Regional differences in door opening

People seem to like discussing regional differences.

In the midwest, whoever gets to the door first opens it to let everyone behind through.

In the South gentlemen open the door to let the ladies through, but not vice versa.  Getting used to this is still a work in progress.

In the East coast nobody opens the door for anyone.

What are the door opening norms where you live?  Are there other little regional differences you’ve noticed?

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You know you’re in New England when…

  • Don’t like the weather?  Just wait a minute.  (#2 points out that people from all over the country say this, and in some seasons it’s true everywhere.  Particularly in the PNW.)
  • The only people holding doors open for other people are tourists from the midwest.  (#2 thinks Bostonians are the rudest and most self-absorbed Massholes ever in the world.)

You know what… I don’t think we can do this one.  We were able to easily find nice things to say about all the other parts of the country we’ve lived in, but apparently we’re falling flat on this one.  After talking about the weather, we’re out of neutral.

Oh, I’ve got one… Blueberries, apples, and strawberries = awesome.

  • Apples!  Apple picking!  (#2: see also: Wisconsin; Washington State #1: Yes, but New England has DIFFERENT apples… Carousel, Macon, Honey Crisp etc.)  Apple wine!  Apple desserts!  Hard apple cider!
  • Fall is gorgeous!  Spring is non-existent.
  • If you like Lobster, New England is a good place to get it.
  • High ice cream per capita ratio.
  • Public transportation is awesome.  Driving… not so much.
  • Housing is expensive, even places nobody wants to live.

Ok, drifting back into negativity there.  If only the guy who thought we were trashing the South could see us now.

(And #2 can’t help it… she literally gets covered in rashes when she visits Boston.  But Pennsylvania, Delaware, parts of New Jersey, the parts of New York I’ve been to, etc., are all nice, except that #1 informs me these are not in NE.  I have never been to Maine; I like DC ok and would probably go back for the museums but not live there.  New Hampshire has some strange things going on.  But I think use of the word “wicked” is wicked awesome, so there’s one nice thing we can say about New England!  I actually like parts of NE quite a lot but don’t have specific things to say about its quirks.)

Dear readers, surely those of you who have been to New England can finish this list for us…  Remind us of the good or just quirky things that let you know you’re in New England.

You know you’re in the South when…

  • Children call their elders Mr. Firstname and Miss Firstname, except Miss sounds like Miz.  So does Mrs.  (And, of course, so does Ms, but nobody uses that.)
  • The nurse checking you in cannot reconcile the fact that you have a different last name from your spouse with the idea that you’re married.  (“But you have different last names… so you’re not married.” [repeat a few loops, then]  “We’re married.  We’re just professors.”  “Ohhhhhhh.”)
  • Bless his/her/your heart… doesn’t really mean bless his/her/your heart.  It means ya did something dumb.  Or they just don’t like you.  Or sometimes that there’s been a tragedy.
  • Store-bought desserts are actually pretty tasty.
  • You can’t find good whole-grain bread.
  • You can find amazing preserves.  And bbq.  Though the bbq in your state is different than the bbq in the next state because the next state doesn’t have real bbq.
  • Last names are popular first names.  (I wish we could do this!  But sadly, our family last names don’t go with a DC last name.)
  • Common first names have creative spellings.
  • Life’s a bit slower and calmer than it is up North or in the city.
  • People aren’t offended by the term “redneck.”
  • It’s so hot in the summer you wanna die as you melt your way from the air conditioned car to the air conditioned building.
  • Is it green?  Bread it and fry it, baby!  I mean darlin’.
  • Even breaded and fried, I still hate turnip greens.  And mustard greens.
  • Pecans vs. walnuts:  Pecans win!
  • Restaurants have signs up telling you whether or not you can bring in your concealed weapon.
  • Y’all start saying y’all because it’s so useful!  English needs that vosotros form.
  • Your (college-age) students ask you questions about birth control failure rates.  Honest to God, I should not be having to explain condoms to ANYBODY.  I hate you, abstinence-only.
  • A single snowflake magically causes all the grocery stores to run out of milk and bread.

Whatday’all got?

You know you’re from SoCal if

  • You can’t say words that have more than 2 syllables.
  • You ask people questions about their personal life, and they answer!
  • You’re gorgeous.
  • You think you’re fat, but you’re 5’10” and 98 lb.  You also keep telling people that you’re so fat whenever you eat something.
  • You know all the celebrity gossip.  And all the movies that are coming out.
  • Even out-there parents in the rest of the country think your parenting philosophies are weird.
  • You’ve got tons of friends in “the industry.”
  • You complain about being broke while making >$200K/year.
  • People put probabilities on whether or not you’re going to show up and whether or not something is going to happen.
  • You’re often late if you show up at all.  You don’t get upset if folks leave without you.
  • Highways begin with “the”, eg the 101, the 5, the 10 etc.
  • Earthquakes are no big deal.
  • You know not to get in the car when it starts sprinkling.
  • You put on a ski jacket when the temperature reaches 60F.
  • You call that city upstate, “San Fran”

It’s been a few years… what are we missing?

You know you’re from the midwest if

  • You always ask 3 times just to be polite.  You sure?  100% sure?  Ok then…
  • “Thank you for having us”  “Thank you for coming”
  • Children address adults by Mr. and Mrs. Lastname.
  • You say what you mean and you mean what you say.
  • If you can’t say anything nice, you don’t say anything at all.  Silence is deadly.
  • You feel uncomfortable baring your soul to people you just met.  You would rather talk about the weather.
  • You feel uncomfortable when someone you barely know bares their soul at you.  You would rather talk about the weather.
  • You don’t ask intrusive questions to other people.
  • You always offer food.  Happy?  Food!  Dog died?  Food.  Visiting?  Food!
  • After a party, you have enough food leftover to throw another party.
  • Things like french onion dip (made from the lipton soup package) or cream cheese stuffed salami sound homey.
  • You HATE being late.
  • You have funny songs for all the states that border you, or can mimic their accents.  (Except Iowa, for some reason.  Maybe ‘cuz The Music Man’s got them covered.)
  • “You wanna go with?”
  • Puppy chow is nummy!  (Do not give to actual puppies.)
  • You feel nervous if it’s storming and there isn’t a basement nearby.
  • You know how to drive in the snow.
  • You hold doors for people, regardless of gender.

Any fellow midwesterners or transplants want to add to our list?