Random comment on a small-penis-man #notallsmallpenismen from like 6 years ago

So about 6 years ago, this douche named Ed Rybicki wrote a really sexist short story that inexcusably and inexplicably got published in Nature, because the board of Nature was (is?) full of sexist asshats.  We talk about it some in this post from November of 2011.

In that post, we’re making note of the fact that tiny-penised* Rybicki kept harassing women who called him out, but completely shied away from giving men who called him out the same treatment.  We assumed he was going to wander into our comments as well because he seemed to enjoy googling himself and going into the comments of women (and only women) to generally be a clueless asshat.  Oddly, even though we dared him to, he didn’t show up in our junk mail filter (or it’s possible he did later and we didn’t notice, in any case, he didn’t do it right away).

We didn’t know if we’d scared him off or if he’d just missed our blog or if someone close to him had finally hit him with a clue stick and told him to get a life.

Well, the other day, for a completely unrelated post, I was wondering why we were getting so many hits from twitter.  Unlike my usual situation, I was on my cell rather than on the computer, and it turns out that searching twitter on the iphone gives a LOT more hits than does searching on the computer (which seems to just limit to major twitter feeds like @DLFreedman), and curious, I followed our twitter cites to nicoleandmaggie back to 2011.

In the middle of years of praise (thanks grumpy tweeters!), I found this little gem:


Well, we did get tenure.  And we’re still not on twitter.  And it took us 6 years to see your passive-aggressive whatever that was.  But thanks for playing.  Really hope in the intervening 6 years you’ve become less of a sexist asshat!  No, really!  (But it’s likely we’ll never know.)

*#notalltinypenisedmen — penis size actually isn’t that important, but misogynists tend to think it is


Should you ever fill a non-tax-advantaged IRA (answer: maybe): An obnoxious post from having upper-middle class income

Now that DH’s income is back and I’ve GOTTEN PAID(!) for the first time this school year, it’s time to start up our obnoxious money posts again.  (Maybe you’ve noticed the new tag?)

This time we turn to planning for college.  If I’d known where we were going to be today I’d have planned things differently back when DC1 was born and opened up 457 plans earlier instead of saving in 529s or prepaying the mortgage.  Sunk cost!

People with upper-middle class income who plan to send their children someplace that isn’t a state school have an incentive to do some creative things with money before their children hit their junior year of high school.  The reason for this is that they’re on the margin of financial aid for some pretty expensive places.  Forbes has a bunch of articles about our “predicament”.  Check out the colorful charts in this one.  In it, you’ll note that AGI of 125K to 275K are eligible for some financial aid at various 4 year colleges if they play their cards right.

What does playing your cards right mean?  Well, a lot of playing your cards right is moving income from places that the CSS and FAFSA consider to be available for paying for college to those that the CSS/FAFSA consider to be out of bounds.  A big portion of that is moving regular assets and investments into retirement accounts.  (Here’s an article on how much cash is excluded from FAFSA formulas.  Here’s info on how different asset types are affected.)  5.64% of your non-excludable assets are expected to be available for paying for college.  Retirement savings, even non-tax-advantaged retirement savings, are not included in any of the financial aid calculations.

And that’s where the non-tax-advantaged traditional IRA comes in.  If your (married) joint adjusted gross income is less than 186,000 (for 2017), then you can just fill up a Roth and hide money into a retirement account in a tax-advantaged way.  If you have a workplace retirement plan available, then you can only get the full tax advantage from a traditional IRA plan if you make (jointly) less than $99,000.  More rules for single parents, those without retirement accounts, etc., are available here.

So if you’re in that upper-middle-class income range, have extra money floating around in taxable string-free investments and have children likely heading to private colleges in the future, it might be a good idea to start moving those over into traditional IRAs at the rate of $11K/year for a couple.  Should you do this instead of filling up a 529 with that 11K (if you can’t afford to do both)?  I don’t know– it’s probably best to sit down and crunch the numbers yourself given your age, preferred retirement age, targeted colleges, income, expected student loan rates, and so on.

Of course, because of loopholes in the tax code, it’s possible to turn that non-tax-advantaged traditional IRA into a backdoor Roth.  Here are some pitfalls to look out for if you choose to go that route.  And don’t do it if your eldest is in college or even a junior or senior because it will show up on an aid form according to Forbes.

So where are we?  Accumulating assets while we’re both employed.  DC1 on track to go to college in ~6 years.  That leaves ~4 years to try to move money around.  The easiest way to hide money from colleges would be to move to Paradise and to buy a house there because then we’d be back in debt with all our extra cash going towards retirement and the mortgage, plus there’s no guarantee I’d be employed at all.  But it’s unlikely we’d be able to actually do that given my, you know, career and stuff.  So it probably wouldn’t hurt to start making these asset moves.  (And we should replace our cars and remodel the kitchen at some point and maybe time finally getting that donor advised fund to a year that will count for financial aid calculators.)

I already save in a 403(b) and a 457 at work plus have required retirement savings on top of that  I don’t really *want* to save another $5,500 for retirement in my name.  DH only has a 401(k) and it’s not set up properly, so he ends up getting some of the money contributed back after the company does their taxes.  Right now I think we’re probably only going to do one traditional IRA and it will be DH’s.  I believe we have about $30 in another traditional IRA (we converted all our traditional IRAs to Roths back when it was first allowed, but one of them dripped during the conversion).  So it shouldn’t cost much to do the conversion unless the stock market goes crazy between putting the $5,500 in and converting.

If we made more, it wouldn’t be worth even thinking about all this stuff.  But we’re in that range.  And I’m not crazy about our state flagship.  So, this is where we are.

Have you ever put money away for retirement without getting the tax advantage?  Are you thinking about hiding assets from college financial aid calculators?

Link Love

Man another exhausting week.  I’ve been doing a lot of work and this week was mostly service-free, so that’s good, but I am tired.  And, you know, horrible fascist US politics, especially the executive order destroying the ACA.  I don’t even know where to start with protesting that one.

Did I mention FASCISM?

women in the workplace

seems like yes, loser men are trying to harass us out of the workforce because they’re losers

The Rock test for men who don’t want to be accused of sexual harassment

red sun over the city

When I was a kid, I read books written in the 1970s where they talked about having to stay inside at recess because of air pollution.  But I was born after the first Earth Day and politicians did things to curb environmental problems even though they didn’t do enough.  And now, check out the air quality in the US.  Hank Green had been talking about having to stay indoors because of pollution too.  And of course, California is on fire.  So now we’re looking at pollution indices along with rain when making decisions about travel.  What a world.

More ashen pictures of California

Chicago does NOT have a handgun ban

Memories of Billie Jean King

New meaning to toxic masculinity (poop)


Mike Pence’s racist political stunt in Indianapolis cost tax payers over 88K.

Just stuff

The success narrative

money in your 20s vs 30s

Do you own vanguard funds?  http://www.donebyforty.com/2017/10/inside-index.html

the tree lobster is not extinct

defining nonprofit terms


The vegetarian ones look more reasonable than the meat ones in terms of time and exotic ingredients

The night before BCN

Ask the grumpies: What music do you enjoy?

Leah asks:

what music do you enjoy listening to? Do you like going to concerts?

#1: I sometimes like going to concerts, although I often find them more trouble than they’re worth. I have many and varied musical tastes.  Bagpipes are the best.  [Really, she loves bagpipe music.]

#2: I like pretty much all music EXCEPT techno and most country (though I’ve gotten better about hating country living in the South for more than a decade). I still really hate techno. Anything that is super repetitious without variation drives me crazy after a while. I just can’t handle it.

I do not like going to concerts where the audience spends a lot of time standing. That really gets up my fear of crowds. I find most orchestra concerts dull because music without word seems like background music to me. I like operatic concerts and enjoyed the Boston pops when they had a guest I liked.

#1: here’s an incomplete list of music I really like listening to:

  • ’90s hip-hop
  • Missy Elliott
  • Salt-n-Pepa
  • Jackson 5
  • Katy Perry
  • Beyonce
  • Rihanna
  • dubstep
  • One Republic
  • Hamilton mixtape
  • musicals (incomplete list:  A Little Night Music, the Music Man, Guys & Dolls, Tick Tick BOOM, The Secret Garden, City of Angels, Into the Woods)
  • Gilbert & Sullivan
  • Bagpipes
  • Hildegard von Bingen
  • Waverly Consort
  • Owl City
  • Lady Gaga
  • Michelle Branch
  • U2
  • Dr Dre
  • MC Frontalot
  • [Jonathan Couton, Paul & Storm, John Roderick and the Long Winters]
  • Blackstreet
  • Lindsey Stirling
  • Taylor Swift
  • Adele
  • Madonna
  • Nikki Minaj
  • No Doubt
  • Peter Gabriel
  • Handel
  • J. S. Bach
  • some of Mozart
  • anything sung by Bernadette Peters
  • Sondheim
  • Kanye West (don’t love him but he’s a very talented musician)
  • Metallica
  • almost all ’80s music
  • power ballads; hair bands
  • AC/DC
  • a capella music
  • Pentatonix
  • Straight No Chaser
  • Nine Inch Nails
  • Apocalyptica
  • Def Leppard
  • Kelly Clarkson
  • Angels & Airwaves
  • En Vogue
  • O.A.R
  • Barenaked Ladies
  • TMBG
  • madrigals
  • Renaissance music from all over the world
  • Naughty by Nature
  • The Corrs
  • The Scorpions
  • Flogging Molly
  • the Moana soundtrack
  • Tears for Fears


  • Amazing discovery:  TJ’s Happy Trekking mix left in a hot car and then taken inside results in the most amazing fruit/nut chocolate clusters.  A+++ would recommend.
  • I have been really enjoying fancy fruit balsamic vinegar mixed with seltzer.
  • I finally got a letter from George Soros.  He wants me to fight to legalize marijuana which (other than the racial aspects of imprisonment which are a problem and the medical aspects that are already dealt with pretty well) are so far down on my “to protest” list… I can’t even with the “paid protestors” bit the alt-right keeps trotting out.  If Soros were paying we’d be protesting marijuana laws, not the affordable care act or anti-science or laws that harm minorities.
  • Roses are red
     I’m in a training
     Poetry is hard
  • I hate when you have to schedule a meeting for a group of people because it is the only way to get one (white, male) guy to do the one tiny piece of work that only he can do, that you sit there waiting for him to do at the meeting, and it actually takes longer to schedule the @#$@3ing meeting than it would take for him to just do the one tiny piece of work that only he can do and then email the results out.
  • Speaking of meetings– I would like to stop getting cryptic emails saying we need to set up an appointment to meet/talk on the phone about an urgent sensitive matter.  THREE this week.  About completely different things!  Stop sending cryptic emails!  Just pick up the damn phone and call or stop by my office.  Or, better, stop having urgent and sensitive matters that need my input!
  • update:  none of them turned out to be that big of a deal in the end, or at least nowhere near where my imagination went!
  • “The usual” interview questions are generally asked for a reason.  Asking bizarre vaguely threatening questions in an interview to catch the interviewee off-guard does not make you a good administrator, it makes you a bad one.  Interviewing is not a gotcha-game, it’s a negotiation between two parties, both of which will be making a decision about fit.  Though I suppose in the world Republicans want, people will be so desperate for low-paid work that they’ll put up with whatever stupid psychological games their boss wants to put them through.
  • huh, look what you made me do IS I’m too sexy (for my shirt too sexy for my shirt)…and she did the right thing and paid to use it.  Cool.
  • I’m still doing my weekly calls but it feels like the bad guys are starting to get ahead, particularly in the realms of fascism.  Nobody showed up to the Indivisible voter information session other than the organizers.  What else can we be doing?  What are you doing?

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It is harder to give directed donations to a public school than to a non-profit

This year, we want to give money to DC2’s classes (English and Spanish) to help them purchase items for “differentiation, independent learning, and/or enrichment”.  This is mainly because DC2 needs them, at least on English days.  (“Mommy, I’m in the green group which means that we have the trickiest problems, but they’re still way too easy.  I already know all the sight words from preschool.”)  We want this to be anonymous because it’s just weird giving money to public school when DC2 is a member of the class.  (We know the Spanish teacher already incorporates differentiation, at least in second semester from our class observation last Spring.  The English teacher does a little bit according to DC2, but maybe not enough for DC2 right now.)

When we did this back when DC1 was in Kindergarten in private school, it was super easy, we just wrote a check along with a little note outlining the particulars of the gift.  Since we were already paying tuition to the private school we were also able to talk to the teacher about what her ideas were and make sure the money would be of interest even given the strings attached (that it be for differentiation/independent learning activities).

This time DH called up the front desk and they said they couldn’t take directed donations of money, only general donations for the entire grade, but to contact the PTO president to see if she could help.  After some back and forth with her, the PTO president reiterated that she could only take donations for the entire grade and they would go towards defraying the cost of field trips, but she’d get in contact with the Assistant Principal on our behalf.  After a couple of weeks of not hearing from her, DH emailed the school Principal directly.   A couple days later the school principal emailed back and offered the following options:

  1. Write a check to the school and the teachers would be told they could use that money, but only through the district’s preferred vendors.  The vendors are not actually that great, so their ability to make purchases would be pretty limited.
  2. Provide several gift cards for Amazon/Walmart/Target so they have more options for what to purchase (though this also is limiting, and we might not get the amounts right).
  3. Provide gift cards for cash from Visa/Amex/Mastercard.  This would be the least limiting of the choices.

Oh gentle grumpy nation, I have been trying so hard to get #3 to work.  But we want to get two $500 gift cards (one for each class) and Target/Walmart only carry Visa in $200 or less denominations, and it costs $6-7 to get one.  You can’t order Visa gift cards directly from Visa and we don’t belong to one of their participating banks that waives fees.  AmEx looked really promising with a flat $4 fee per $500 card until I tried to check out and realized there was an additional $8.95 shipping charge on top of that*.  But maybe it’s worth it since to get Visa cards at Target or Walmart we’d be paying $24 just to get $800 in gift cards.  (Mastercard is not an option because they start making the money disappear once there’s inactivity.)

I might be able to waive some fees if I wait for October’s promotion codes to show up somewhere– September’s AmEx promo code got rid of shipping costs but they’ve since expired.

Or we could just write a check and they’d be limited to the list of preferred vendors, none of which I’ve heard of.  (I have to wonder what kind of grift is going on there…)

Anyway, I’m leaning towards paying the exorbitant fees for turning plastic credit money into anonymous plastic gift money so that they can use the money wherever they want (albeit, maybe only places that take AmEx…).  Though with a minimum of $17 in fees, it’s tempting to go with Amazon cards since you can buy most things on Amazon.  Except, you can’t buy everything on Amazon.

We have our first (15 min) parent teacher conference uh… today.

*Looks like they regularly have online discounts for things like shipping fees, but October’s wasn’t up yet when I wrote this post.

What would you do, Grumpeteers?

Link Love

The headline says it all.

Americans want jobs, not low paying work.

Every member of congress who took money from the NRA and tweeted thoughts and prayers to las vegas

The rest of that thread is worth reading too.

Ugh Texas

Advice for how to handle a hands-off graduate advisor

Why go curry cracker overdrew her bank account on purpose

Take that high school physics teacher who gave us a bad write-up for our Mars project because we addressed the psychological aspects (and uh, this was one of our suggestions., though for a slightly different reason..)

The caption on this one is pretty funny.

Congrats to OMDG!

If you ever wanted to see cathedrals trash talking each other, this thread is for you


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