Ask the readers: How can a student remember to turn in hir completed homework?

We’ve tried a bunch of things so far, even talking to one of the teachers, but DC1 cannot always remember to turn in hir homework.  Homework has different deadlines for different classes– math, for example, unlike previous math classes, only wants one big homework packet on the day of the exam.  English has daily bellwork that is only due on Fridays.  Biology is due randomly.  And so on.

DC1 is oblivious to the teacher reminding in class and to other kids putting homework in homework baskets. Things came to a head last week when we got an auto-notification that DC1 had gotten zeroes on three (completed) assignments (two major, one minor) on the same day.  Zie had just not turned them in.  Of course, one of these classes was English, and for the same not turning bellwork in on Friday as has happened before that we literally discussed with hir about this exact assignment this past week.  The other two classes are ones where zie does not have a whole lot of wiggle room, including a math packet on exam day.  This is the second time DC1 has failed to turn in a completed math packet on exam day.  None of these teachers accept late work.

Keeping an assignment notebook hasn’t worked.  Punching holes into papers and putting them in a 3 ring binder hasn’t worked.  Having a folder for random papers hasn’t worked.  For a while there I was going through papers with DC1 every night but got sick of it, and DH said he’d take over and he did for a few days but then he stopped.

The current thing we’re trying is to take a page from DC2’s elementary school.  I have repurposed one of DC2’s old homework folders.  DC1 is going to cross out hir younger sibling’s name and put HOMEWORK FOLDER on it in sharpie.  And it is only going to have homework that is due in it.  And then maybe if it still has stuff in it at the end of the day, zie can run and try to turn it in before getting on the bus?  Of course, this still requires going through those damn papers every night and making sure they get filed instead of just stuffing them in hir backpack in a crumpled mess.  I suspect any system would work if zie would just go through things without a parent assisting.

One of my friends complains that her kid doesn’t do the homework, or forgets about it and does it at the last minute.  But her kid turns things in!  And a 70 or 80% is better than a 0%!  Our kid remembers assignments, does the homework, and then just… never turns them in.  It has been happening all year, and we’re at a complete loss.

Any suggestions?

So… how to donate to DC2’s classrooms this year?

In Kindergarten and First Grade, we donated $1K anonymously to DC2’s classroom teachers for “differentiation, independent learning, and/or enrichment”.  We would like to do that again this year.

The problem is that DC2 skipped second grade.  And DC2 is the *only* kid who skipped second grade.  If the third grade teachers get the same gift cards that the K and 1st grade teachers got last year and the second grade teachers don’t, it will be pretty obvious who the anonymous donor is.  And we really don’t want to seem like we’re buying favors from the school.

So here’s my crazy thought.

Give the second grade teachers the same gift cards for “differentiation, independent learning, and/or enrichment”, and give the third grade teachers slightly different cards (or maybe just one card to share) with no such restrictions.  After all, DC2 is more on-level this year and they’re doing a pretty good job with differentiation in math (though there’s a very real chance that they will run out of packets for DC2 sometime after winter break, even assuming a slow-down in the rate zie is going).

Then next year, only give the unrestricted donation to the fourth grade teachers.

DH was initially confused by this idea– DC2 isn’t in the second grade class.  Why donate?  But then he decided he didn’t like the idea of it seeming like we’re bribing them for DC2 skipping a grade and has warmed up to the idea.

The alternative is to not give at all.  Or to give something less useful than cash gift cards.

What do you think?

How many referee reports do you do?

per month?

per year?

Do you ever get paid for any of them?

Do you ever refuse any?  How do you decide what to refuse?

#1 has found that she’s getting more and more all the time.  One of her senior mentors has told her she needs to start saying no to the ones from journals she’s never heard of.  So she’s done that once so far.  She did say yes to a recent journal she’s never heard of, but only because the editor is someone she has heard of, and in her field it’s good to do favors for people.  #1 does probably ~20 referee reports per year, including grants, and that’s probably too much.  One journal pays $100/report.  Grants and books pay $100 to $500 per report, or sometimes just a free copy of the book.

I need an Activism Pep-Talk

It is really hard staying active for longer than two years.  Especially after working overtime and way out of (my) one’s comfort zone prior to an election.  Last year from January to the end of December I gave myself a rule that I would do one political action every day and if I didn’t make a phone call or write a letter or campaign or register people to vote or protest, I would donate $25 to a political cause.  This past semester I was overloaded with service and behind on research and teaching a prep I hadn’t taught in a decade and I gave myself a break.  I was tired and everything was so overwhelming.  I didn’t stop completely– I probably averaged one action a week, give or take.  But it’s been hard.

I’m not the only one, I know.  My regular twitter feeds have toned down the encouragement to protest (wandsci a notable exception!). Our local indivisible group has dissolved. My activism page is out of date.

My favorite actions newsletter stopped sometime last winter.  I haven’t found one that I like as much.  I could just go to 5calls everyday but it’s challenging to remember to do that and to get up the energy to do it.

There’s just fewer nudges in my life and less stuff making it easy to just do something.  It’s hard to get up the willpower to get over the bigger hurdles.

But it is important that we not give up.  This is a pivotal time in history.  We are in a constitutional crisis with the executive branch denying the congressional branch its powers and the senate refusing to step up to try to enforce them.  Record numbers of truly evil people who do not believe in the personhood of women or minorities are getting confirmed as judges, meaning that we will not be able to trust our judicial system to save us.  Voting rights are being stripped.  Children are dying.  States are positioning themselves to overturn Roe vs. Wade with some of the most restrictive anti-woman legislation in half a century.  We Cannot Give Up.  We Must Fight.

We need to put pressure on our elected officials at all levels.   Locally.  At the state level.  At the federal level.  We cannot let things stand.

Whenever we get complacent, they take more of our rights away.  They try more things.  When we fight back, they ease off.

So, summer is starting.  It’s time to devote some time to activism again.  This summer, starting today, I am going to try to go back to doing something every weekday, whether it be a call to my state legislators or my members of congress or writing postcards to voters or donating to Raices Texas where they’re working diligently to keep families from separation or swingleft or indivisible to take the senate and the presidency in the next election or organizations that help keep people being allowed to vote like fair fight in Georgia where a stolen election emboldened the Republican party to criminalize a woman’s right to her own body.  I don’t think a person needs to do something every day, but I find it easier to do a little bit every day rather than doing a bunch all at once.  My DH would do his actions early in the week to get them over with, back when we were getting a weekly newsletter.

I need help.  I need to feel like I’m not alone.

Help me.

What can we do?  What do you do?  What works for you?  How can we move forward and fight?  Is anyone else trying to be politically active this summer? 

Help me with countertops! (Please?)

Grumpy Nation!  I need your help!

So… we want to have countertops made out of quartz (or granite) that look like marble.

There are… options.

Which one?

Home Depot has two companies that make quartz.  One is Silestone and the other is Viatera.  Here’s the pictures we took at Home Depot and then the one on the right is the two Viatera samples we picked up (they didn’t have any other samples — that third picture shows minuet, a quarter, then rococo, and they’re on top of our current terrible countertop).

The main difference between the different kinds of marble-ish quartz seems to be density and darkness of the grey lines.  Rococo is busier than Minuet.  White Arabesque is busier than Snow Ibiza and so on.

Also there’s two different types of marble that the quartz is trying to imitate.  Calacatta marble is the one with the fat long marbling– it reminds me of bathrooms more than kitchens, and the quartz example counter at Home Depot looked like formica to me (though oddly, there was a great looking formica knockoff– if only you couldn’t see the seams).  I like Carerra style marble instead– that’s the one with the shorter lines.  (I guess there’s also statuary marble, but I haven’t seen any quartz knock-offs for that– probably some of what I think is Calacatta is actually imitating statuary, but without any additional color.)

One problem that I have is that I cannot extrapolate those small samples to an entire counter.  Are the busy ones too busy?  The sparse ones too sparse?

Viatera has a great webpage with lots of pictures of their different options.  When you click on a stone, it shows you a slab and pictures of completed counters.  The Silestone page is a nightmare to navigate.   (I am also really irritated with a half-dressed Cindy Crawford [only wearing a top, for tops on tops, get it?] sitting on a kitchen counter on their first page and if you accidentally click it, you see a guy WEARING SHOES standing on top of another counter.  I MAKE FOOD ON THAT COUNTER.   GET OFF.  Also, WTF, aren’t women making most of these design decisions?  Supermodels are not doing it for me.)

I found a fantastic discussion on a houzz forum with pictures talking about quartz alternatives for marble.

The prices in the first picture are mostly the “non-sale” prices because apparently there’s some kind of sale going on, but it isn’t an easy to explain one, so I don’t actually know how much they cost or even their prices compared to each other.

What should I be thinking about as we decide on a countertop design?  How are we going to decide among all of these different kinds?

How thick?

The internet thinks I should be choosing between 2 cm with 3 cm edging or just straight up 3cm.  But home depot only seems to have 2 cm and 4 cm?  I’m not really sure that’s true though… How should we decide on thickness?

Edging?

Almost all the kitchen countertops we’ve seen online have either sharp rectangular corners or softer “eased” rectangular corners.  But there’s a huge wealth of different edging options. Should we just do what everyone else is doing or are there benefits to other forms of edging?

Other recommendations?

We have no idea what we’re doing.  Any suggestions on counterops would be highly welcome?

Grumpy nation!  Help a grumpeteer out!

p.s.  Several of my colleagues have built their houses from scratch and that sounds like a nightmare.  I get anxious just imagining it!

What is your favorite kind of stuffing?

#1:  Stuffing is one of my favorite foods ever.  LOVE it.  I love all kinds.  We just had an amazing fennel and onion stuffing (with whole wheat bread crumbs) in a fancy pork tenderloin dish.  Amazing.

But my favorite stuffing is homemade cornbread stuffing with lots of butter and celery and onions and carrots and apples and either walnuts or pecans (whichever we have).  Delish!  I have been known to make up to four different kinds of stuffing if we have a lot of people to serve.  Sage wheat bread stuffing made with sage wheat onion bread (a recipe from a show that is no longer on PBS about a monk who baked).  Plantation stuffing that has cornbread and wheat bread and rice and takes a while to make.  I’ll add cranberries to another, and then just have one plain (with the standard onion/celery stuff but no additions) for picky eaters.   When I’m out and about I love seafood stuffing and sausage stuffing even though I don’t generally make them myself.

#2:  um, cornbread and andouille sausage?  I’m not a big stuffing fan, honestly.  Seafood is gross and chestnuts are meh.  (p.s.  I hate cooked celery and also wild rice.)

Mmmmm stuffing.

What’s yours?