• I HATE doing television.  I like having done television, except the part where people email me misogynist emails after, but I hate doing it.  Except PBS.  PBS is awesome.  But network tv, I hate it so much.  And yet, I keep doing it.  I miss radio.
  • The church around the corner from my sister’s house has “black lives matter” on its message board.
  • It is so hot.  I am not going outside again until Fall.
  • Sigh.  Since we’re no longer in Paradise, Outback has become an acceptable take-out option again.  I keep thinking, “we should totally walk into downtown tonight” and then remember that we can’t, and even if we could there wouldn’t be anything there worth eating anyway because it’s the wrong downtown.  Our downtown is literally >50% bars.  Sigh.
  • Strongbow is so yummy but man is my alcohol tolerance low.
  • I dreamed about a pilot for a Vulcan drama called Spockticus.  But the network decided it wanted a light-hearted comedy instead and renamed it Cupid.
  • Julian Assange was speaking on NPR so I flipped to the other public radio station.  It usually plays oldies in the morning but the host is a misogynist creep so I don’t tend to listen much if he’s talking.  (The radio station does have other shows that are totally awesome, just not this one.)  I heard, for the first time in my life, the unedited lyrics to Take a Walk on the Wild Side.  Yes, as Wikipedia says, the reference to “colored girls” is problematic to US audiences.  Ugh.
  • DC2 hates cheese and loves broccoli.  This seems backwards to me, but kind of makes sense in that one has to get nutrients from somewhere.  (In fact, the only milk product DC2 will eat in sizeable quantities is ice cream.  Zie doesn’t seem to be allergic, but who knows.)
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Driving douchy 1960s country songs out of my head with Anne Murray and Aretha Franklin

Have you ever really listened to the lyrics of Little Green Apples or Gentle on my Mind?  They’re both about patriarchal douches asserting their male privilege on devoted wimmenfolk.  The Apples guy does these creepy power tricks to prove his wife’s devotion, calling her up specifically when he knows she’s busy because he loves seeing her drop everything for him and then he’s always late on purpose because he likes the proof that he can force her devotion.  He brags about how she loves him.  He doesn’t say anything about loving her and definitely doesn’t respect her time.  But that’s the ideal of womanhood– self-sacrificing.  What more could she want than to bear his children and take care of him with selfless devotion?  Similarly the Gentle on my Mind dude is all, I travel a lot and also cheat on you with young women who don’t know they’re being cheated on, but it’s ok because I always come back to you so you’re devoted to me.  Both these dudes make a big deal about how selfless unquestioning devotion eases their minds.  Of course, because they’re douches.

Unfortunately Little Green Apples has a really catchy chorus, and Gentle on my Mind shares enough chords with it that they both get stuck in my head.  And not even Yellow Submarine can drive them out because it’s not similar enough.  The 1960s sucked really hard for women.  It was the backlash before the storm that would be the 1970s.  And when you’ve got 1960s country stuck in your head, sometimes the best thing to drive it out is 1970s country.

We played Could I Have this Dance by Anne Murray at our wedding.  Very sweet song about joint love and devotion.  Catchy tune.  A reasonably good earworm.  And when you put it into youtube to listen to it, the next song that comes up is one that is strikingly similar to the sentiments behind Little Green Apples and Gentle on my Mind, but absent the douchiness, “You Needed Me,” which is an anthem to being loved… and loving in return.

you put me high upon a pedestal
so high I could almost see eternity
you needed me

I needed you
and you were there
and I’ll never leave
why should I leave I’d be a fool

And isn’t that a better kind of love?  One where both partners love and respect each other?  Not selfless devotion on one side and mildly appreciative power on the other.  And isn’t it better to love someone who loves you in return?  To love a person or a goddess and know your sentiments are returned in full?  Leave loyal devotion to your pets, not your partner.  And that’s the power of feminism– elevating love to love between consenting adults, not a jerk and the two-dimensional pet he doesn’t even respect.

What happened when I rage bought the $450 laser hair removal thing

As predicted, one day I had enough of plucking my chin and went to amazon and bought this home laser hair removal thing.

You’re supposed to use it once every two weeks.  I’ve been using it once a week instead because my ability to remember something every other week is pretty bad and also I don’t think I’ve been using it as intensely (overlapping zaps) each time as the instructions say to do, so a second treatment probably doesn’t hurt.

There are five levels.  They say to use the highest that you are comfortable with.  I started out with level one, which was a light tingle.  Two weeks later nothing had really changed.  Level two hurt more and Level three was unbearable.  I had to ask DH to take over because I was flinching too much when I tried to do it myself.  Level two did seem to help some.  Then I had a conference and plucked for that.  When I got back, level three wasn’t so bad pain-wise.  I think the difference in pain was because there were fewer hairs to kill given the plucking.  I can also tell a big pain difference between heavily populated follicle areas and areas of sparser hair density.  Level three works much better at killing hairs.  Chin hairs die and fall out over a two week period after use.

I’m not done with the treatments yet, but I have a lot fewer chin hairs at this point.  There’s still plenty, but if I stopped now, it might be a manageable plucking number (at least for this hair follicle cycle– apparently hair grows in cycles and you have to kill off each cycle).

So, on the whole, I’m glad I purchased it.  Of course, I wasn’t expecting all the hair to go away, just to get a decrease to more manageable levels so I don’t spend 20 minutes or more plucking hair every single day.  And that decrease seems to be happening.

And that’s my mid-use update.

We’ll see if I can remember to keep it up once school starts!

Link love

So much politics this week… Let’s see here…

I suspect that all these bizarre seemingly left-field attacks on HRC from Trump “supporters” (many of whom turn out to have twitter accounts from Russia(!)) is Trump realizing what his big weaknesses are and pre-emptively attacking HRC on them.  So these new attacks on HRC’s health… are specifically because Trump’s health is worse than thought.  And so on.  They want to make it seem like she’s counter-attacking or something if these things come out.  But, Trump’s razor is forcing attention on problems he has that she was unlikely to go after.  Like that letter from Trump’s “doctor”.

The other thing about the health thing that gets me… if Clinton dies in office, we get Tim Kaine.  That’s still (the absolute value of) a bazillion times better than Trump.  How is this a bad thing?

These attacks on the Clinton Foundation, which are there because Trump’s business (and “foundation“) ties are so shaky (and Putin-y)– turning a charity foundation that helps people into a liability.  Of course, it helps a lot of black people in Africa, so maybe that’s why it’s not getting any credit for, you know, saving people’s lives.  HRC coverage SUCKS.  I mean, seriously, this AP thing is making my blood boil.  Also apparently journalists are really bad at vetting sources.

You should definitely watch (or listen to) Clinton’s Reno speech if you can (scroll down for the youtube version).  Very powerful.  As Yo is this racist says...

Godwin (of the law) says it’s ok to call Trump a Nazi.  Because he is.

Someone tweeted about Trump denying medical care to a sick baby and I was like, let me snopes that that cannot be true or it must be an exaggeration.  Turns out, nope!  It actually happened.  He cut off promised medical care to his nephew because he was mad at his brother (who was cut out of their dad’s will).  WTF.  I mean seriously, what is WRONG with this person.

The media’s false equivalence is dangerous.

Scalzi is correct.  More rich white privilege.  They don’t even know they have it.  They just don’t understand.  I wish they did.

5 common behaviors CIS men may not realize are abusive and how to stop them

Trump misusing campaign donations.  This was only one of several such stories this week.

Trump being a slimy scumbag.  Snopes makes it almost even worse.

But, of course, Trump antics haven’t stopped the police from brutally killing unarmed civilians.

Mary Jane

Monsters, role playing, and blackness.   Also recommend the radiolab podcast episode she references.

featured patreon of the week


Fallon and Streisand

Real girls



I love reading about it when Paula from Afford Anything renovates a place.

I got dried dragon fruit from nuts.com.   I am insanely happy about this (not an affiliate link, just happy).  I lived on it from TJ’s back when I was pregnant with DC1, but we moved away and then they stopped carrying it.  :(

Hispanic vs. Latino (I think we posted this when it came out, but here’s a refresher)

Let’s be honest, the French burkini ban is about keeping Muslim women trapped inside.  It would make more sense to ban white guys in speedos since white guys are responsible for more violence than are muslim women

note to self

www.vagendaofmanocide.com  (context)

Is it sad that this looks like my neighborhood?  Fortunately we only have a one-story, but boy did we see a lot of confusing second story weird spaces when we were househunting.  (With our almost 3K square feet, 4 br, 3br, and 2 car garage, we’re really only on the cusp of mcmansion ourselves.  Plus we bought a house from the builder known for quality and it really does seem to have good bones, unlike a lot of the 4K sq foot places we’ve been inside.  We used to have friends who lived at a place that looks almost identical to the “help” though they also had a fountain in the front parallel to the stone path.)

Lists of lists about Asian American books

this site is fun!

Cat pictures, please (hugo award winning cat pictures, please)


So pretty.

Historical NYTimes articles about cats

Here’s a twitter account we can all get behind.  Updates every 30 min.

Return of the Googled Questions

Q:  why do accounting professors make so much money

A:  Supply and demand?

Q:  how do annual raises work

A:  Every year your base salary gets raised a little bit.  Usually it’s a percentage, once a year.

Q:  why are people deliberately controversial

A:  For the clicks, baby, for the clicks

Q:  another word that i can call my wife

A:  Her name.

Q: if the marginal tax rate you pay on the next dollar you earn was increased by say 10% what impact (if any) would it have on the amount of hours you would work? why?

A: DO YOUR OWN @#$#ING HOMEWORK. I bet that’s in the textbook…

Q:  right spelling for tear” like to tear up paper”

A:  I think you figured it out.

Q:  how to defeat a patriarchy

A:  if you find out please let us know.

Q:  why people lose touch

A:  Liiiiife goes on…

Q:  do gifted children who are not challeged at school get stupid?

A:  Well, they don’t grow as many dendrites as they should.  And they grow up to be grumpy bloggers.

Q:  best before 30th september 2015 is written on aveeno body cream. can the cream still be used in october 2015?

A:  You know what, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and give you permission.

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Things that positively affect my mood

  • Waking up feeling rested.
  • Coffee.
  • Hillary Clinton getting the democratic nomination for president.
  • Good weather.
  • Productivity.
  • Things moving forward (including R&R and acceptances).
  • Chocolate.
  • Red meat.
  • A soothing novel.
  • Not being sick after being sick.
  • Happy music.
  • Vit. D
  • Hugs from DH.

What positively affects your mood?

Forgetting and a card trick

I have been having short-term and long-term memory problems lately.  I suspect this has something to do with peri-menopause, but it might be a B-12 deficiency or something else.  I mean to get my bloodwork done at my next doctors appointment.

DC1 is really into card tricks right now (after a week of “magician camp”), and all my life I’ve only known one card trick.

Or I used to know one card trick that I learned as a small child.  It suddenly occurred to me that I could not remember it for the life of me.  For a week I tried and tried to remember hopelessly shuffling DC1’s card deck.  I searched all over the internet looking up the term “cut the deck” and “card trick” and “bottom to top.”  Finally, after 2 days of B-12 supplements it came to me while I was trying to get to sleep.  I raided DC1’s room for hir deck and forced a sleepy-eyed DH to play the role of audience member.

Here it is in case I ever forget it again.

Optional:  Ask the person to cut the deck and restack.

Glance at the bottom card.  Do one of those fake shuffles that ends up with the bottom card as the top card.

Ask the person to cut the deck.

Pick up the one that wasn’t the top card without showing it to the person and say, “This is the [top card].”  Then glance at it and pick up the other card that was the top card and say, “This is the [other card].”  Then show both cards.

(And now I’m going back to sleep.)