Nice Kitty is really into pointing out anything that changes to us. Since DH has moved into her bedroom, she keeps dragging us in there to point out that there’s a new screen (she’s in favor of it) and the chair is different and the 3D printer has moved and so on. These are useful skills!
DC2 is really into juvenile fantasy. Today zie noted that boys who save the world tend to make stupid decisions a lot of the time, but girls who save the world tend to make more sensible choices. I wonder if that’s a gendered trope or if it is more a time thing (since girls who save the world books tend to be more modern).
The kids are doing a lot of baking this summer even though DH is not.
Bananas have been getting ripe very quickly these days so the baking DH does has been mostly things to get rid of super ripe bananas. Turns out you can just throw them into sourdough to slightly sweeten it, or use them with leftover applesauce for a cranberry nut bread with slight banana flavor. I don’t want to say we were getting tired of regular banana bread, but DH certainly was.
We did have an amazing pizza from Williams Sonoma that used bananas. It’s literally just pizza dough, then ricotta cheese, then sliced bananas. If you eat ham you can put ham on top. Then bake! That’s it! It’s surprisingly delicious. Even if your bananas were super ripe. (Also: if you haven’t made a pizza with blue cheese and walnuts yet and you like those items, you are missing out!)
DC1 doesn’t like the way that hir current C++ teacher won’t let them use things that they haven’t “learned” yet. Zie says hir previous Java teacher would say, “I won’t be using this as an example because it uses a concept you guys don’t know yet, but we will be learning X in the future” but the C++ teacher is like, “Don’t do that.” Zie would be fine if the “Don’t do that” was upfront when the problem is assigned, but it’s difficult when you have a large knowledge base and can’t quite remember what has been taught in this class. I had this problem in Number Theory, but the thing about Number Theory is that you’re not allowed to use, say, multiplication until you’ve defined/invented it, so the limitations make more sense (it is frustrating but really gets you to appreciate how little kids can understand the concept of counting). Not being able to use an array or a loop seems less sensible.
When I teach Stata I’m very much, “there are a million ways to do the same thing, use what works for you” and I’ll talk about the pros and cons of different ways of putting in fixed effects, for example. My junior colleague who thinks I’m not very bright doesn’t like the way that I often will officially teach them the most idiot-proof way of doing something even though it’s not the most up-to-date. She doesn’t know that’s why I do things that way though– just thinks I’m out of touch. I also spend a lot of time getting them to figure out how to find out how to do things using Stata help and the internet. I’ve gotten pushback from students on that in the past because they think I should stand in front of the class and just write code. (The other professor does that, whereas I have in-class exercises instead.)
I made the mistake of wondering what was going on with John and Sherry Petersik of Young House Love (I’m on December of their last year of podcasts so only half a year left before I have to decide what to listen to on my commute instead unless they start up again.) The amount of people attacking Sherry on the internet for not putting more of her life out there but simultaneously putting too much of her life out there… it was sickening. Nobody attacks John. Nobody ever attacks the guy. Lots of speculation about her personal life too– did she have an eating disorder, did she have an affair with their contractor (extremely unlikely given she spends 24/7 with John so he’d have to be incredibly oblivious), does she have a mental illness, etc. etc. etc. And how her son not having a closet in his bedroom is somehow child abuse (it’s not!). I had forgotten how vicious the internet can be to women who try to make money from it. Anyhow, my bottom line is that John and Sherry seem like nice people and their personal life that they haven’t shared is none of our business even if they’ve shared personal life things in the past. And if you don’t like the ads on instagram stories there’s a simple solution for that– don’t go to instagram stories! (Easy for me to say since not giving facebook my personal information means I can’t even see instagram stories.) And OMG, mommy forums are cesspools! Like, literally worse than GOMI (which also has a page).
I recently deleted a comment criticizing us for not putting more personal information out there. I think there’s this belief that if a woman isn’t wearing a burka inside women’s quarters– if she ever ventures out, then somehow she’s completely available for public consumption. Men, of course, get allowed privacy no matter what they put out there. Nobody even polices their facial expressions. And in reality, the women trapped inside aren’t safe either (obviously) because it really isn’t about what you wear or where you go. It’s 100% about policing and keeping women down. Stupid patriarchy.
Someone at the library has very similar book tastes to mine and extremely heavy perfume. I had to let the new Farah Heron, Accidentally Engaged, air out on the air filter for about a week (with me fanning out the pages whenever I walked past) before I could read it without my nose dripping. (Literally dripping.)
A 10-15+ person silicon valley startup is different than a smaller established SBIR mill/Consulting company in many ways. It’s interesting how the processes are much more modern but also there’s a lot less stuff figured out.
This company calls for a lot of video meetings, whereas the old one did skype but with the video always off. DH moved back into the guest bedroom (he also has a desk next to mine in the office next to our bedroom) which has a much better setup for video and we can both have zoom meetings at the same time. (One day a week, all 4 of us are zooming in different rooms at the same time). I miss him.
DH decided to decorate the guest bedroom to make it more his office and less a guest bedroom (he’s left all the pictures of waterfalls up– my whimsy suggested decorating it like a mid-level hotel room–Gen X does cliché ironically). His mom got him one of those fake street signs that has his name on it so now the little bathroom hallway that separates the Great room from the guest bedroom is called “[DH’s first name] Rd”. The guest bathroom is a little alleyway or cul de sac off the main road in this scenario.
He bought a standing desk and a new monitor and a new keyboard/mouse setup because the guest bedroom setup isn’t perfect. He’s contemplating getting a new chair, though I’m actually the one who needs a new chair and he can take my old aeron once DC1 (who I traded chairs with) is back in school. We’ll see what happens. Money is a little part of it, but the big thing is me wanting to actually go and *sit* in chairs. When you’re spending $1K on something you want it to be perfect, or at least not to cause back pain!
DH has decided to raise his allowance an additional $720/year for a total of $3,600/year. Not all of this is going to jetpens for fountain pens and ink.
I know the whole point of an allowance is to spend on what you want without anybody judging you or saying no, but I did tell DH that I would not feel comfortable with fountain pens that cost over like $500 being in the house. So he bought this one to add to what is now a collection (if you have three of something, it becomes a collection). It is substantially pricier than his other two. But he’s had the other two (and his space pen) for at least 2 decades, maybe more, so I trust him to take care of it.
DC2 requested a fountain pen for hir birthday, so zie will be getting a platinum preppy that DH will be installing a converter for hir so zie can use his inks instead of just cartridges.
Part of me really wants to buy a fountain pen that matches the iPhone I plan to get just because it matches. But then I remember that I don’t actually *like* fountain pens all that much (I like paper that makes fountain pens feather) and would not choose a fountain pen over a nice gel pen or rollerball. Plus I would feel *terrible* losing a $25 pen. (I think I can handle losing a $5 pen these days. My beloved Clena is $3.30.)
None of those jetpens links are sponsored. I just like the company.
My aesthetic is mostly black, but there’s something appealing about getting a light purple phone. A touch of whimsey amid the darkness.
I have been learning a lot of new pen jargon from watching jet pens videos. They don’t always explain the terms but I’m starting to pick them up anyway.
RBOC two weeks in a row– I think that matches my currently scattered personality. I really need to do some deep work on two of my papers (my current two important papers) and instead I’m just futzing around on minor things. Bad bad me.
Why are plantain chips so good and banana chips so bad?
Remember how I told you guys to try adding cardamom in place of cinnamon in various recipes? Also try Star Anise in your coffee.
One of the big problems with black being a major color in my aesthetic is that I tend to lose my black phone on my black desk, especially when it’s underneath my black wallet.
I’m currently having one of those irritating weeks where I have like 4 things that are *almost* done but they’re waiting on one last thing from other people for me to finish my bit. I want to get them done and off my desk and out of my headspace, but I can’t. And these are all things where people said they’d get me the thing I needed last or earlier this week but none of them did and there’s no updated when I’m actually going to get it.
I also have 8 other projects I could be working on instead (and 4 that I *should* be working on) but I just want to get these other things done which is distracting!
If you are exercising during a zoom meeting or presentation, TURN YOUR VIDEO OFF. Seriously, WTF is wrong with you? Nobody wants to see you bobbling up and down on your treadmill while someone else is talking.
Covid cases in our county vary between red-zone and orange zone. We still have a few deaths every week. And there’s just less information being reported and more little * noting that numbers provided by the health department don’t add up. It’s depressing because this is about the point we were at *last* August right before the students came back and we’d just gotten a mask mandate. Now we have no mask mandate and our vaccination rate has been stalled out at ~40%. With the students gone we could be doing so much better. Since when did “only” 2-4 excess deaths each week from something absolutely preventable seem like everything is now fine?
Our health department just decided (a few days after that previous bullet) that it is no longer providing pandemic updates. We had redzone numbers of cases the previous day.
NIU virtual camps have been a HUGE hit with DC2. C++ with DC1 has gotten off to a bit of a slow start, but I guess not everybody has taken a language or two before.
I had a huge amount of computer/technology problems this week which reminded me that it’s been a while since I had any and I’m a lot more productive when everything just works!
DC1 has been reading the Histories of Herodotus. Zie keeps telling us about bits and pieces of it. It really is hilarious– I loved it too when I was about hir age. It’s crazy about how something so old (well over two thousand years!) can still be so entertaining. Zie even has a different translation than I did and is enjoying it, so it’s not just the translator taking liberties. I’m like, I wish we’d made you read Gullivers Travels before this so you could see that they’re from the same tradition. But alas.
On 5/12 we got an exciting email from our pediatrician group that we could sign DC1 up for vaccines. But then it turned out to be only in their city clinics a couple hours away. Why do they have to get my hopes up like that? (We went back to Plan A and called on 5/13. Then DC1 got vaccinated at a drugstore. Second shot this week!)
I went to a going away party at a patio at a restaurant with 5 other vaccinated faculty women to say goodbye to one of my colleagues who is moving to a position in a more urban area. We had the patio pretty much to ourselves even though there were a lot of people indoors. It was fun while we did it but boy did my social anxiety kick in after. Plus I was excessively chatty when I got back to everybody (sorry friends who are on my texting list!). It’s like I don’t know how to regulate anymore. (It doesn’t help that one of the women finds me slightly annoying and thinks I’m stupid, which is weird because although people have found me annoying in the past, stupid is not something I generally get. *shrug emoji*)
Why is it that when I have a deadline *everything* other than work seems like the most exciting thing to do ever, but when I finish the deadline, those not-so-great books become actually not-so-great and there’s no longer anything worth watching on youtube?
DC1 is allowed to just not take two finals each semester, though they have to be different finals than from the previous semester. Zie has to declare which two about 3 days before finals start. This semester, one teacher was like, “you should take my final because the people who took the AP exam get a special super easy final” and another teacher was like, “you have a 96% in my class and should exempt my final”. So… DC2 switched. Though that 96% is a somewhat low grade for hir for a STEM class. Unfortunately DC1 needs high As on the English and Spanish finals to get low As in those classes. :( And the English teacher just seems to hate DC1’s writing generally (even though it is grammatically correct, unlike that of many of hir classmates).
I seem low on witty bon-mots lately which is why this RBOC has taken so long to post.
One of the places DH interviewed didn’t notice until the third interview that he had never actually applied for the job. (He was asked to fill out an application before the fourth interview.)
Our a/c wasn’t working well so we had to get a technician out and they didn’t answer our text question about if he was vaccinated. So we kicked the (unvaccinated) kids out of the house and DH forgot to ask and he didn’t wear a mask, so after he left we had to open all the doors and windows to air the house out because CDC guidance (as of last week) still says that droplets can remain in the air indoors minutes to hours. UGH. I hate living in an anti-vaxx area.
I need a longer to-do sticky note– a single post-it isn’t enough! Or… I need to actually knock off some of these smaller things.
DH’s parents wanted us to drive our kids halfway to them and then take them for a week, but DC2 isn’t vaccinated, and there’s still only a 40% vaccination rate and no mask mandates between us and them. They don’t want to come here because it is too hot in the summer, which it is. We could just send DC1, but …
Every time I watch British Bakeoff I always wonder where Peter is. My children will not understand the need to complete the set.
Had a small cry about poor Puff. I like to think he found other things to keep him happy and occupied while still cherishing the memory of Jackie Paper in his heart. Like we do with our beloved cats who have passed on. Forever is a long time.
DH has been having other friends and former colleagues contacting him about positions in their companies and DH has been applying. Interviews have been slow and drawn out. So far no offers, but also no additional rejections. Currently silence from a place he’s done 3 stages of interviews with already (but the guy in charge of hiring had a baby with his girlfriend right before the last interview, which got pushed out another week because of it, so who knows what is going on there).
After one of these interviews, DH came into my office and asked if it would be ok if he switched from [important field that he has PhD and undergraduate degree in] to video game design. Apparently his skillset in modeling collisions is useful for things besides saving people’s lives. I was like, doesn’t everyone want to be a video game designer and aren’t the hours crap and the pay low, and apparently that’s not true when you’re programming high level physics? So I said, whatever makes you happy. If he does this, it would start as a consulting position.
I hurt my back bending over to get orange juice in the refrigerator. I hadn’t even picked anything up, just bent over. How is that even possible? Update: DH had messed with my chair because the purple pillow stuff kept falling off, and I think the jury-rig may have just been bad ergonomically. We figured it out and it is better now.
At the dentist office a woman in the wait room didn’t have a mask. The receptionist didn’t offer her one even though the sign on the door said they were required. The hygienist said they’d just given up on enforcing because anti-maskers get angry if you force them to and they take off the mask as soon as the receptionist turns her back if they provide a mask. There was another woman just holding her mask in the wait room when I left my cleaning. I need to move out of this state. People are so terrible. One of my students says it makes it clear who are just bad people who don’t care about other people, but I think it shows how many people are sheep willing to listen to whatever propaganda tells them. It’s too bad that the people who want to propagandize are so evil. Turns out super-villains are real.
The university is providing Pfizer to students, staff, and faculty, but the county only has Moderna. I’m hoping it’s true that Pfizer gets approved for younger teens soon, but I’m not sure where they will be able to get vaccine. Hopefully if it is approved the high school will send information about who has what vaccine. (Ideally they would run a clinic! But school may not be in session by the time Pfizer gets approved for younger teens.)
Our uni says that they will not be requiring students to get any vaccine until it has full federal approval instead of emergency approval. I sure hope one of these vaccines gets full federal approval soon. Because we’re going back to packed classrooms in the Fall whether or not vaccines are required.
I keep having nightmares about people not wearing masks. But now it’s most people not wearing them instead of a few.
DC1 is getting to be quite a good cook!
My sister had eggs frozen so she can delay childbearing. Her ovaries were overstimulated and she was sick for a week after. :(
DH went to the dealership to get the car inspected and nobody was even pretending to wear masks. Fortunately he anticipated this and has a fancy Bain-looking mask for just such an occasion. It’ll still be a while before his second vaccine shot, so I doubt everyone in there is fully vaccinated.
We’re getting fiber laid in our neighborhood so we will have more than one choice of internet provider! Woo!
Our replacing the fence has been stalled because it sounds like the posts are stuck in the brick and the brick will have to be destroyed to replace the fence. But the HOA owns the brick, we don’t. So DH finally got a hold of the HOA architectural committee and they have been communicating with him very slowly. (If the fence guy’s mason was correct, this will add another $2K to the cost of replacing the fence, but the HOA is supposed to pay for it. Whether or not they actually will is yet to be determined.)
Seems like the busier I get the more RBOC and snippets of my life you get and the fewer thoughtful substantive posts. Ah well!
Vaccine update: Second shot of Moderna, arm was sore almost right away. Next day I woke with a massive headache. Then I had chills alternating with overheating most of the day. I had a hard time getting to sleep, but also wasn’t any good for work, though I participated in several faculty meetings! It was pretty miserable and I thought to myself that if this is covid lite, then I don’t want the real thing. Then the next day I woke up and felt great although my arm was still a little sore.
In case you were not eating Annie’s products because they have yeast extract, they stopped using yeast extract like 5+ years ago. I immediately went out and bought a bunch of their cheddar snack mix.
We keep dried fruit and trail mix near the cat treats, and nice kitty has been trained that when we make crinkly sounds by the trail mix, she gets treats too. I keep chocolate things in the pantry and my kids have been trained that if they catch me, they get chocolate too. Basically, if I go to the kitchen and make crinkle sounds I suddenly have extra shadows now. I’ve turned into Pavlov.
One of our tenured faculty has started talking about the same hobby horse at every single meeting at great length. Many of us have discovered that it is a great idea to schedule another meeting right when the faculty meeting is supposed to end rather than leaving extra time.
It’s sad that Beverly Cleary died. If you haven’t reread her core books as an adult, you really should, especially the Ramona ones. They’re delightfully layered with things for kids and things for their parents that go straight over the kids heads. Also, I always identified with Beezus because my sister is SUCH a Ramona. Which Cleary character are you? (I can definitely see DH as Henry!)
My parents always made sure we had a mix of meat, veggies, and starches at every meal. On Wednesday we had carrots (roasted with olive oil, pomegranate and cilantro) for dinner. On Thursday we had sweet potato fries (with a little oil, salt, paprika, and chipotle powder). On Friday we had Korean beef slices (with a marinade and green onions). So… we get variety over the course of a week. (They also tend to have healthy lunches, but those are not necessarily balanced either. Breakfast is usually cereal but not always.)
Our uni is having a spike in Covid cases. But we’re opening up completely for fall with no social distancing and vaccines can’t be required of students unless the vaccine gets full approval by the FDA instead of just emergency approval. We got those three emails one right after the other, which was really bad timing.
The Great British Bakeoff is hilarious whenever someone introduces an American food. Like they were wowed by Chicken a la King and super impressed by what I consider to be a pretty sloppy pineapple upside down cake (the ones I make for DH are always quite beautiful– you’ll probably see a picture in the next batch of baking photos and I’m sure there are pictures of earlier ones). But the most hilarious thing was when a woman was saying she was going to use peanut butter and grape jelly together in a dessert and they were like, grape with peanut butter? There’s no way that’s going to work. And then they were SHOCKED, shocked! when it turned out to be great. I had to pause it to yell at the screen a little bit before I could continue. Peanut butter and grape jelly, who would have thunk it. What an innovative crazy idea.
The other thing that got me was that none of them had any idea what pita bread was supposed to look like. They all made them oblong. The only person who had actually eaten them before thought they were triangles because they’d been served as wedges! PITA BREAD!!! Do they not have Greek food in the UK? What is UP with that? It made me love living in the US because we may not have madiera cake or chelsea buns (which look like slightly fancier cinnamon buns), but *we have Greek food*.
If you do watch the Great British Bakeoff, the diversity of contestants in Season 6 is pretty awesome. We skipped Season 4 because the young woman student character was really irritating (so far in the three seasons we’ve tried, we’ve liked Martha and Flora, who were the young woman student characters in their respective cohorts– wikipedia notes that we were not the only people turned off by season 4’s student) and the cast was so very white. Also it turns out that Tamal (my favorite in season 6) is gay, though it isn’t mentioned in the show itself. According to Wikipedia he was interviewed after being put on some hunks list and he was like, sorry ladies, I’m flattered and single but also looking for my own Prince Charming. (If you’re watching on Netflix, series 1 is season 5, series 2 is season 4, and series 3 is season 6.)
DC1 had to read an Ayn Rand novella for English. I’m starting to believe that QAnon poetry site wasn’t an accident. Did you know that there are objectivist societies that provide free Ayn Rand books along with propaganda-laden lesson plans to teachers?
Recommendation: Get yourself a container of Gochujang from the grocery store and use it when you have a rice dish like stirfry (if you like spicy food, don’t do this if you don’t have any spice tolerance). It keeps like ketchup, so you can have it around for a long time and it’s just GOOD. You can make bibimbap or just use it to kick up any rice dish a notch by stirring it in. (Or seriously, use it in place of ketchup! It works well as a fusion condiment.)
So remember how we did a lottery for last Christmas? And we’re thinking of giving gifts only to the kids next year? Apparently this has meant that instead of sending me a card on my birthday, my MIL is sending me gifts instead. I don’t even know when her birthday is (knowing that is DH’s job and I’m not sure he does? he calls his dad on his dad’s birthday because his mom reminds him to), so I guess this is going to be one-sided! Another example of the market trying to get around government regulations (and succeeding!)
From one of my econ prof friends: A student wrote on hir essay, “The demand curve identifies as downward sloping.” What if a demand curve wants to identify as upward sloping? #GiffinGoodsArePeopleToo
I found out there’s a new version of Fruits Basket that finishes the manga and adheres more closely to it. I watched the first few episodes and it was very similar to the 2001 animated version, but … Honda is a little smarter and the anime itself is a bit less funny and maybe a bit more foreboding. Which is in-line with the manga. And then I remembered how dark the manga gets. There’s a lot of really messed up abuse. And abusers don’t end up getting punished. And then I wandered onto the fan wiki and I remembered a lot more that’s problematic with the manga. Like how (spoiler) breaking a curse is synonymous with becoming CIS-gendered. And how a previously likable person punishes the person he likes (and has wanted before that person was born…) by having sex with that person’s mother. I don’t think that stuff is in the 2001 version, which, again, only tells about half the story and is brought down to about a PG-13 level. 2001 also has much better theme music. It’s hard to believe that 2001 is 20 years ago, but that older version seems a bit more modern than the current version (which, admittedly, does follow an older manga more closely). So… I don’t think I will watch any more of the new version.
DH has been watching a lot of Great British Bake-off. He has found it inspiring.
Voss sparkling water is *really good*. I know it’s $2/bottle, but it takes me to being pool-side at a fancy California hotel. It’s lovely. Tiny bubbles and flavor that makes you imagine one of those clear glass water dispensers where they cut up the fruits/cucumbers/herbs directly in with the ice and fizzy water.
DC2 just discovered Robin McKinley. I have to make sure not to get Deerskin. I’m trying to remember if Sunshine is appropriate for an 8 year old. Hopefully the library has things shelved in the appropriate sections and I can just be careful about the stuff in YA and get everything in JV.
If you have a high schooler– remember it is not enough to *do* things that look good on a college application. You actually have to write them down and remember what they were called and so on. You can’t just say, “made regionals for some orchestra competition with the best orchestra that also plays with band instruments”… you need to remember the name of the orchestra competition and which orchestra it was and preferably what chair you were! Similarly with volunteering, you can’t just say “volunteered at some math thing”… you have to remember what the camp was called and what kind of counselor you were and what year it was(!) Write it down while you still remember or keep it in email or *something* because dredging old texts and disappearing schoology posts is not fun! (You’re lucky if it is in an easily searchable email!)
In theory I get my second vaccine shot today(!) This past week, our county and some of the counties surrounding us very briefly opened up vaccines to all adults over the age of 18 because they each had over a thousand extra vaccines they had to give out an no eligible people to give them to. By the time we found out (2 hours after it was announced) it was too late for DH to sign up but we will be paying more attention next week. The uni also has shots for eligible people and I’m happy to see that they have Pfizer, which means 17 year old students can get it. One of my friends in MA said they just announced April 19th will open eligibility for everyone to get the vaccine in her state. That isn’t very much longer from now!
That said, we got an email earlier this week saying that student cases had increased dramatically and our positive test rate was around 8%. A few hours after that, we got a tone-deaf email from the provost announcing that we were going to have to completely scrap the course schedule for Fall because they’d decided we would be 100% in person with no social distancing instead of 50% with distancing. I don’t know what the right answer is for fall, but I do know that the juxtaposition of those two emails was pretty awful. Also they’d better require students to be vaccinated like they do with meningitis and similar things.
In the past two weeks I have had 2 students, 1 research assistant, and one paper referee all have to take time off for funerals. :( This isn’t over yet. Stay masked!
Our credit union started charging $2/mo for paper statements and other paper communications. Ugh. Of course, DH notes, they expect all communications with us (including opting out of binding arbitration) to be sent to them via paper.
We had Weather that caused vaccines not to be given out for almost a week. So I suddenly got called up to get a last minute vaccination(!) When I put myself on the list there were *at least* 20K people in front of me and only ~10K first vaccines had been given out, so I think they must have blasted tens of thousands of people on the list to get a slot before a batch of vaccines expired. The national guard guy at the entrance would not keep his mask on– either his nose was showing or he was *taking it down to talk to people*. He was surrounded by other national guard and red cross and so on, so I don’t know what was going on there. The entire process, including waiting for 15 min at the end took 30 min. Well, parking took longer, but part of that was me being an idiot. So… I got my first shot! Pretty much a month before I thought I would. Hopefully that national guard dude is not a super spreader, though I assume he must have gotten covid earlier (given his cavalier attitude and the fact we’re in the South) and hopefully still has some immunity from that. There were also a lot of noses showing among older gentlemen. I really should have double masked… I’m not sure why I didn’t.
Our tax refund this year again went directly into estimated taxes for next year.
Last week DH decided to start tapping networks and applying for jobs. So he applied to three jobs and has three interviews set up now, though one of them is a second stage coding interview since that company set up the first two screening interviews last week (first with a head hunter, second with actual people at the company). He’s being upfront about us not wanting to move until DC1 has graduated high school.
If DC1 weren’t going to be a junior next year, I think we would move for a job for DH. I would probably take unpaid leave and then go on the market. I haven’t been very happy with my current situation– basically I was promised a monetary chair something like 7 years ago, but then it was given to someone who had an outside offer instead (fair) and then after zie left for another outside offer it wasn’t given to anybody for years because one of my colleagues sued about how chairs are given out. Then two colleagues who were hired and got tenure after me and have worse per-year records, lower quality publications, fewer single authored publications, and so on, were given chairs over me because they have higher *google scholar counts* which sure, they got their PhD before I did so their first publications were before mine and have had more time to get citations (and the difference is *not that big*– per year out I have more). Then the one who does zero service in the department and often cancels class and doesn’t answer her emails, skips P&T meetings when we are voting on tenure without an excuse, signs up for and then skips meeting with job candidates without saying anything, never answers service-related emails, etc. etc. which often results in me doing more service and getting emails from her students since I teach the other sections of her core classes, got a *second chair*. And I am ready to move on. I’m done.
Though the first straw this past year was when one of my colleagues told a student to report me to the associate dean for partisan speech in class (they were trying to not talk about the midterm review by talking about the first presidential debate and someone made a both sides comment and I said I hadn’t watched the debate but all the commentary I’d seen said it was one sided). Then the associate dean called in three *random* students from my classes to cross examine them on how awful I am. Then he reported to the dean who brought it up with one of the students. Then it went down to the department head who had a fully garbled conversation with me that included asking me if I’d told an entire class that a student had had covid (when I was not aware if this student had had covid). At which point *I* scheduled a meeting with the dean and associate dean and was like WTF, what is GOING ON. And found out all of the above and the dean gently told the associate dean that calling in 3 students for an off-handed comment is probably not a great idea. Did I mention that the colleague who told the student to report me just moved into the office next to mine? Anyhow, I apologized to the woman who people had said I’d said she had covid after I figured out where that came from (she has a very cute sneeze), and emailed the man who had talked to the dean and associate dean to assure him that I rubric everything and was worried about how he’d checked out of class since that day. They were both horrified that the associate dean had called them in and said neither of them had reported me or wanted to make a big deal of anything. Then before I could tell my department chair about the above, it was announced that my colleague had been granted a second monetary chair on top of the first, and the department chair decided who got those chairs so I no longer want to talk to hir.
We also want to move to a blue state. I think I’m at the point where I would be willing to exchange snow for people generally caring about other people. The Trump presidency and the pandemic have made it much harder to pretend that a lot of people living in our state aren’t as horrible as they actually are. Yes, they may be brainwashed sheeple, but I’d rather that the brainwashing be in favor of helping others and not so destructive. I am especially worried about DC2 growing up in this environment.
But if we moved earlier, DC1 would have a transition the year that grades count the most and zie would probably end up struggling in classes zie hasn’t been prepared for because middle school is so bad. Additionally it would be more difficult to get national merit because the cutoff would be higher. And zie would lose geography diversity points from certain colleges. It’s only two years, surely we can wait.
Though part of me is like, wouldn’t 2 years of high school with a decent English program be worth something? Not enough I think to make up for the potential negatives. And there’s no guarantee that other places have decent English either, just different English.
And of course, nobody will be hiring for a while and there’s no guarantee anybody will be hiring for me. So I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I don’t know what I would do with myself or who I would be if I left academia. I have no other identity. It doesn’t bother me that my identity is so wrapped up with my career. But it would if I had to leave it, even if I were making more money.
My department head watches Fox News and before the pandemic frequently stopped by my office to tell me what a horrible economist AOC is (she’s not, that is my official stance as an economist– she is not stupid and she definitely understands labor economics and public finance, she’s just not a libertarian). The person who got the two chairs is in the same field as the department chair and recently coauthored a paper with my department chair.
The colleague who turned me in to the associate dean teaches national security economics but I suspect he is pro-Trump, which seems like… bad for national security. He’s definitely very in favor of our congressman who voted in favor of sedition.
A big reason that I think I need to leave is that I do not like being a person with anger. I’d rather just remove myself from the situation. I don’t want to talk to people or fight about this, I just want to go someplace where I don’t know that people watch Fox News (or better, they don’t!) and I can get back to thinking about my work instead of being full of resentment.
Now that I’ve bought all the hand sanitizers, my new thing seems to be scrolling through jetpens.com (not a sponsor) and pretending that if I bought all the things I would suddenly become neat and organized. So far I have been keeping the dream alive by not actually making any purchases.
We got DC1 to sign up for the solo part of solo and ensemble this year because they said zie could send in a recording and DC1 really has nothing on hir transcript of interest to colleges other than grades and testscores (and the grades are not as great as they should be in English and now Spanish). But then we found out that zie has to have a piano accompaniment. And then we found out that if zie sends a video instead of going in person, zie isn’t eligible to move on to the next round. And then we found out that the school accompanist doesn’t wear a mask during practice at hir house but thinks it’s ok because zie has an HVAC system(?!) (Note: DC1’s piano teacher *currently has Covid.* She’s still doing online lessons though.) So… we said no thank you to her (and did not report her to the principal because she also does practice for accompanying students at school and says she can’t wear a mask while playing piano because she can’t see the music, which BS, she needs better masks).
So… since this doesn’t count, we’ve decided that DC1 should just accompany hirself. Zie hasn’t looked at the piano part yet, but if it is reasonable zie can play it on our electric piano and record it and have it play back while zie plays the violin part. Alternatively, zie can record it with a microphone and play it on the computer all fancy-like with headphones and stuff. Alternatively, DH found a website that has just the accompanist parts. Update: the website with the accompanist parts FTW!
DH initially didn’t want to ask the accompanist about masks because it seemed so obvious as to be rude. He’s glad I did. He was worried about doing the tryout in person but I was most worried about going to some strange woman’s house. I’m like, they will probably be following the rules at the tryout and if not you can just leave, plus the school is supposed to have upgraded ventilation. But I think doing neither is the right call here. It’s just so dangerous and we are all so close to getting vaccines. We can wait another year.
Did I mention that DC2 got invited to a zoo birthday party and we said no because of all the maskless and chin-mask selfies on the zoo yelp page? Well, that kid’s dad has a really bad case of covid now so the birthday party has been postponed.
I have a hard time coming up with people who haven’t yet had covid. I do have a couple of students whose entire families got it but they somehow escaped. I sure hope these folks I work with who have gotten it have immunity, or at least immunity enough to last me until I’m vaccinated. Though apparently one of the students in our program literally got it twice (as in, had a negative test between two symptomatic positive tests). I don’t know the student in question though, so this is just rumor.
The sympathy card pack on my amazon wishlist is out of stock. That is DEPRESSING. I mentioned this to a friend and she said at her grocery store they were out of stock of any except the $6 ones.
Another of the staff I work with on a semi-regular basis has had a close relative die. This time the woman who handles student hiring has lost her brother. I ordered another box of 30 sympathy cards since I was down to one from the box I bought last summer when I ran out of the sympathy cards I’d been holding onto for over 20 years (from the box of mixed cards– I still have two “Best Wishes” from that because I guess I sent the “Congratulations” for weddings?). Too many people have died in far too short a time period. It isn’t fair. And our university has said that employees have access to their stockpile of antibodies (assuming they meet some oxygen need) at no cost, but that isn’t available to everyone, like people’s relatives who don’t work for the university. Everything is so unfair.
The house kitty-corner from ours no longer has the weird “don’t tread on me”/trump flag flying! I don’t know if they took it down voluntarily or if the HOA stepped in, but it’s nice to be able to look out of the office window without seeing it!
I watched one of those “stop saying you have ocd you jerk, you don’t even know what it is” videos (not the exact title)… and it left me feeling more like I had ocd than I did going into it. #anxiety! In any case, if I do have it, it is under control and thus not really worth diagnosing. (Much like my actually diagnosed ochlophobia. #anxiety!) (Update: the online ocd tests both said “mild ocd but go see a doctor if you want to make sure”)
I recently learned that I’ve been misusing the word “concatenate” all my professional life. I thought it meant cut out a part and squish the rest together, or chop off the end, essentially to shorten a string, but apparently it means to join (so just the squishing together part, no cutting at all, lengthening instead)! At least I knew it was about strings…
Got an email with questions about a prospective grant proposal. The first question was, “What are you passionate about?” I deleted it.
I’m not even passionate about social justice– I am TIRED and ANGRY. Anybody who is still passionate is either a better person than I am or hasn’t actually been doing much. People (like my dean, ugh) tell me I’m passionate about things, but really I’m just good at making my anger look like passion. Or maybe I’m too cute for people to see my anger as anything other than excitement. I don’t know.
I am passionate about DH and about the next KJ Charles coming out later this month. If pushed, I will admit to being passionate about the next Courtney Milan, but since that deadline has already been pushed back once I don’t want to voice that passion in case of jinxing things unless I have to.
Courtney Milan and friends on twitter recently had a conversation about how at the core of a long-regency romance novel is that people want to be safe and that money is one way to be safe. People want to marry a duke because that is the safest place to be in that time period.
I read a lot of long-regencies. But I’ve also read a lot of mystery novels. What has been interesting to me in my most recent juxtaposition, jumping from one to the other is how all these 1920s-1960s murder mysteries I’ve been binging on c/o Christie and Sayers make it very clear that it is *dangerous* to have money, especially if you are leaving it to other people and not charities. If you have a lot of money you might as well put a target on your back. People will marry you but then *kill* you. They will come to your aid when you are sick, but only until you sign a new will in their favor. Kind hearts and coronets.
I think it is not random that this transition between 19th century and 20th century measures of literary safety happens– the 1920s bring the strong rise of the middle class and forcing minor gentry to work for a living, though I guess the Mapp and Lucia series show that that element of society is still going strong into the 1930s. And of course, Benson makes it clear (much like Jane Austen did before him) that idle hands truly are the devil’s playground and the idle wealthy are a ridiculous drain on society.
But I also want to have a lot of money because it helps me feel safe. And I want to leave money to my children because I want them to be safe. I like being able to escape. But we won’t have enough money to make us worthwhile targets… and I would hope our children wouldn’t want us dead! That’s a good reason for them to have their own income and careers. We spend so much on investing in them so they can take care of themselves. Which is another mistake that those 1920s victims make– they ask their children to live on their expectations rather than training them as solicitors or financiers or what have you. No vocation, idle hands.
Though I guess finance is a bad choice, come to think of it, because a pretty common murder motive is needing funds to cover up embezzlement! So maybe just stick to law. Not medicine because they have too much access to poison.
Agatha Christie seems to be really pro-LGBT, particularly gay men. It’s sometimes a plot point (won’t spoil it, one of her many plays). Reading the mysterious Mr. Quinn it is quite lovely how in the first story she’s pretty clear, though using coded language, that the hero, Mr. Sattherwaite (who I think appears in the occasional Hercule Poirot when HP needs gossip, ah yes, wikipedia says he does) is gay, or possibly asexual (though in later short stories she gives him a failed marriage proposal). In contrast, Sayers seems like a pretty awful homophobe, particularly when it comes to lesbians. She straight up says pretty terrible things. And yet, Sayers seems, on the whole, less anti-Semitic prior to WWII (as noted in an earlier post, Christie seems to realize she shouldn’t be anti-Semitic once the Nazis come into power).
When I was in elementary school, one of the children’s moms came in once a year to teach about Judiasm, usually around Hannukah. I didn’t realize until I was much older that she did this to help combat antisemitism. We also had a disabilities unit in 4th grade where we learned about different kinds of disabilities and how people worked around them and how to treat people we met who had disabilities. People would come in and talk to us about how to treat their seeing eye dogs and so on. The learning specialist talked about how she taught people with dyscalculia to add (which… was how I did adding at the time). It was a really wonderful program and definitely helped me not be a jerk or idiot when meeting new people. I’m not sure we could do that these days because people would be too afraid of making mistakes. And I’m sure there were stupid things we did, but on the whole all those old educational videos from the 1970s and the community volunteers themselves made us less likely to be harmful and more likely to support ADA legislation.
This blog really is a random mix of things. I think that’s more unusual than it used to be? But maybe not.
One of DH’s relative’s “friends” traveled to DC for the coup and stormed the capitol. He was really excited about it and posted pictures and videos all over his social media. Then he came home and found out that everyone he knew IRL was horrified and deleted all his social media and is pretending he didn’t go at all. I hope the FBI finds him.
DH’s relative’s youngest (the only one in college) got an additional bill for $2K for last semester because financial aid was based on the number of people living in the household and so he included his oldest and her kid. But, apparently the oldest got some kind of food assistance last semester (I don’t know if WIC or foodstamps or what) so the school decided she and her kid didn’t count as part of DH’s relative’s household, so they sent a retroactive bill for the difference(!) That seems crazy to me. (We paid it. We don’t know how much this semester is going to cost even though classes start soon.)
Speaking of DH’s relative– he kicked a covid positive mask-denier “We’re all getting it anyway so who cares” off the work site where he was working twice. The first time he threatened to kill the guy (“If you give me covid and my immunocompromised wife dies, I will hunt you down” “That’s not fair, you won’t know it was me”) , which in retrospect, he regrets. The second time he called the guy’s boss and threatened to tell the city. That actually worked. It’s nice when doing the things we tell our kids to do (talk to a responsible adult when someone is being dangerous) actually works.
Speaking of anti-maskers, DH tried to get our car inspection sticker renewed and had to go to three places before he found one where the people were wearing masks (the dealership). Except… after it was done the cashier had her mask around her neck instead of her face. He also went to drop something off at a government office and didn’t realize until he’d left that none of the people working there even had masks. 7 people died yesterday and our ICU has been 130% full for almost a full week now. The students aren’t back yet. DH is shaken. I wonder if I should start doing errands. Maybe DH can do my work instead. I’m not sure what I would have done in the moment, but I definitely would have reminded the cashier to put her mask up (I would have assumed it was an accident). As for the government office, if I’d noticed, I think maybe I would have just left the item we were turning in on the inside of the door.
The library was still quite lovely for curbside, and Target curbside was great. Hopefully he won’t have to do any more errands for a while. I can pick up and drop off library books myself once my school starts since the library is on the way to work. Also I’d completely forgotten that some people don’t wear masks because last week I went for my annual doctor’s visit and everyone at the hospital was masked without a single nose showing. I switched hospital systems and it has made a HUGE difference. Also everyone there was super nice and seemed genuinely happy to be working there, which is also really different.
The bad news though is that I am now obese(!) which I have NEVER been before (BMI exactly 30, but I’ve also gained a lot since my last checkup so it’s been a fast weight gain, which is the least healthy kind). I had my glucose checked but it’s fine. My bad cholesterol is up too– usually it’s nicely in the low to middle healthy range and only my good cholesterol is high. The doctor’s notes say the cholesterol is fine, but the automatic thing says “borderline high”. I’m having a bunch of other weird health problems too which I should probably just give their own post. Pandemic is bad! I’ve told DH he can still make bread but he needs to cut back on the sweets. The children have noticed and have been complaining.