A Google Questions post (before we solicit more Ask the Grumpies next week– get your questions ready!)

Q: do u want to do phd in accounting

A:  No, not really.

Q:  is phd in education worth it than phd in accounting

A:  A PhD in accounting is worth more and harder to get.  A PhD in education is useful if you need to climb the education administration ladder (ex. being a superintendent).

Q:  y r we forced tp do things

A:  Because you don’t do them on your own!  Now pick up that wet towel off the floor!

Q:  what are the works can professor do in vacation

A:  Research, class prep… even service.

Q:  why is last mortgage payment of year higher

A:  That’s bizarre… could your escrow (insurance + tax) have gone up?

Q:  can 529 be used for graduate school nut child no longer dependant

A:  Yes.

Q:  im 18 how long will it take me to get a phd in business accounting

A:  Before or after you finish college with high grades?  Generally 4 years of college + any years of experience you want to do + 5 to 7 years of graduate school, give or take.  Good luck!

Q:  i need a nightjob to pay off debt help

A:  Sorry, that’s rough.  Craigslist?

Q:  does long unemployment hurt your job chances

A:  Yes, sorry again.  Keep trying.  I got nuthin’ here.

Q:  is it normal for a gifted child to sleep early

A:  If they’re sleepy or growing or getting a mental and/or physical workout.  It’s certainly not abnormal, even if gifted kids tend on average to need less sleep, that’s not always the case.

Googled questions you didn’t know you had

The remaining ask the grumpies are HARD, so here’s us answering some googled questions instead.

Q:  should we ever make kids do things they don’t want to do

A:  To some extent.  It’s valuable to learn math and hygiene, for example.  However, there are more- and less-engaging ways of teaching these things.  My dad believes there is meaning in making kids make their beds each day, but I don’t.

Q:  how can i get enough money for my self

A:  Don’t rob a bank.  That rarely works out.

Q:  husband doesn’t make enough money to support family

A:  It’s a good thing that women are allowed to work (as are men, in case this is not a heterosexual marriage).

Q:  are vertical blinds in style?

A:  Never in the history of time.

Q:  college romance novels where hero heroine hate each other

A:   Why?  There are so many better tropes out there.

Q:  how you would plan to work on cousin’s wedding about ten lines

A:  Do your own homework.

Q:  our parents grow up in amuch better world than we did do you agree

A:  No.  Our drugs are more advanced, at the very least.  Wait, are you a straight white dude?

Q:  what is the difference between percentage and percentage points?

A:  You’re looking for this page.

Q:  how big is your uterus at 23 weeks compared to fruit

A:  I don’t know about uterus size, but for baby size, here’s a collection.

Q:  why does parents want to do better then there parents

A:  Because we love our children

We answer your googled questions

Q:  how to make grading more fun

A:  Markers.  Wine.  Alternatively, Fun pens and small rewards after milestones (like a 4 min vlogbrothers video or a part of a book chapter)

Q:  what if i don’t sleep train my baby

A:  You’re a BAD MOMMY– no, wait, actually nobody cares (the people who pretend to care should mind their own business).  Do whatever works for your family.  Seriously, you don’t have to sleep train.

Q:  the weeding i enjoyed most

A:  Chickweed?

Q:  should i buy expensive pikolinos shoes?

A:  if you want them and can afford them, yes!

Q:  when students complain about professor what to tell them

A:  “Why would you want to irritate the person in charge of your grades?”  (Don’t do that really though.)  Actually I think you mean when someone complains about another professor.  Hm, where is that post…  Here ya go.

Q:  why do people say live as though it’s your last day

A:  Because they don’t want to pay their taxes.

Q:  hows presentation of neconomics made

A:  Don’t do black magic

Q:  why do people complain about their low salary

A:  Grinding grip of capitalist inequality.  Also, it is nicer to have a high salary.

Q:  is sleep need related to intelligence: i.e., the more brilliant, the less need of sleep?

A:  I could look up the research on this but I’m too sleepy.  But yes, it is related in kids.

Q:  what do university professors do in the summer

A:  Sleep (not so much).  Teach (not me!).  Write and do research (soooo much).  Travel (lots of conferences).  Write and do research.  Supervise research assistants (if we’re lucky).  Write… We’re not off.

 

Googly questions and answers

Q:  how to make drama on the internet

A:  Say something disapproving about a parenting choice

Q:  is there a project for brewsters millions

A:  Dream on!

Q:  gremlin names for cats?

A:  Stick with the classics, Gizmo, Mogwai etc.

Q:  why do humans need comfort

A:  Because we live in interesting times

Q:  money tie up in a paid off house now what

A:  Invest new extra money in retirement?  College savings?  Spend it?  You could take out a home equity loan, but that may not be a good option.  Remember, talk with a real financial professional (and NOT someone from Edward Jones) before making any major financial decisions.

Q:  should kids have jobs?

A:  Meh

Q:  what do you mean by grumble and lavish money

A:  I don’t mind the former if it results in the latter…

Q:  what does it mean when things increase faster than inflation

A:  When we talk about this with money, if something is increasing at the rate of inflation that means that the true price isn’t actually changing.  You can buy the same amount of candy bars as before if your money has also been increasing at the rate of inflation.  If a cost is increasing faster than the rate of inflation (health care, education, etc.) that means it’s actually getting more expensive even if your money is growing at the rate of inflation.  The real costs of these things is increasing, not just the stated (nominal) costs.

Q:  funny things that say something?

A:  My DH is a good example of this…

Q:  meaning of grampy bitch

A:  You should be more respectful of your grandparents!  Even if they’re jerks…  Well, maybe if they’re jerks you should stop visiting them at the nursing home, it’s hard to say.  Like, is it dementia or have they always been that way?

You asked Google, we answered

Q:  do you call your pets kids

A:  No.  Babies, yes, kids, no.

Q:  what makes someone miserable

A:  Donald Trump.

Q:  why are some people hardwired to complain

A:  I reject your premise except for people who have brain damage, which is just like bad luck.

Q:  do kid do things if they can or if they want ?

A:  Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Q:  things that roussea says are forced to children as they grow older

A:  they have to stop being dream children and start being boring stodgy adults who do horrible things like read books and make a difference in the world.  Horrible.

Q:  what does it mean to be someone’s partner

A:  According to the dictionary within google:  “a person who takes part in an undertaking with another or others, especially in a business or company with shared risks and profits.”  though it could also be a romantic or sexual partner.

Q:  best female leather. attache case for short meetings?

A:  Let us know!

Q:  least favorite chore apa artinya

A:  What does it all mean?

Q:  briefcase that holds breastpump

A:  You can get the kind that comes with the pump, but really most briefcases will work so long as they’re not too thin.  You should measure the pump you have and make sure it fits inside the case.

Q:  what to ask before hiring helper

A:  Why do you want this job?  Seriously, there are so many bad answers to this question.

Google questions because that last ask the grumpies is too hard

Q:  what happens to kids that don’t do nothing when they come after school

A:  they do something?  Hopefully their homework and chores?

Q:  what language is mimi and pipi from

A:  Maybe French Canadian?

Q:  why do i love to be miserable

A:  Because you are a masochist?

Q:  why some people rather drama

A:  Because they are bored.  Idle hands make the devil’s playground.

Q:  if i pay off my lian can i borrow it again

A:  Depends on the lian agent.

Q:  websites for googly questions

A:  You have come to the right place.

Q:  why do mom’s beg kids to do stuff they don’t want

A:  This is one of those mysteries in life.

Q:  why is check book always off

A:  Basic arithmetic is a harsh mistress.

Q:  is it worth having two jobs to pay off bills early

A:  Depends on the opportunity cost of the marginal job.

Q:  how to cook rumblings

A:  I’m gonna guess in the oven, but you can probably stove-top it with a dutch oven.

Land of the answered googled questions

Q:  romance novel.with.character having.big.boobs

A:  Bet me.

Q:  how do raises work

A:  #1 wouldn’t know.  Ask #2.

Q:  Can you have vertical blinds and horizontal in the same room

A:  You have many choices in life.

Q:  matter which scholastic flyer order from

A:  I hope not!

Q:  what to do with a starting bonus

A:  Do you have an emergency fund?  Did you max out your IRA contributions?  Have you paid off high-interest debt?  Are you maxing out your work retirement savings?  Are you on track or ahead with your other savings goals?  If yes, give some to charity and blow the rest on crack.  (Not the bad kind of crack– get really good books or something.)

Q:  how much time off work do american professors get?

A:  all the time (outside of class and meetings) and none of the time

Q:  how can a teacher help a student who complain of falling test

A:  Ask your teacher and ze will tell you what zhe recommends.

Q:  what to do with 25k

A:  paypal to grumpyrumblings at gmail dot com (Or see above with the starting bonus– that’s a better idea, really.)

Q:  if majority of mortgage is paid can you still foreclose

A:  Probably yes, but this may vary by state.  Check with your state’s mortgage lending laws or consult an attorney.

Q:  what page us the sex scene in before i fall

A:  Don’t know the answer to this one, but it sounds kinda kinky

Return of the Googled Questions

Q:  why do accounting professors make so much money

A:  Supply and demand?

Q:  how do annual raises work

A:  Every year your base salary gets raised a little bit.  Usually it’s a percentage, once a year.

Q:  why are people deliberately controversial

A:  For the clicks, baby, for the clicks

Q:  another word that i can call my wife

A:  Her name.

Q: if the marginal tax rate you pay on the next dollar you earn was increased by say 10% what impact (if any) would it have on the amount of hours you would work? why?

A: DO YOUR OWN @#$#ING HOMEWORK. I bet that’s in the textbook…

Q:  right spelling for tear” like to tear up paper”

A:  I think you figured it out.

Q:  how to defeat a patriarchy

A:  if you find out please let us know.

Q:  why people lose touch

A:  Liiiiife goes on…

Q:  do gifted children who are not challeged at school get stupid?

A:  Well, they don’t grow as many dendrites as they should.  And they grow up to be grumpy bloggers.

Q:  best before 30th september 2015 is written on aveeno body cream. can the cream still be used in october 2015?

A:  You know what, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and give you permission.

Google questions

Q:  is working a minimum wage job as a teen a waste of time

A:  depends on the alternatives

Q:  can i be forced to do something i dont want to do

A:  Well, there’s death and taxes…

Q:  how to get a balanced check book when it doesn’t balance

A:  You could always burn it down and start over fresh, but I’m not sure we recommend that.  (We don’t)

Q:  how long i will wait furnished new build house

A:  If my friends are any indication, a long, looonnnnnnnnng time.

Q:  how to get pre k students to behave

A:  Tranq darts.  (Do not do this.)

Q:  why some people are miser and grumpy

A:  Too much time on early retirement forums?

Q:  is it right to make your children do things they don’t want

A:  It depends

Q:  when does the government stop taking social security

A:  Out of your paycheck, you mean?  When you no longer draw one.  (Or at the point where you have made more than $118,500 taxable income for the year in 2016.  Also SS benefits may be taxable depending on a bunch of stuff.)

Q:  is it just a privileged few that are home owners these days

A:  In most areas of the world, yes.

Q:  best gugli question

A:  Why did that movie ever get made?  Oh wait, that was Gigli.

 

 

Google questions: When you suck at answering ask the grumpies

Q:  should i roll my 401k plan at tiaa cref over to edward d jones

A:  No!  NO!  A thousand times no!!!  OMG that is a horrible terrible idea.  Don’t do it!  You will lose so much money.  AIEEEEE!

Q:  when is a second job not worth it

A:  When the marginal cost outweighs the marginal benefit?  Or maybe when the present discounted value of the job is not worth your next choice option?

Q:  do they give phd for accounting

A:  Yes

Q:  do smart toddlers sleep less

A:  On average, yes, according to survey evidence.

Q:  what happens if house is condemned still owe money it

A:  You still owe money on it.  (Consult your local regulations and lawyer.)

Q:  do nursing faculty usually get summers off?

A:  Depends on the school.  The ones I know teach year round, but that may just be school specific.

Q:  why is it superstitious not to sleep with any body parts hanging off the bed

A:  Because that’s not a real thing to worry about unless you keep your bed over like crocodiles or piranha or something.

Q:  can a tired gifted child do badly in iq test

A:  Yes.

Q:  who is mados

A:  maybe a cousin of Manos?

Q:  why are dentists weird

A:  Nobody knows, but damn are there some odd ducks.