How would you do the division?

I was recently reading the comments section of an advice column (linked from that bad advice) and read this:

I figured this out after doing an activity in a personality styles class where I got people into groups of 10 and handed out a bag with 8 mini candy bars. I told them that the store didn’t have enough so that they’ll need to figure out how to divide them up.

It was fascinating to me as I watched class after class do the following: Group A (the group that was more people-focused in their preferences) would often try to solve this problem by first trying to figure out if anyone cannot eat candy (medical reasons or diet); then when a few dropped out that way, the others would often dither about and defer to others before they would take their own. I observed this type of personality continually considering individual circumstances in their quest for fairly dividing up the candy.

Group B, on the other hand (and these were the people that identified more as task-focused individuals), almost always used math or some really black and white tool to equally divide up the candy. There was no discussion about individual preferences, individual circumstances – they just figured everyone got the same side sliver as everyone else. End of story. It was amazing to watch.

I definitely fit into Group B here.  I think of the candy as an endowment, and they should be allowed to exchange their piece for goodwill or money or whatever it is they want, even if they don’t want to eat the candy themselves.  I’m not sure you get the same goodwill for saying in advance that you can’t have the candy because you’re diabetic as you do for giving someone else your piece.

Plus I’m not scared of doing things like figuring out how much 8/10 is (though cutting into fifths is a PITA).  All we need to make sure we have is a good clean knife and something to cut on.  I figure chocolate probably isn’t worth doing the extended fair division problem with.  (The one where one person cuts and the other person chooses the piece.  Actually, I think the process might be that 9 of the people make cuts, then the 1oth person chooses, then the 9th, and so on until the last person gets the dregs.  But that still sounds like too much hassle.)

Of course, it is possible that the person who drops the number from 9 to 8 gets everyone’s gratitude for not actually having to do the math or the cutting, even if the person who brings the number down from 10 to 9 isn’t worth much.

#2 notes:  I guess it would depend on context.  Are these people strangers? [So cultural expectations regarding first meetings are important!]  Are they going to have to work together again?  [So this is a repeated game!]

#1 agrees: I just assumed it was a class that was going to meet all semester.  And maybe you don’t want to be the person who pretends not to like chocolate when you really do because then you’re going to be a doormat the rest of the semester.  People take advantage of easy-going folks.  Better to show you’re giving a sacrifice, or a one-time sacrifice.

So, which type are you?

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Link love (and bonus bookish video)

Book hoarding 10th century style.

Show me the money or at least the course release.

Minimizing costs for last minute travel.

have you seen this website?

On not being good enough.  Another response here.

another reason not to dabble in real estate

did we link love this yet? I feel like maybe we did, but maybe not: stop telling women to smile

Paul Ryan, still a douchebagge

Merging bookshelves

Saw something said something

I agree with the last panel 

And finally, an adorable video called: The Girl Who Hated Books. Delightful!

Thank goodness for Google (and for us too)

Q:  .047 is written as what percent

A:  You need to know what the base number is.  Otherwise you can’t get a percent.  You can get a percentage point, and that would be .047* 100 = 4.7.  But that’s different than percent.

Q:  why is doing traditional computation not doing mathematics

A:  It is, just not much mathematics.

Q:  what percent of 5.036 is .047

A:  MATH.  [#2 adds:  is/(%|of) *100 … so .047/5.036 = .00933 *100 = 0.933]

Q:  why do humans do things thwy shouldnt do

A:  MATH.

Q:  what i can do after payoff mortgage to protect from collector

A:  Consult a bankruptcy attorney about the laws in your state.

Q:  why are teenagers forced to do things they don’t want to do

A:  For their own good or for the good of society?  Unless they’re in a bad situation and that just sucks.  :(

Q:  i work out and i feel fit but i am not losing any weight. should that bother me?

A:  Probably not.  (We are not a physician, but we play one on TV.)

#2 notes:  muscle weighs more than fat but takes up less space.

Q:  best part time jobs to pay off deb

A:  could you go to work for Deb directly?

Q:  what do people rather prefer pepperoni or cheese

A:  Both, and sausage too.

Q:  what’s your least favorite chore game

A:  Clean the Toilet.

Radical Self-Love: the feels.

I have feelings about this.

In this society, loving yourself is a radical act (for a woman).

I don’t have to have a flat tummy in order to love my body!  Rubens would love me.

The Three Graces

I used to have hangups, for a long long time, about not having a body that is sexy.  You know who to blame.  (#2 notes that, according to some popular science studies she’s read and chosen to believe, men either prefer meaty, or they really don’t care one way or the other.  I would be seriously surprised if #1’s SO didn’t find #1 incredibly sexy.  And that’s the only person who matters in a monogamous relationship.)  Shout out to my partner for always saying nice things about my body!

Now I’m too old for self-loathing or really any other shame.  I’m ready to change my mind.

I am thinking, NOT: “I am awesome anyway,” but rather: “I am awesome, yeah I am!”

I don’t have to have my stuff together in order to be awesome.  I am awesome independently of my career.

Also, this blog post resonated with me.  Don’t forget that The F-Off Fairy can help you, too!

#2 had a brief bout with imposter syndrome in grad school.  She didn’t like it.  Yay for therapy and for being unapologetically awesome.  I have occasionally wondered if it’s better to err on the side of Dunning-Kruger or the side of imposter syndrome and refer myself to the literature on how over-confidence helps people get ahead.  So I figure there’s no need to check my ego, thank you very much.  I probably deserve to have a much bigger one, what with being female and having society against me and all.  I credit my mother for my healthy self-esteem.  I would also credit my awesomeness, but I know plenty of people at least equally awesome who do not have the self-esteems they deserve.  For them, I blame the patriarchy.  (Also with weight I focus on health rather than body image, and with make-up and hair, I find that ‘frumpy’ helps people take me more seriously in my specific profession.  Also I am incredibly lazy.)

#1 again:  I decided to feel sorry for people who fat-shame (Mom…), rather than angry at them, because their words are a reflection of feeling terrifyingly out-of-control when someone’s body appears to be out of control.  Don’t contradict me on this point, I’m just sayin’.

Various messages are coming from the universe that it’s time to be done with the emotional drain of not thinking I’m awesome.

(#2:  SRSLY.  Because why think sucky things that aren’t true when you can think awesome things that are?)

Tell us in the comments what is totally awesome about you!

Cat update

We still have 5 indoor cats.  No takers for the (3) kittens.  We’ve become attached to Garage Cat.  On top of that, outdoor Patio Cat has truly become our Patio Cat.  He mostly hangs out on our back porch and shelters in our patio when the weather is bad.  He loves pettings more than food.  He wishes he could come inside.  He’s good friends with outdoor Mamacat (who makes the occasional appearance to eat, and is usually on the porch in the wee hours quietly hanging with Patio Cat), but she still shies away from us.  He and Garage Cat are still mortal enemies and my hand got majorly scratched up (from Garage Cat) the one time Garage Cat and Patio Cat ended up on the patio at the same time.

The two little black kittens are both super loving and adorable, even the one who used to be mean kitty.  It seems like whenever I sit down I get covered in kitten(s), or occasionally by Garage Cat.  Boy kitten doesn’t like to be picked up, but is otherwise a sweetheart.  He’s almost as big as a full-sized cat, but the girl kittens are still smaller.

Garage cat and the kittens get along really well now.  They play together and Garage cat sometimes grooms the younger kitties.

My sister was going to take a kitten or two, but then her roommate got engaged and she’s waiting until she finds a new roommate to commit in case the new roommate is allergic or otherwise doesn’t like cats.  Really she should take Garage Cat because he’s so well-behaved and she’s not very experienced with pets, but Garage Cat is long-haired and she’s worried he will get hair on her furniture.  We believe this illustrates how she has No Idea about cats or kittens if a little fur is her biggest worry.

My MIL says she’ll take one, but just one, if we get it to her this summer.

One (or more) of the kittens, we’re not sure which one, occasionally pees on our bed.  I do not like this.  And I worry about said kitten ending up someplace that might not be as forgiving as we are.  At some point we’ll figure out which one it is and take it to the vet for a work-up to rule out physical causes.  It can’t be lack of litter boxes because we have 7 boxes for 5 cats, all of different shapes, sizes, and privacy, and they get cleaned out every day once or twice a day.  And they have no problem using them.  Just occasionally one will pee on the bed in addition to regular litter box use.

So that’s the cat update.  This time last year we had two middle-aged indoor cats.  Now we have 5 indoor cats and 2 outdoor cats.  That’s too many.  But that’s what we have for now.

Why I rent instead of buying

One of us owns a house and one of us doesn’t.  The one who doesn’t (me) is in a location where I *could* afford to buy, but I’m not.

Linda wanted a post on why I rent instead of buy, so here it is!  (Because Grumpy Rumblings aims to please!  Also, we needed a Monday Money post, so this seemed like a good idea.)

My first answer is, “Because I always planned on leaving this shit-hole of a state.”  I would like to own a house, but not here.

#2, however, points out that once I was more optimistic.  A little.  I thought that if my partner moved here we could buy a big house (instead of renting a tiny apartment) and we could try to be happy here.  After all I’ve always wanted to own my own house and paint my own walls and just own it.  (#2 thinks homeownership is over-rated, but #2 also doesn’t mind vertical blinds or wallpaper.)  It’s been so long since those days that I can’t remember them, but #2 swears we had those discussions.  [She may even have gchat proof that she’s too lazy to search for, but totally could if she cared enough which she doesn’t.]

At first I wasn’t living with my partner so there was no reason to buy.  Then I was saving up money.  Then, I never bought one because I didn’t want to have to sell it later, when I left.  By the time I had partner and down-payment, I wasn’t ready to commit to living in the house for at least 5 years.  And selling it later can be really obnoxious.  Who wants the hassle and the risk?

My friend did the buy-now-and-sell-when-you-leave route, and they took a bath on the finances because they had to unload it or else be long-distance landlords (NOOOOoooooo).  Personally, I would not have made the decision to buy when hir partner didn’t have a job here despite 2 years of looking, but oh well.  Now they are both employed and homeowners in a different state!

So, there you have it.

How did you make the rent vs. buy decision?

Link love

Hai controversies discusses white doctor coats.

Miser mom is a genius.

Healthy tipping point discusses ways to challenge unhealthy narratives.

Negotiating gender roles.

I just found this site which is medium-cool.

Editorial correspondence first paragraphs that kory stamper cannot send.

How much do professors work (at one school).

Don’t agree that spousal spats have to be normal, but the rest of this post is interesting.

Professional library literature.

You saw this, right?

Something about robots and academia.