Link love

this is all so true

57 sick sad books a la Daria

How college works.

Atul Gawande writes *fascinating* things.  (Note:  from 2008, the one about phantom limbs if you, like #2, hang on Atul Gawande’s every word)

Regarding #teamharpy and sexual harassment

Dear White Racists

Lousy song messages.  (We also note that Same Love starts out with what’s essentially, “I’m not gay or nuthin’, but…” so it’s also guilty of the same stuff the article author is complaining about with body image.)

Why forcing girls to change their clothing to match some arbitrary dress-code is sexist.

Confidence is not the cure for workplace bias.

This is depressing to me.  I don’t understand other people’s lives at all.  I would rather be a single parent.

Ferguson demands high fees to turn over city files.

The baby’s alarm keeps going off.

you have GOT to be kidding

Paul Ryan declares war against math

f the police

I couldn’t finish reading this story because of the heavy triggers [warning], but it is horrific.  Mothers whose children are abused get longer sentences than the fathers who actually do the abuse.

My father is doing this.

Breast pump hackathon.

27 Responses to “Link love”

  1. Rosa Says:

    A friend of mine who is a health systems geek loved Atul Gawande so much, it is his fault we ate at the Cheesecake Factory, because he wrote an article about how efficiently they manage their giant menu.

  2. Cloud Says:

    The coverage of the arrival of Chelsea Clinton’s baby has made me so angry. I stopped reading things because I was starting to hate people.

  3. Comradde PhysioProffe Says:

    The Coffee-Tea marriage sounds horrible! Those two need to either go through some serious counseling–which probably won’t work, anyway–or get divorced ASAP.

  4. Comradde PhysioProffe Says:

    Yeah, there are definitely some terrible messages in great songs. My most favorite guilty pleasure on that front is Baby Got Back, by Sir Mixalot.

  5. Fiona McQuarrie (@all_about_work) Says:

    Thanks for the link to “How College Works” – it sounds like a really interesting book. I’m going to check it out. Today I read an interview with William Deresiewicz about his book, and he came across as really defensive and rude, so I’m a little less inclined to read that one now.

  6. Rented life Says:

    Wow. It sounds like Tea already is a single parent–making plans with the kids but without the spouse? I get the family not getting ones job (story of my life) but my husband knows what I do. (Though probably not my title. My title is so vague I don’t even use it and I had to look at my contract to remember before ordering business cards.) I’ve had more than my fair share of marriage problems but I can’t see ever tolerating that level of separateness.

  7. Rented life Says:

    Oh and the confidence thing: I got accused of that shit this week. In being myself, in addressing the company’s needs and my abilities and needs (because someone was threatening to cut my hours) I was told I needed to “stop being a typical woman” and to learn confidence. It wasn’t a matter of confidence. It was a matter of fighting to stay on the projects I’ve been invested in and keeping the hours I need instead of being moved and having my hours cut. But wth do I know. I’m still pissed about it.

  8. Linda Says:

    Ah, the Camino. I mean to walk that some day, too. I’m more intrigued by the Northern Route, though, since I understand the Camino Frances is often following major roads and one must be careful of auto traffic at times. Of course, not having been anywhere near the route, that could be someone’s biased opinion I’m reading. I hope he enjoys it!

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I actually don’t know which one he’s doing… this website says the Frances is the safest (or most traveled or something), so that was why I picked it, in the hope that he’s doing the safest route.

  9. Revanche Says:

    I got sucked into the coffee/tea posts for a bit and it sounded awful. It also kind of sounds like some friends I have and I never know what to make of the malaise in settling for a lackluster life relationship. Makes me ever more grateful for my relationship.

  10. Herbal Tea Says:

    I’m not sure what your goal was in linking to my post here. And I don’t know whether you typically read my blog or whether you just happened upon that one post. Regardless, it is somewhat upsetting to read your commenters saying horrible things about me or my marriage, or to see that you linked to it for the sole purpose of saying that my life depresses you. I would a million times rather have my husband, who loves me and my kids but works long hours, than be a single parent. We’ve been married 10 years, and we have challenges just like any couple. I’ve known people who are happier in their relationships and many who have it harder. I have had many readers tell me that they relate to my experiences of dual-career families raising kids and appreciate me sharing my story. I don’t know what your life is like (I do not normally read this blog) but I doubt that it is perfect. I believe very much in honesty and know that the more I open up to people, the more there is a possibility for real communication and finding people with common experiences to ours. There doesn’t seem to be any reason for you to share this link other than to be hurtful.

    I was about to go write a post about things I am feeling happy about, but honestly, I just saw this and now I am too upset.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      There’s no intention of being hurtful, just a link because we do links every week. I don’t see these reader comments as trying to be hurtful either, just very matter-of-fact.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Why does *our* opinion that your marriage is depressing to us make you so upset? Our lives aren’t perfect but our relationships add strength and happiness rather than frustration. Does a stranger’s opinion about what you posted on the public internet mean that much to you?

      • Deborah Says:

        It’s insulting! I don’t see how you can claim it is not hurtful! I mean, what was your purpose in sharing it?
        I just clicked over to several of these people’s blogs, though, and what I can say is this: we are very different people. With different outlooks on life. I think people have varying tolerances for dealing with people who are different from them, with the ability to sit in difficult situations, and what seems untenable to one person might be fine for another. I work with people all day long; I love people and differences and the challenges that brings. To me, when it gets messy, that means we’re doing the hard work. Which is good. I noticed that several of these people seem to write advice-type blogs (I just skimmed, so my apologies if this is wrong). I’m not out to give advice or to make it look like I have all the answers. Just the opposite – I want people to feel free to admit that they *don’t* have all the answers, that sometimes life is hard. That’s what I’m doing on my page. Maybe some people are more into the safe road, the cut-and-dried. I think we will need to agree to disagree about this one.
        But please, I have never made a negative comment about another blogger on my blog. If I do, I don’t tag them, and I disguise details so they are not identifiable. I would appreciate the same courtesy.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        p.s. Please feel free to link to this post in your post on this topic. No need to disguise details or anything. This is a public blog. People can see what they think for themselves.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        Nobody has said anything negative about you. Our decisions are not a referendum on your worth as a person.

  11. nicoleandmaggie Says:

    For interested new readers stopping by to see what all the drama is about, here are some of our other posts on marriage and relationships:
    https://nicoleandmaggie.wordpress.com/2011/03/08/the-mommy-boards-are-making-me-sad-again/
    https://nicoleandmaggie.wordpress.com/2011/05/08/do-relationships-take-work-part-2/
    https://nicoleandmaggie.wordpress.com/2011/04/07/why-im-not-a-guilt-stricken-mother-and-why-the-patriarchy-sucks/

    There’s more if you search for “marriage” or “relationships” using the search button. Also every June 17th there’s a post.

  12. MutantSupermodel Says:

    I’m sort of thrilled at how many books on the Daria list I’ve read. WIN!

    I’m clueless on what #teamharpy is about but that story is creepy. At the same time, I am fascinated by librarians (still think I want to be one when I grow up) and I found the idea of celebrity librarians amazing.

    Wow the white guy has a great take on things. That was really weird for me to type…

    Re: Music– http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/booty-rap/2815279

    I’m kinda worn out on women in the workplace. It sucks to be a woman in the workplace. I get it. I so get it. And yes we need to fix that but until someone has a real solution that has nothing to do with acting like men, I’m kinda like lalalalala. (very mature in other words)

    OMG the breaking cat news is too much for words. I HAVE PLENTY OF FEELINGS! I think I was a cat in a past life and I screwed up so instead of reaching Nirvana they sent me back and gave me THIS mess of a life :D

    Paul Ryan makes me nauseous. True story.

    Your Ferguson link went to an article about the morons wearing the Darren Wilson armbands (MORONS) and not about high fees for city files. Bunch of ignoramuses.

    “The Mighty Mom utility belt turned a pump into a hands-free portable device that is worn discreetly under clothes and can work while the wearer goes about her regular routine.” WHAT!?! That is awesome! I love this young generation. I really do. They are amazing.


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