1. If you’re a full-time daycare, don’t have “Muffins with Mom”.
2. If you decide to have “Muffins with Mom” anyway, don’t put a sign-up sheet in the lobby where everyone can see which moms obviously don’t love their children enough to leave work to spent 30 min eating store-bought muffins with them at daycare.
3. Also, the next day don’t ask the moms who weren’t there why they weren’t there and then tell them that they were the only mom who wasn’t there and little DC was so upset. (Especially if the reason according to DC that ze was upset was because ze had to have grapes instead of muffins like all the other kids because ze’s allergic to wheat. Or maybe especially if that’s not the reason.)
I wonder how many moms are going to show up in Dad’s place for Donuts with Dad, which I assume they’re also having. Of course, little DC2 won’t have dad there either because he’s traveling for work that week.
I’m actually only slightly irritated, and mainly at the patriarchy. And to be honest, I would have checked the no box even if I hadn’t had a P&T meeting scheduled a month and a half in advance at exactly that time. I am willing to sacrifice DC a little bit so that other mothers can also feel free to check the “no” box if they need to or want to. (And at the time I checked “No” there were two other “No”s, one with a written “I’m out of town” excuse.) I suppose that makes me a terrible mother, but I don’t want hir to feel like this is a big deal, and based on conversations with hir the evening of the event, ze was indeed upset by the lack of muffin and not at all by the lack of mommy. (And yes, a “better” set of parents would have brought gluten-free muffins, but DC2 has gf cookies provided specifically for these kinds of events, and I didn’t really realize that it was Thursday until I got to daycare and saw the ladies setting up for the party, because the end of the semester is busy.)
I have the solace that deep down I believe that these little upsets truly are character building and learning to weather having to eat grapes when the other kids have muffins so as to avoid getting a rash is just one of those things that makes a person stronger. Obviously we shouldn’t try to create character building incidents because that’s sadistic, but it’s not such a big deal when they happen. Especially when grapes are actually better than grocery store muffins.
or with music