Can you tell we’re running low on google questions?

Q:  how to be a good mother’s helper

A:  enjoy kids.  Get off your damn phone.  Take infant & child CPR certification classes.  Sing songs, play games.  Be reliable, responsible, firm, fair, and kind.

Q:  how much to spend on work college wedding

A:  As much or as little as you want.

Q:  how to tactfully accuse someone of something

A:  shout j’accuse!!! and whirl around to point at them with a fancy, hand-made kid leather glove.

Q:  ancient words for peeing

A:  did they not say ‘draining the weasel’?

Q:  why do bad people like misery

A:  to give the hero something to fight that doesn’t cause the audience to have to deal with shades of grey

Q:  what the average accoutning phd professor makes?

A:  You want this page.

Q:  with a masters in accounting what kind of doctorate can i get

A:  is there something other than the PhD?  I mean, I suppose you could forget the accounting thing and get an EdD or something instead.

Q:  what to do with phd in accounting

A:  Besides being an accounting prof?  We’re gonna guess going into business.

Q:  how long for phd in accounting

A:  4-7 years.

Q:  what is accounting phd really about?

A:  what is life really about, anyway?  Can any of us ever really know?

 

 

10 Responses to “Can you tell we’re running low on google questions?”

  1. MidA Says:

    On the theme of questions…do you have any favorite past posts on receiving difficult feedback? I think some may be coming my way (though not sure what precisely–I’ll spare the backstory but suffice it to say that this is a surprise) and if I don’t have a gameplan, I’m afraid I may be noticeably holding back tears (still a bit hormonal and sleep deprived post baby).

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I don’t think we do– that is a good question though. Off the top of my head, what I usually do that works for me (but may not work for you) is to go through every possible scenario including the worst possible ones, and then think about what I’ve learned and how not do do the bad thing again, how to put a plan in place, what larger problems does this highlight, are there structural changes to be made etc.

      Usually the feedback isn’t as bad as my worst imaginings. And having a growth mindset helps to think of screw-ups as chances to change/grow/fix stuff.

      As a warning though, admin often doesn’t like structural changes and sometimes will attack rather than explore their feasibility. That’s a sign of bad admin.

      • MidA Says:

        Great idea! Thinking through scenarios tends to help me a lot–especially considering the worst case. In a work context, even the worst case is usually something from which I can recover.

      • oldmdgirl Says:

        Agree on redirecting towards improving toward the future. In fact, even if the negative feedback is a bunch of baloney, I recommend saying, “Thank you for taking the time to tell me your concerns. Do you have any suggestions on how I might avoid this happening in the future/ things that I can work on so that this doesn’t happen again?” Try to focus on what you can DO differently in the future. Take the focus off of who you are as a person. Depersonalize it. Then you can go stick pins in the voodoo doll you created for that purpose.

        While we’re on the subject, any advice on how to handle the following scenario: Say, someone tries to bully you into doing something and you hold your ground patiently but firmly — often they will claim you were “rude” in order to try to get you in trouble with your superiors. I’m not sure how to handle this type of feedback since a) complying with their request may not have been reasonable/safe/possible in any way, b) you provided a completely reasonable alternative that they rejected without listening, c) they actually tried to bully you and were rude to you. Do you stand your ground? Do you defend yourself? What is the best way to handle this sort of scenario? I had something like this happen recently, and I was wondering if there was any merit to proactively seeking out feedback about how the situation could have been handled differently in order to have avoided the frustration on everybody’s part. Thoughts?

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        Gee, that’s hard. We will throw this up as an ask the grumpies in the future.

        Crucial conversations tends to suggest you pretend they’re not bullying you and to reframe what they’re saying to make sure you understand etc. etc. etc. But Crucial Conversations also doesn’t really get that women are treated differently than men. Some of their afterwards from the updated edition get into this a little bit.

        With bullies, I have found that what often works the best (as a woman in a male-dominated field) is to channel your inner mom/kindergarten teacher/nun (your choice) and sigh a bit, and then talk in your disappointed voice. “I wish we could do that, but you know that isn’t safe/wasn’t reasonable/could hurt someone.” “Oh, [name], I did give you a suggestion, but …” “I don’t like being treated this way/Did you just say [x] to me? Why did you say [x]?” Some of my female heroes have this really cool way of being firm and disappointed at the same time. I’m mostly just disappointed– I’m working on getting more moxy.

        People seem to be able to defer to a woman when you remind them of one who once had power over them and you address them as if they’re naughty toddlers or elementary schoolers, especially when they’re acting like one.

        We have a few previous posts on how to deal with bullies in the archives somewhere.

    • Kellen Says:

      So, I also do the worst-scenario thing, but work myself up into being more upset doing that–although typically the feedback hasn’t been too bad. I also am a crier. But part of my problem is that any criticism I take as truth–partly because of advice I’ve been given to take criticism without argument. I also take any criticism as a sign that I’ve failed–now that I’ve had more opportunities to give critical feedback, I understand that the place it’s coming from can be the desire to help. But I also think hearing someone’s reasoning behind a mistake or a decision I didn’t agree with usually does improve my opinion of the situation, even we’re often told not to “make excuses.”

  2. becca Says:

    Sorry to dump this here, but you might like the content and moreover when I saw the old ladies blogging it made me wonder what this blog might look like in another 30 years or so. :-) “All Christianity with no Christ” needs to be A Phrase. http://margaretandhelen.com/2015/07/31/when-did-pro-life-become-pro-lies/

    @MidA- on receiving (or giving) difficult feedback, one useful thing is to gently redirect toward *how you can improve in the future*. Some mistakes can’t be unmade, but in the vast majority of situations working collaboratively on what to do better next time is the most productive use of everybody’s time. (as an aside, my present-focus vs. future-focus orientation is very definitely not a fixed part of my personality, but is highly susceptible to any number of factors including hormones. As a further aside, I once read about a study that suggest being observed to suppress tears- without actually crying- can actually increase competency ratings.)

  3. Kellen Says:

    I should really write some posts on accounting PhD’s and steal all the hits you are getting from these questions :).


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