Ask the grumpies: ritz vs. saltines vs. wheat thins vs. triscuits

Leah asks:

Which are better: ritz, saltines, wheat thins, or triscuits?

#1  Triscuits, hands down.  We go through two boxes a week.  Wheat thins are good but if you think about them while eating them you’ll realize they’re kind of sweet like cookies.  Saltines bring back memories of being broke and having a lot of saltines with peanut butter, which actually isn’t such a bad memory since they’re tasty and filling, but saltines are also kind of like salty paste, so…

#2:  Ugh.  Ritz or saltines. Boo whole wheat.  Wheat thins ore ok.

Note that triscuits and ritz and saltines should be boycotted until nabisco stops abusing its workers.

Update:  Strike is over!

12 Responses to “Ask the grumpies: ritz vs. saltines vs. wheat thins vs. triscuits”

  1. mnitabach Says:


  2. xykademiqz Says:

    I’m not one for salty snacks in general (the safest place for potato chips in my house is on my desk, and I am certain Doritos come from the pits of hell). Ritz crackers remind me of being hopelessly nauseated and pukey during pregnancies. Triscuits taste OK but are a lot of work lol. Wheat thins are fine, as are saltines. So, with the caveat that I’m not a salty snack person, my order would be

    saltines, wheat thins, triscuits, ritz

    Btw I fucking love Cheetos. It’s the only salty snack I am ever actually tempted by.

  3. Alice Says:

    If I weren’t allergic, it would be Triscuits unless I was sick or wanting something to put into soup. In those cases, it would be saltines. I’ve always found Ritz to be kind of boring and wheat thins weren’t that good.

    These days, the cracker of the house is Crunchmaster’s Multigrain, 6-Seed version. It’s a putting-things-on or eating plain cracker, like Triscuits, but a really good flavor. And we keep saltines for the non-allergic to have in soup/on sick days as desired.

  4. bookishbiker Says:

    wheat thins, ritz, triscuits, saltines
    wheat thins ARE on the sweet side but still so yummy.

  5. accm Says:

    Wheat thins. Ritz if necessary, but I find them greasy. Note that Ritz crackers do make excellent pinhole cameras for safe solar eclipse viewing — I took a box and a big piece of cardboard to my kids’ daycare in 2017.

  6. undine Says:

    Wheat thins (reduced fat ones taste better), Triscuits. Our house had Ritz crackers growing up; Spouse’s had Town House, which are fancier.

  7. revanche @ a gai shan life Says:

    Now that the strike is over I would eat all of them. I do not have a terribly picky palate when it comes to crackers.

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