What would your the bachelorette/bachelor season look like?

I’ve never watched the bachelor/ette franchise or really any reality shows, though I did enjoy the first season of a reality show spoof where everybody but one dude was an actor.  However, as you may know, I have really gotten into this bachelorette podcast.

From what I gather, at the start you have 25 members of the opposite sex vying for your attention.  I don’t think they get to pick the 25 guys, though they do get to send a certain number home each week.  Then each episode has two group dates and one one-on-one date.  Apparently one of the things bachelor/bachelorettes get to do is to choose kinds of dates to go on.  So if they like “manly men” this could include boxing and sumo wrestling and so on.

Watching guys beat each other up doesn’t sound very entertaining to me.

If you had 25 guys (and/or women) vying for your hand, what kinds of dates would you want to go on?  Keep in mind you choose group dates as well as individual.  There are also competitions and the person who wins the competition doesn’t get eliminated that week.

I would definitely want a cooking contest.  (A quick google shows they’ve done this for the Bachelor, but not for the Bachelorette.  Sexist.)  I might also want something where they have to work at a daycare or after school tutoring or something (not teaching sex ed though, as they did in one season of the Bachelorette).  Also maybe a housecleaning contest.  And volunteering at an animal shelter. Pretty sure those would make great tv, because hunky guys doing housework and volunteer work is hawt. Hunky men with kittens, no brainer.

Single dates could include the opera or bookstores or cheese tasting… all sorts of other things that are quiet and boring for TV.  Hm.  Gosh.  I’m not sure how I would want to spend one-on-one time with someone that would make for good tv.  Oh wait, this is a big tv franchise so I should think big.  Like, let’s go to La Scala.  Sight-seeing in London.  On a food tour of Italy.  Bread making in Germany.  Hiking in Muir Woods.  Behind the scenes at a Hank Green concert.

Also there’s a chance to meet celebrities. So like one time they had a stand-up comedy contest coached by Amy Schumer. So you could, for example, have an erotica writing contest judged by John Scalzi. Or Alton Brown could judge their cooking. Or you could have Adam Savage or Grant Imohara just a rube goldberg contest. Whoever you want to meet.

You can get publicity for your causes.

#1: Maybe we should have our bachelors come up with ways to make the public aware of violence against women
#2: Maybe we should have them come up with a way to STOP it. A true challenge.

13 Responses to “What would your the bachelorette/bachelor season look like?”

  1. First Gen American Says:

    One of my closest friends was newly single for a while and it was interesting hearing about his dates (as its been decades since I was single). He would take girls on this one hike that required you to climb a big steep watchtower at the end. The hike is very easy but the climb to the view can be scary (but my kids did it at age 3). The girls who realized it was a test and not just a fun hike did not get past the first date.

    Anyway, I think he realized that a lot of girls like the idea of dating an adventurous fit outdoorsy guy, but really don’t like doing those things themselves. This was a good screen for him cuz he actually wants common interests with his partner.

    I would definitely do the same. Rock climbing, camping, etc….

    I guess I would do all the things we normally do and see how it goes. My friends do everything from judging science fairs, going to see the Boston symphony orchestra, to attending the local smash up monster truck show.

    How about building the best potato gun or treehouse? handiness ranks high in my book.

    Thinking about it, I really have found the perfect match for myself. My husband is all of those things. (Well, I am on my own when it comes to low brow entertainment, but it’s a flaw I can live with).

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      That hike would definitely be a good way to determine your friend isn’t a great match for me! Maybe they should add a, “suggest and plan your own date” option for the contestants.

      • Rosa Says:

        for me, “suggest and plan your own date” with a low $ limit would be perfect.

        I’ve been reading the simple living and frugality and decluttering reddits and there’s a thing that happens every so often where a dude is all “how can you be frugal and date? Girls want you to spend money!” and a bunch of women chime in to say they loved hiking/dumpster diving/free concerts/second run movie dates and…crickets. Those dudes want a woman who’s totally different than themselves, and are shocked and surprised when it doesn’t work.

      • Leah Says:

        When my husband and I were first dating, we did a lot of cheap dates. I remember cooking dinner together plenty, playing cribbage, watch movies we already owned, and tons of hikes.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        What would your the Bachelorette season consist of?

  2. yuppiemillennial Says:

    Group dates: help a kid make an art thing challenge, roller skating, political advocacy day (knock on doors, advocate their opinion on some issue I care about, see if they mansplain), comfort food cookoff

    Single dates: cooking class in Italy, visiting MoCA in Chicago, freestyle rap class with LMM

  3. monsterzero Says:

    Science fiction book club! Advice column answering contest! A medical marijuana tasting! And then snacks and a nap.

  4. chacha1 Says:

    Assuming the highly improbable premise that there would ever be a Bachelorette season featuring a 50-yr-old … LOL …

    Definitely a cooking challenge. A laundry challenge. A “what were the last three books you read” challenge (to see if they read, at all). A “justify professional sports” challenge (to see if they have ever given it a moment’s thought). If they allege that they are athletes, a “teach your sport to a group of kids” challenge (to see if they actually know how to do it, or are just muscleheads, and also to see if they can communicate). A “debate a political point” challenge (to see if they can disagree without getting pouty and/or violent). And at least four weeks of dance-class challenges. You can learn a lot about a guy from how he behaves when he is out of his element. I would make them learn cha-cha, tango, foxtrot, and swing.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      It sounds like books other than a single religious text are contraband, so I’m betting that everybody’s “last book read” is going to have been the Bible! (Or who knows, maybe when they have a 50 year old on they’ll also have more religiously diverse contestants! Then the last three books read can also include the Koran and the Bhagavad Gita.)

      • chacha1 Says:

        No books?! Considering I am up to book no. 75 for the year, not being able to talk about books would make the entire exercise pointless.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        Well, you could probably provide them with books as a group date. They make exceptions to cell-phones, apparently, when it works for the drama (allowing, for example, contestants to call family if it serves the narrative, even though cells are usually banned).

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