After enough reading of Captain Awkward, I learned that being demi-sexual is a thing. It is, in fact, a thing that I am.
What that means is that I do not get physically attracted to people unless I know them really well first. Love at first sight is straight out for me. I’m definitely not asexual, as my feelings for DH can attest, but when DH is out of the picture I get much closer to that end of the spectrum. If anything ever happens to DH, I will likely spend the rest of my life single because I am not going to find “chemistry” on a first or even third date.
Along with that, I really cannot tell which men are supposed to be attractive. Women I think I can tell because culture is better at defining attractiveness for women and pushing that culture on us. With men, I think there’s a lot more leeway allowed for what is considered attractive. I can tell if men’s bodies are supposed to be attractive– if their muscles look right, then that’s attractive for men. But with faces it’s a lot more difficult. If they look like DH, they’re more likely to look attractive to me. If they have symmetric features, then I can tell that they’re supposed to be attractive. But as I scan through the Bachelor in Paradise cast, I really just cannot tell. And in theory, all of these men were picked because they *are* attractive. They wouldn’t be on Bachelor in Paradise otherwise.
When I started watching Try Guys videos, I could tell that Eugene was conventionally attractive. He’s got great hair, symmetric features, and a dancer’s body. But the other three guys didn’t look that great. As I watched more and more of the videos, and got to know their characters, they started looking good to me because they are likeable characters. But are Keith, Ned, and Zach actually good-looking? I have no idea.