DH is employed again!

He did a bunch of lengthy lengthy interview processes from job openings former colleagues sent him which all ended with the companies saying, “you are amazing but we cannot have you remote” (even though he was always upfront in the first interview that we cannot move for a couple of years) and then finally got a job offer at a start-up where many of the workers are already remote.  TWO of his professional friends work there and one of them is the former colleague who left when DH’s last company had to temporarily cut salaries (and then left the next place he went when *they* cut salaries because of covid and that cut didn’t turn out to be temporary).  It’s a pay increase from his last job and he will be making about 10K more than I do.  (The first offer was pretty much identical to my salary but then he negotiated!  In theory we will be at par again after I’m promoted, but we will see.)

I’m not sure what to say other than that.  I will probably have really obnoxious posts about being rich again and that adjustment.  Though this is a start-up so it may not last long so DH wants to put a lot towards savings, which is smart.  (And if we move to a coast, selling our paid-off house would only provide a 20% down payment for another house.)  So where do we park that savings?  I guess you’ll find out in obnoxious posts after I figure it out (Vanguard index funds?  probably.  But *which* Vanguard index funds?).

Right now what’s more in my mind is the loss of time.  It was really nice having a househusband, even if he was spending 20 hours/week doing unemployment stuff (he’s now a six sigma yellow belt and has some project management thing, thank you unemployment commission).  I could just put any Ottonlenghi (sponsored link) meal I wanted on the meal plan and it would magically happen even if it took hours to make without me doing any of the cooking.  And you saw all the gorgeous baking DH has been doing.  Now I’m like… we need to eat more spaghetti with jarred sauce.  And when was the last time we had macaroni and cheese with tuna and peas (aka stovetop tuna cheese casserole)?  Also he could be first stop for any questions from the kids.  And he was just taking care of things.  Now we’re going back to 50/50 and it’s an adjustment, though thankfully the school year is over so I have some time to adjust.

The kids have a week off, so I’m having them meal plan for a week and put the necessary groceries on the list.  I’ve given them a budget of $250 which is more than we usually spend, but I didn’t want them to feel like they had to trade-off expensive fruit in order to get ice cream.  They’ve so far only spent $80 after getting our regular necessities (we have a list of bread/eggs/milk/bananas etc. that I put on before they started) and ingredients for 7 dinners, which suggests that DH and I really spend an awful lot on fancy cheeses and organic produce.  DC1 thinks we should buy restaurant sushi with the rest, but DC2 is lobbying for one of each kind of oreos.  (In the end DH and I added some things like pecans and cat litter and the bill got up to $125, give or take.)

Our state unemployment office is not letting him request the first week of unemployment benefits that they withheld that’s supposed to come to him automatically after getting a job (they claim he already requested it, which he did not).  He’s going to have to play phone roulette again to get that reinstated, but, fun story, he’s not allowed to call them about this until he is actually on the job, and he has to call during working hours.  And last time it took an hour of hitting redial before he was able to get through.  Talk about an ordeal mechanism.  And how seriously unfair to lower income people who cannot spend an hour during working hours the first week of a new job to get the bridge money they need before their next paycheck.  He hasn’t decided whether or not to make that call, since of course, we can afford not to.  But our government is just going to use that money to hurt Trans people, immigrants, and women, so…

So, yay DH!  He was definitely ready to be working again.  And he LOVES working with at least two of his colleagues and they love working with their other colleagues, so it should be fun.  Plus the head of software is a woman and that is ALWAYS a good sign.  (Women are like canaries in the Tech Coalmine– if there aren’t any, and there aren’t any in management other than project management, it is probably a hostile environment.)

… I don’t have any questions.  Being selfish and just enjoying the change.  

34 Responses to “DH is employed again!”

  1. Miser Mom Says:

    Yay, thanks for the update! I’m impressed that the kids are doing the meal planning. That’s some serious executive function skills, right there.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      I’m sure your N-son is great at meal planning these days!

      Though we basically just said pick 7 meals. Here are 2 kids cookbooks. Buy any ingredients we don’t have. Yes you can pick things from the freezer.
      So they ended up with:
      Lasagna (from freezer)
      Frozen pizza
      Deviled eggs (from ATK my first cookbook)
      Potato quesadillas (from help! Cookbook)
      Fresh spring rolls (we found a recipe in quick and easy Thai)
      Binimbop (from our Korean cookbook)
      Bulgogi (because bibimbap asks for it but the recipe makes 2lb—we suggested this after noticing they’d put on two steaks which seemed like a lot for bibimbap)

  2. FF Says:

    Congratulations to DH!

  3. Henry Says:

    That’s great news! Sounds like a good opportunity.

    Although the loss of a house-spouse will be painful :-). If it means we can all have a Rosey the Robot, I for one will welcome our Skynet overlords.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Sadly(?) the Rosey the Robot startup was one of the ones with a lengthy interview process followed by, “if only you were moving to SoCal.” (DH much prefers this company in any case.)

  4. CG Says:

    Congrats to DH! Change always requires an adjustment period, but this sounds like a good one. Among other things, it will give you more financial flexibility if you decide to make a change in your job in a couple of years. I have contemplated many times over my career how much easier all of our lives would be (including mine) if I quit my job. But I have always eventually concluded that would not be good for any of us to have one person’s only role in the household to be taking care of everyone else. Everyone in our family should also have their own thing (work, school, whatever). That is not to say that it’s not a good idea for anyone to have a SAHP, just not, I think, for us, given our personalities and how our family functions.

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      #ObligatoryDisclaimer #DontComeAfterUsSAHMob

      But yes, agreed. I don’t like feeling trapped!

      • CG Says:

        Yes, absolutely! I grew up with a SAHP and I think it was the best choice in that particular nuclear family. The parent who stayed home would have been miserable trying to balance a career and caring for a family, we had a special-needs child, and my parents were not type-A competitive people the way DH and I are. It can absolutely be the best choice for some people under some circumstances.

  5. rose Says:

    Your kids are older than the one I have who is learning about cooking but Radishkids is a good program, I do not know what it costs but teaches lots of good skills and cuisines. (I did not pay for it, not sure of costs)

  6. Matthew D Healy Says:

    For six months in 2019, I was in basically the situation of your DH: between jobs while DW was working full-time. In October I started my current fully remote job. She’s still with the same employer.

    I’m baking a bit less now than I did while between jobs.

  7. Cloud Says:

    Congrats to DH! And I hope you all settle into new routines without too much trouble. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the limits of using money to buy more time – all of our routines got disrupted by the pandemic and as we try to get back to them and I try to reclaim a little more time, I am finding that I can’t get as much time back as I remember having pre-pandemic and I can’t really figure out why. Maybe it will get better once routines settle again!

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Good luck!

      And yes, unless you have enough money to pay for a highly competent personal assistant (or a SAHP…) there are pretty big limits to the amount of time that can be bought. It’s really something only in the reach of the top 2% or so.

  8. Debbie M Says:

    Yay, obnoxious posts about adjusting to increased wealth!

    Recommendation for jarred pasta sauce: add a small can of tomato paste plus any taste enhancements you like (spices, sausage, mushrooms, etc.).

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      Ha! Does anyone actually enjoy the obnoxious money posts?

      Our standard is onions and ground beef. I sometimes make sauce from scratch but there’s so much good jarred stuff it is hard to justify the effort.

      • Cloud Says:

        I like the obnoxious money posts! We are rich at about the same level as you and DH will be, I think, and don’t always know where to put our money so the posts help me. Also I struggle a bit with the difference between my wealth now and how I grew up so a post on the ethics of being our level of rich would be really interesting to me. For instance, my husband thinks we should buy a second house and rent out the one we’re in and I can see why this is a good idea but I really struggle with the fact that we could afford two houses in our expensive real estate market and whether we’d be making things worse by doing that.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        You’re probably richer, but it is stuck in real estate! (Our house has appreciated, but not as much and from a much lower base.)

        Re: real estate in CA– you guys really benefit from Prop 13 and you can pass those subsidies on to renters if you have below-market rent. (This is a huge thing in Northern CA– you can really win the landlord lottery by getting someone who has owned the unit forever.) What is bad is when someone has a second house and just leaves it empty (this is a big problem in Toronto, apparently).

        Still, I wouldn’t do it– it is hard to get out of a rental contract as a landlord in CA (not a wasted word had a horrible saga with this and a tenant with bedbugs, and she was giving a bargain on rent to boot) and one bad set of tenants can give you a world of stress. Never!

  9. revanche @ a gai shan life Says:

    Congrats to DH!!

    I love all money posts and yours are not anywhere near the level of obnoxious it takes to register as actually obnoxious. For me, anyway. I think you’d have to be utterly different, and terrible, people for that to be the case. So yay more money posts and alas to your loss of house spouse, it sounds like it was a real treat. I’m starting to think that I’d love it if we could afford for both of us to work part-time and get 20 hours a week to do our stuff (personal and household).

  10. SP Says:

    Congratulations to DH and the family!

  11. Omdg Says:

    I don’t hate the obnoxious $$ posts!

    • nicoleandmaggie Says:

      There will likely be more. Probably starting with me replacing my iPhone 6s…

      • Omdg Says:

        Oooh! Would love to hear what you choose. I have been thinking about replacing my 8 with a 12, mostly for the camera. However I think I would find some things about the 12 very annoying, and also $$$, and ALSO my 8 is only 1.5 years old and still works great, so this is totally a want and not a need.

      • nicoleandmaggie Says:

        Probably a 12 mini or if I can wait until September and they have it, a 13 mini.

        I could probably just get the SE given how light a user I am (not in terms of time, but in what I use it for– I spend a lot of time on safari and chat) but that’s the thing about being rich, sometimes you buy things you don’t need because you can and you might want them in 5 years. Really I just want to not have to replace my phone for a long while, but that seems unrealistic. (If DH remained unemployed, I’d be taking this into the local unauthorized apple repair shop to get the battery replaced for $80 since the authorized people won’t do it for under $380.)

  12. First Gen American Says:

    Sounds like a great fit. So happy for you both.

  13. Living in the time of pandemic: COVID-19 (54) « A Gai Shan Life Says:

    […] was thinking over at Nicole and Maggie’s about which of us would be suited to being a House Spouse and realized that since we can’t do […]

  14. undine Says:

    Hooray for DH & his new job!

  15. Ask the grumpies: Ethics of being “our level of rich” | Grumpy Rumblings (of the formerly untenured) Says:

    […] I said in the comments before, as long as you actually rent out the second house, it’s likely ethical.  But you […]


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