I bought a cheap ($35) bidet (all amazon links are affiliate, also the price currently appears to be closer to $40), figuring it was only $35 and it doesn’t require electricity so we don’t have to worry about wiring or having an extension cord go across the water closet. (Note: we have an elongated toilet seat– if you have a round one you will need a different model than the one we got.)
Here’s a set of texts from my first use:
… I tried it.
I screamed, but only the first time. Even though I was the one controlling the setting, it was still a shock. I turned it off right away and then tried again without screaming.
I… don’t know what to say.
I um feel clean? Very clean. Squeaky clean.
This kind only reaches one spot so one would have to do gymnastics to deal with uhhh urine or blood.
I don’t know how to feel about it.
DH also says he does not know how to feel about it.
A few days later, DH decided he does have an opinion.
A bidet is like a small shower. It is useful for the times when you wish you could get into a shower but don’t want to go through the effort of taking your clothes off. In those cases, it is the right tool for the job. Otherwise, it is still like a shower, but it is a very directed shower in a place in which I do not want a shower.
He also noted that except in those rare occasions in which the bidet is the right tool, he uses more toilet paper to dry off than he would wiping. (I assume this would be less of a problem with the heated air from the $450 model.)
We have very high water pressure in our house. (This is a problem for our master toilet– we blow through toilet internal parts much faster than we ought to.) Fortunately the bidet isn’t dangerous until you hit the setting for 3 (it goes up to 4…) Setting 1 is always gentle. Depending on the time of day and whether someone else is using that water line, you either want 1.5 or 2 on ours. But there is a really fine line between cleaning and giving yourself an accidental enema.
Sometime in October we finally hit Fall weather. It turns out the water gets *very* cold once it is no longer summer. That may argue for one of the more expensive heated models depending on how tough your nether regions are.
While I cannot say anything about the $450 model which is supposed to have a feature that allows you to better er, position things for women’s monthly cycles, I can definitely say that I would not recommend the cheap $35 version for that purpose. Basically, water gets everywhere. It is definitely more functional for defecation purposes.
And that is my “we got a cheap bidet” review. I don’t think we’ll get a $450 model for any of our other bathrooms, but we’re also not going to be uninstalling this one from the master bathroom.
Do any of you have an expensive bidet that you love or hate? What is your bidet experience?