link love link love roly poly link love

garb week on medieval poc is awesome

What Ben Carson has in common with slave owners.

Hank Green finally addresses race in nerdfighteria and links to a video.

SXSW’s astounding ideals of cowardice  Yay Buzzfeed.

Teach them well (trigger: harassment, groping)

We missed this going down, but dude, internet.

Ana’s weekend comes with life lessons.

How to improve casual sex for women.  Apparently starting by getting rid of patriarchy helps.

holy excrement this is the best thing ever

do not use the force

kitteh delivereh

Can I interest you in a pre-owned cat?

need a midday nap?

foster the puppeh  Also this is cute.  And this is happy.  Catsby on insta.

Reading is sexy

Cabinets by POP

Donald Trump would have been richer by doing nothing.

dord

In my new job I guess I must be a historian

Ask the grumpies: What to save for after debt

First Gen American asks:

When you pay off all your debt, what then? What should you save for (presuming that you are already saving for retirement and kids college and you like your profession so you’re not necessarily motivated by extreme early retirement).

Opportunity.

Just make sure to allow yourself to take some of those opportunities before you die.  Or at least make sure that money gets you into a really swanky nursing home.

Middle school leaves scars

We’ve had this post title for a really long time in the draft.  And we know exactly what we mean.  But… we really don’t want to talk about it.

Middle school leaves scars that can hurt well into middle-age, possibly longer.  They’re revisited less frequently with age, but occasionally we will be reminded to feel completely socially inadequate, even though we’re adults and we know it wasn’t us it was them and once we were allowed to control who we spent time with we were no longer friendless or bullied or ostracized.  But the scars are still there.  Scars that one of us is trying her best to keep her children from ever acquiring.

John Green says it well.

 

RBOC

  • I had a brilliant bon mot but I forgot it.
  • I hate it when I have to discuss a paper at the conference and I get the paper and it is 90% literature review and then 10% summary statistics and… nothing else.
  • Posted on a local discussion group that we’re looking for a piano teacher for our 8 year old who has been playing ~3 years.  Got a response, “is it a boy or a girl?”  Huh?  I don’t think I would want a piano teacher that cares what gender the child is.
  • DC2 can read!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Like, zie can sound things out and everything.
  • Cooking at home again [after two weeks in Italy] is fine.  I like other people making food for me, but I also like being able to stay home and not put on pants and not have to talk to people and not care about when things are open, etc.
  • Case of the missing credit card solved– our neighbors have been holding on to our mail that got delivered to them accidentally since AUGUST
  • Along with said missing credit card was a check from our insurance company (we changed both our car insurance and our house insurance) for $1385.  We called them and they said yes it is a real check and yes it is still good and we should cash it.  Whoops.
  • Overheard on the subway, “I’m not saying her problems aren’t real, just that she creates them herself.”
  • I’m done traveling until December!  Woooo!
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I bought shoes

My feet are so happy that they have new shoes.  This whole walking around and my feet not hurting thing is amazing.  Why did I put it off for so long?

I know why: I hate shopping and the few times I tried to buy expensive shoes I couldn’t get anybody to pay attention to me to sell things so I just left.  I am very high maintenance when it comes to shoe buying, in that I need someone to tell me what to get.  (Zappos was also a bust after several failed attempts at purchasing the correct size– I really do usually need to try things on.)

Which is why I now have a new $100 pair of sandals and then two $200 pairs of shoes after the shoe guy realized I didn’t bat an eye-lash at $189 for a pair of shoes.  It’s worth $200 to me to not have to try on a million pairs of shoes (assuming I could have found cheaper good shoes if I’d been looking myself) given that I buy shoes so infrequently and hate shopping so much.  I think the salesman got an extra kickback from the $100 Cobb Hill sandals as well, but I’m ok with that!  My feet don’t hurt!

How much was the damage?  $527 for three pairs of shoes, including tax.  How did I spend that much without blinking an eye?  Well, right before getting them I deposited a travel reimbursement check for $538.  It’s like the money was already spent!  Yeah yeah, I know, bad thinking. But I only buy shoes once every few years. I need these mental tricks to keep from being a miser.

And I did put off buying shoes for far too long.  I mean, my feet were hurting because my two pairs of work shoes were worn down because I have had them for YEARS.  Since before I got pregnant (I have a three year old), and possibly quite a while before that– I can’t actually remember when I got them.  Similarly, my brown sandals that I love but are no longer made were falling apart.  (You may remember I replaced my black sandals for #2’s wedding, but it’s too cold to wear them to work!)  When you have two pairs of work shoes, two pairs of sandals, and a pair of hiking boots… they kind of need to be replaced more frequently than I’ve been replacing them.

So that’s me.  I spent a lot all at once on super expensive shoes that I will wear for far too long.  Am I frugal?  Am I a miser?

What I am is someone who should buy shoes more often because she shouldn’t have to marvel at her feet no longer hurting.

Do you put off any purchases for far too long?  What gets you to finally spend?

 

Return of the Link Love

Five black churches should > one cvs   Damn It, Racism.

this is all true

1964 literacy test for voting

racist origins of everyday sayings

The model minority myth

Sexism is life-threatening and career threatening

H’Ann with good advice

Time to update your memes.

let me take a selfie

Class mobility, decision fatigue, and budget failure

Famous quotes the way a woman would have to say them during a meeting

John Boyega watches the Star Wars trailer.

Joss Whedon would also have been a good choice.

item 2

How much sleep do you need?

How to handle chronic complainers?

this is much more clever than I had initially realized.  Latin puns, who knew?

a tiny puppeh and its tiny pumpkin

Ask the grumpies: Favorite spring flower?

Rented life asks:

[What’s your] favorite spring flower?

#1 loves daffodils pushing up through the muddy snow.  Crocuses come second.  (Her favorite flower though is the hydrangea.)

#2 says, for spring, I think I’ll pick iris.

 Grumpy nation, bring us some spring cheer as we head into fall/winter.  What’s your favorite spring flower?