Google may not have all the answers, but we do

Q:  how do you pay for a phd when you have a family

A:  You don’t.  The PhD needs to pay you or you shouldn’t get it.  (Assuming you’re asking this question because you don’t have enough money, not that you’re asking which trust fund you should sell in order to keep up with your lifestyle while you’re away from being a middle-manager at daddy and mummy’s company.)

Q:  list 10 interview questions to ask her mother like about school life, etc

A:  Seriously, kid, if you’re trying to cheat on your homework now for these low-ball, no-wrong-answer sort of things, you’re going to be a huge PITA when you hit college.  Instead of asking the internet, sit down with a pencil and paper and just think about this a little bit. What kinds of questions would be interesting to you?

Q:  can la people tell youre from the midwest?

A:  People in LA will ask you where you’re from and all sorts of invasive questions before they have a chance to figure out you’re from the midwest based on your tells.

Q:  why does my husband feel bad for living a better life than his parents

A:  Was he raised Catholic?

Q:  how to teach someone not to take things that are not theirs

A:  If this someone is over the age of say, 4, you should probably seek professional help on this question.  For ages 4 and under, gently say, “No, this is X’s [thing].  We don’t take other people’s stuff.”

Q:  the inlaws got new carpet so no one got thr usual chridtmad money?

A:  Good for them!  You know, that money is a gift, not an entitlement.  You should not be expecting it.

Q:  how to make my face look friendly

A:  Probably not permanent makeup

Q:  how to transform the mean priming to percentual

A:  Um.  Math?

Q:  if you have a masters in accounting does that make you a phd

A:  No.

Q:  how do gifted students cope with stupid kids

A:  They grow up and write snarky blogs.

6 Responses to “Google may not have all the answers, but we do”

  1. L Says:

    But amusing snarky blogs. Thanks for the Friday grins!

  2. kt Says:

    Re: paying for grad school. I agree with you, but…

    I have a student who got into U Chicago for economics PhD and then another top-25 school for economics PhD. The other top-25 school will offer a stipend and tuition waiver. U Chicago won’t pay grad students for the first year or two; if you survive, then you’ll get a stipend. Notice I had to extend to top-25 rather than top-10 or some other small number. What should my student do if he’s pretty smart but not sure if he’ll come out on top at UC?

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Oooh I don’t know. #1 will have a better answer for this. I feel like this is still a bad bet, but it depends on your finances, risk tolerance, size of stipend, etc. Seems like a bad deal, still, to go without stipend, because how are you supposed to earn money without interrupting your research? But I’ll wait for #1’s answer.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        #1 didn’t even apply to UC Econ. If you send an email with more details, I can give you a longer (private) response. Important q: what is the other school, what does the kid want to do, can the kid get a research job for a year or two and apply again. Can the kid get a consol. Masters at paid place.

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