The quest to find the perfect toilet paper

One area in which we are not frugal is toilet paper.  As soon as I was responsible for my own toiletries, I decided I would never purchase scratchy thin paper again except in case of emergency.  Only reasonably soft double or triple ply will do.  (Confidentially:  My parents clog up the guest toilet every time they visit because they’re not used to the thicker paper.) [#2 thinks triple-ply is overkill.  Number two. hehehehehe.]

DH does most of the shopping and we’d figured out the kind of quilted paper we liked until suddenly it turned into icky tp that shed little tiny dusts of paper.  So after we finally ran out of the jumbo-pack (red package, quilted northern), DH, who had been on the receiving end of months of complaining nearly every time I used the restroom at home, decided to go ballistic and buy one of every “nice” toilet paper at the grocery store.

And, so I report back to you.

First off– the perfect tp is the one that #2 uses [it really is], and after visiting her last year I snuck into the cupboard where she keeps it and was sad to find out that it is a store brand local to her.  Boo.

Second–  Did you know that there are several different kinds of quilted northern? They are all soft, but some are terrible and some are great.

The toilet paper that won is Quilted Northern in the purple package.  The type:  ULTRA PLUSH.  This is soft, smooth, strong, and does not shed.  The perfect tp.

Do not confuse ultra plush with the Quilted Northern in the blue package, which is “Ultra soft & strong”  This tp is like a dandelion in terms of spreading fluff.  Not good.

Quilted Northern Super Soft is, as advertised, super soft.  If you are in pain or need a substitute kleenex, this is the one to go with.  Unfortunately, although it spreads less fluff than ultra soft and strong, it is still a shedder, and thus not as good as ultra plush.

Cottonelle ultra comfort care is another fluff spreader, though not as bad as Quilted Northern ultra soft and strong.

Charmin ultra gentle is also a fluff spreader, but without any redeeming qualities.

I also picked up some Trader Joe’s tp because it had the same pattern as #2’s paper and I was hoping it was the same product just different names, but no.  This is definitely usable TP, unlike Angelsoft, but still not as good as Quilted Northern Ultra Plush.

Cottonnelle wavy clean ripple is surprisingly thin.  It rips easily and also sheds.  It isn’t harsh at all, but it’s still not recommended.

7th generation is a step down from Trader Joe’s and, while a step up from Angelsoft, is really not all that pleasant.  Would not purchase again unless Angelsoft and worse were the only alternatives.  One roll does seem to last an awfully long time though.  This is probably a good guest bathroom choice.

Angelsoft is a lie.  It is UNACCEPTABLE.  Harsh and barely softer than what is available in most public restrooms.  This is conference hotel quality tp.  [Update:  I was at a Hilton for a conference recently, and I looked at the replacement tp roll, and indeed, it said, “Angel Soft” in large letters on the packaging.  So, go me?]

This post has been brought to you by our butts not appreciating frugality.  What toilet paper do you use?  How do you pick it out?