The first time I met you

You remember these stories as well as I do, maybe better, but let’s revisit them in front of a bigger audience.  :)  Audience, imagine us as teenagers, which is something we once were.  The setting is a boarding high school.  Try to remember…

The first time I met you, it was after school in the evening or maybe in the day on a weekend, no it couldn’t have been a weekend.  I don’t recall exactly, but there weren’t many people around.  You were sitting alone in a “pit”– those mini-coliseums leftover from when our school building was an open school.  You were depressed.  I asked what was wrong.  You told me you’d asked a girl to a dance and she’d said no.  (Many years later she would come out as lesbian, which is the only possible reason I can think of that anyone would not be attracted to you, but then, I’m biased.)  I said generic that’s too bad you’ll find someone some day kinds of things and moved on with my life.  You moved on with yours.

Several months later, I want to say three because that’s a good number, I met you a second time.  Your roommate, for some reason I can’t remember, probably because I’m getting old, threw me a birthday party.  I think because my birthday is really close to your suitemate’s and that struck him as cause for celebration.  I was in a lot of classes with him and he was a fun guy in the way that precocious tweens are funny to real teenagers.  As his roommate, you were invited.  We talked some, though I don’t remember about what.

Every night between study hours and the time when they locked the dorms, a group of us, mostly from my science class, including your roommate, would roam around the campus in order to stave off cabin fever.  Sometime after my birthday you figured you had classes well enough under control and could start socializing more.  So you joined your roommate on these walks.  By the time your birthday rolled around, I knew you well enough to get you a present (though I don’t remember what it was… maybe Twizzlers?  Probably the only present I’ve gotten you that didn’t suck.)

Oddly, people started dropping out of the walking group and it ended up being just the two of us a few nights here and there.  You were so funny, talking about D&D and GURPs games as if they were real.  Almost a stereotype, except for not looking the part, with your tall, dark, handsomeness.  (Not that I dwelled on that back then.)

One weekend I decided to stay at school instead of going home.  It was the most fun I’d had that year.  We hung out, you and your roommate and some of your hall mates and I.  We ranged all along the off-campus area we were allowed to visit, and maybe a few places out of range.  We enjoyed the spring and being young enough to still roll down hills.  I broke up with my first boyfriend (from home) that weekend.  I still liked him as a friend, but I didn’t love him.

One night you kissed my hand saying good-bye on a walk.  One of those silly gallant things someone who loves living in fantasy worlds might do, meaning nothing by it.  And suddenly I realized I loved you.  I’d had no idea.  No idea.

I thought maybe you liked me too.  I was pretty sure.  I mean, who kisses someone’s hand without meaning something by it?  Turns out you do.  But I didn’t know that until ages later, when we were established enough that it was only minorly embarrassing to me.

Time passed, and we had more walks just the two of us.  And we had one of those conversations where I thought I was saying one thing, and you thought I was saying something else, and your response made sense in my context and in your context as well (another thing we discovered ages later)… and somehow we were dating.

I remember you seeing me off the first time when my mom picked me up, and she asked if we were dating and I said yes.

These memories used to be stronger, and they’re fading with time.  I feel like that song in Gigi, ah yes, I remember it well.  There’s so much life that’s happened since then.  We’ve spent well over half our lives together, and those baby and toddler years take a toll.

My love for you has not diminished.  I’m still that giddy 16 year old whenever we touch (especially when our progeny keep us physically apart for too long, or when I get to spend the week working from home while the kids are in school).  I still spend huge amounts of my day thinking about you.  But there’s so much more now, that there wasn’t then.  You’re still the most fascinating and attractive person I know, but you’re also a comfort and a support and a partner and a father to our children.  (And an accomplished cook!)  I can’t imagine life without you.

I love you so much.


21 Responses to “The first time I met you”

  1. L Says:

    That is a beautiful tribute! May you share many more years together.

  2. Holly@ClubThrifty Says:

    That is beautiful! I hate how those memories fade. Life with kids really does take a toll…..

  3. Leah Says:

    An excellent ode :-) I love your story.

    And, of course, I am oh-so-curious which boarding school you met at, but that would violate the spirit of your blog. But this rings extra true to me as I see this happen with my own students at our boarding school.

  4. Amanda@LadyScientist Says:

    This is so lovely! I hope you have many more wonderful years together!

  5. Linda Says:

    Awwwww! So sweet!!

  6. Ana Says:

    Awww. That is so sweet!

  7. plantingourpennies Says:

    At the risk of making the comments an echo chamber… Awwwww!

  8. Leigh Says:

    Awww! I always love these posts of yours :) Happy anniversary!

  9. chacha1 Says:

    happy anniversary :-)

  10. Rented life Says:

    Awww! Happy anniversary! June is a good month for them–we reached 15 years together on Sunday.

  11. Donna Freedman Says:

    Despite the kids and the jobs and life’s daily surprises/irritations, you’re still twitterpated. I’ll see everyone’s “awwww” and raise a “well done you!”
    Seriously: You’re very fortunate. So is he. But I think each of you already knows that.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Every day! Secretly I think I was just in the right place at the right time because DH’s paternal line has a long history of members marrying their high school sweethearts. (The women who marry in tend to be outliers from their family perspectives.)

  12. Sandyl FirstgenAmerican Says:

    I think people who end up marrying their HS sweethearts and staying married is a true testament to what a well adjusted happy upbringing you both had.

    The dating choices I made in high school and even college were far from ideal and there were countless reasons for that.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I don’t know about that. Perfectly well-adjusted happy upbringings don’t generally result in boarding school (though DH definitely did have a well-adjusted happy upbringing, even if some of it was lived in a trailer, and I went home on weekends most of my time there). We know many people who escaped to boarding school and also paired up with someone there. (Also I think the dating pool was pretty good — not as many abusive guys as at our home schools, though #2 did go through quite a few jerks before settling on her great guy.)

      DH’s extended family has a lot of people who married their high school sweethearts because said high school sweetheart got pregnant and desperately wanted to leave her own home to escape the abuse. Abusive situations can also lead to trying to escape through marriage, and can lead to putting up with abuse within a marriage.

      • Sandyl FirstgenAmerican Says:

        Yes. I should have qualified that the marriages are happy ones. Independence was something I always held near and dear to my heart because I knew way too many people who felt “trapped” in their unhappy situation.

  13. Comradde PhysioProffe Says:

    Aww! That’s so sweet!

  14. Twenty One Years | Grumpy Rumblings (of the formerly untenured) Says:

    […] met in high school.  And I didn’t think much at first, given you were crushing on another person at the time.  […]

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