  Work!

Q:  if i have my house paid off, will i be protected from a depression?

A:  Nope!  Ya still gotta eat.

Q:  do masters grades matter?

A:  Yes and no.  It depends on what you want to do afterward.  If you’re doing an MA because your BA grades were not good and you want to get into a PhD program, then yes, your grades matter.  If you just want a job… probably not.  What does matter is what you learn on the program and your ability to think critically once you graduate.

Q:  are vertical blinds still in style

A:  Sadly, no.

Q:  how do people live after they pay off their mortgage

A:  Oxygen in, Carbon Dioxide out, regular ingestion of water and nutrients (followed by expulsion of waste)…

Q:  when baby start food without lying

A:  Usually babies are capable of starting food before they are capable of lying (generally between 6-12 months– and they’ll let you know by being interested in food and not having a tongue thrust reflex).   Unless you mean being prone, in which case solid food should not be fed to babies who are lying down.  (Milk from the tap is ok, milk or formula from the bottle should also be fed in an upright position.)

Q:  are teachers notified about comments they receive on rmp

A:  No, thank goodness.

Q:  can you email professors over the summer

A:  Nope.  It’s absolutely impossible.  If you try, you cause rifts in the space-time continuum and make it easier for the great monster Gathuzula to get through to carry out his sinister plans to destroy the earth and all we hold dear.  (Note:  this is not true if you are also a professor yourself, especially if you are my coauthor.  Radio silence is not cool!)

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10 Responses to “Google Questions Answered”

  1. EarlyToBed Says:

    Hilarious! Thank you

  2. Debbie M Says:

    “Q: if i have my house paid off, will i be protected from a depression?
    A: Nope! Ya still gotta eat.”

    Your house is not even protected because it can be confiscated to pay property taxes. (Or at least, back in The Depression it could. Nowadays, I wouldn’t be surprised if the government stepped in and disallowed that for a while.) Not to mention natural disasters causing damage.

    But property taxes are waaaay cheaper than property taxes + principal + interest + required insurance. And even in the Depression, 3/4 of the people had some kind of job, so it might have still been possible to pay something. Plus, if you have any room to let people join you (when they get evicted), you might get some help from them, too. (Or you might just get the people who do not have any income to help with.)

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      In some states they can still take your house if you don’t pay your HOA fees!

      • Debbie M Says:

        Right. Bleh. You never really own your house. It’s even worse with condos. But you can get the rent down by paying off the purchase price. I wonder what it would be like if there was a (one-time) sales tax instead of a (never-ending) property tax.

  3. MutantSupermodel Says:

    Q: can you email professors over the summer

    A: Nope. It’s absolutely impossible. If you try, you cause rifts in the space-time continuum and make it easier for the great monster Gathuzula to get through to carry out his sinister plans to destroy the earth and all we hold dear. (Note: this is not true if you are also a professor yourself, especially if you are my coauthor. Radio silence is not cool!)

    LOL i needed that

  4. mareserinitatis Says:

    I miss vertical blinds. I had a kitten that would jump off the back of my loveseat and try to climb up the vertical blinds. Slid down them like he was on a firepole. Kept me entertained for hours. :-)

  5. rented life Says:

    I was informed by colleagues at (now former) CC that the president not only reads comments on rmp but used them in evaulating faculty for rehires etc. (They do not do student evals on a regular basis like other schools.) I was shocked. I don’t even check the site, but my office mate was obsessing over mine being good, so that the president would be happy.

    I wish my students wouldn’t e-mail me over the summer…or complain when I *gasp* don’t respond to e-mails immediately. The semester is over! Grades are in! Go away!


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